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 Drugs and hitting bottom
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bpost
Advanced Member

Azerbaijan
37448 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  4:45:45 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My nephew had a drug issue when he was a late teen, early 20's. He got clean, worked his ass off and moved up in a company installing cell towers.

He is 30 now; just got married in September to a beautiful lady with two daughters. He had amazing growth in his job, in management, making excellent money, company truck and awesome benefits including lots of vacation and health insurance.

On a tip from some unknown person a company administrator found needles and other signs of drug use in his company truck. He was fired on the spot. He lied to his wife and said he quit.

I don't want to bury my nephew but only the druggie can get the help they need to get clean. If he chooses to stay a druggie the outcome is known by all.

His wife is threw him out of the house they just bought; she is divorcing him, he will loose the duplex he bought before he got married because he is a druggie. His truck has one more payment that his mommy will pay. The bottom is close, I hope Eric makes the choice to seek God's guiding hand towards a clean life. I really don't want to attend his funeral services...

My heart is broken, I love this young man but know I can do absolutely nothing for him. The ball is in his court, his lifestyle is a choice, he has thrown it all away to be a druggie. What a dumbass.

I am a practicing Curmudgeon, someone that hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so.



spasmcreek
Advanced Member

33779 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  4:53:04 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
tough deal but u can only do so much then it becomes enabling..he's gotta get himself up
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Ditch-Runner
Advanced Member

USA
15361 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  5:00:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
sorry to hear , once on a downward spiral loosing it all pulling back out will be a rough time . hoping for the best and he gets help fast
I watched my brother and BIL follow the same path and they did not make it
a story repeated too many times across the country
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mogley98
Advanced Member

USA
14264 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  5:03:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I reckon it to be somewhat like eating.

Most folks want to lose weight or quit a drug I think stopping drug use is akin to weight loss.

Some things are addictive enough, chaps my arse that the Cig companies added crap to the cigs to make it harder to quit.

They should claw back every dime any Execs ever made pulling that crap.
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wpageabc
Advanced Member

USA
7296 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  5:36:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
If needles were found thats a bad sign. Prayers for your family...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u99Q7pNAjvg
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shilowar
Advanced Member

USA
36784 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  5:53:57 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Heroin and meth are everywhere....10 years ago it was rare that we arrested folks for it, now we are arresting them daily. We are running out of room in our evidence vault due to the number of pending cases. Heroin is becoming so common place now that first time arrestees are being released on unsecure bonds. It's ridiculous.
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Sam06
Advanced Member

12734 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  6:24:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Too bad I feel for his family for him though I have little compassion.

This is how most druggies leave their loved ones:
quote:
My heart is broken, I love this young man but know I can do absolutely nothing for him. The ball is in his court, his lifestyle is a choice, he has thrown it all away to be a druggie. What a dumbass.

RLTW

Proud white heteronormative cis-male member of the Kyriarchy


Liberalism: The haunting feeling that someone, somewhere, might be having a good time.
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dav1965
Advanced Member

USA
11065 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  7:15:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I left my first wife because she got hooked on drugs. I went out of town to play softball and took my 5 year old daughter with me.

She told me i could not go about 1 hour before we were to leave. I told her i will see you tonight or tomorrow depending on if we won.

She was mad at me and the neighbors offered her drugs and she was hooked after that. I put her through rehab 4 or 5 times and then left.
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roswellnative
Advanced Member

Finland
8662 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2018 :  8:14:33 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Bad news. Sorry to hear
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iceracerx
Advanced Member

USA
8377 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  12:00:51 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
There but for the grace of God go I.

I hope your nephew gets the help he needs.

A friend's sister smoked crack back in the 90's. She went through a program and 'got' clean. I asked her if it was as addictive as claimed. She said that not a day goes buy that she doesn't want to smoke some. That is one BIG jones.

I can't imagine what that would be like.
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nemesisenforcer
Advanced Member

10768 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  12:38:00 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
It's more complicated than that, but in essence you're right and I hope the best for him and his family.

Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all full up here.

"Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid." - John Wayne



Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
óH L Mencken




"Here's a toast to virgins and lesbians: THANKS FOR NOTHIN!!!!!"



"I don't know which disgusts me more: your cowardice or your stupidity."

"HISTORY, CULTURE, TRADITION. THESE ARE NOT CONCEPTS; THEY ARE SOUVENIRS I KEEP IN MY DEN AS PAPERWEIGHTS!!!"

". . . greed -- for lack of a better word -- is good.

Greed is right.

Greed works.

Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.

Greed, in all of its forms -- greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge -- has marked the upward surge of mankind.

And greed -- you mark my words -- will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."
Gordon Gekko

START STOCKPILING AMMUNITION AND DONG BAGS.

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RobOz
Advanced Member

7958 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  07:33:14 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by shilowar

Heroin and meth are everywhere....10 years ago it was rare that we arrested folks for it, now we are arresting them daily. We are running out of room in our evidence vault due to the number of pending cases. Heroin is becoming so common place now that first time arrestees are being released on unsecure bonds. It's ridiculous.



When the paper lists the drug court cases the sentence is usually Probation Without Verdict. First time offenders???
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us55840
Advanced Member

USA
30819 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  07:39:07 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
It's been said: Life is tough ~ and it's even tougher when you are stupid. Your nephew has been stupid IMO.

Also, you cannot help those who refuse to help themselves.

Life is full of choices, some choose poorly.

Sad affair.

The government has no rights. Only the PEOPLE have rights that empower the government.

This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it.
Abraham Lincoln

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It is they way it is. The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference.

All comments posted here are my opinion as expressed via the 1st Amendment of the US Constitution.

United States Army ~ 1966-1968 USARSUPTHAI 1967-1968
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B&G Clinger
Senior Member

USA
1670 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  07:46:22 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by iceracerx
[br

]There but for the grace of God go I.





Same goes for me double! Not everyone will be willing to admit it.

Horrible and all too common story. As usual the GB forums has lots of sound advice. I have been extremely fortunate, because I have been able to avoid those problems in my life and the lives of those closest to me. We have had our share of other problems, but we have not had to fight drug addiction.
I have seen first hand many times what it does to people\families as we run on them all the time in our community and I have personally pushed Narcan and performed Rescue breathing for people who are circling the drain or gone.
He can beat it, but it seems as if its an incredible amount of work and commitment to beat it. He is not going to beat it with anything less than 100% effort.
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john carr
Senior Member

1518 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  07:49:13 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Only bright spot in the story is about the wife cutting him loose. He sure didn't lose much there.
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allen griggs
Advanced Member

USA
31891 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  09:16:59 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am sick of junkies.
My best friend came back from the war, in 1970, hooked on heroin.
Greg had been a state champion wrestler in high school, and a straight A student.
And there he was a few years later, a junkie. I just got the hell away from him I figured he would be dead in a short time.
No, ten years later, Greg was working construction with my brother.
And, my brother told me that Greg would go to his apartment for lunch, and guzzle a fifth of Vodka at lunch. Couldn't make it back for the afternoon work, needless to say. So after several months, my brother had to get away from this self destructive guy.

It doesn't matter to the junkie, heroin, or vodka, they will find something to get wasted on, and they don't care who they hurt or take advantage of.

Years after that, around 1995, one of my best friends had graduated with honors from Emory Law School. Marc was a swinging batchelor in Atlanta, riding down Peachtree Road on Friday with a stacked brunette in the Porsche, with the top down, and on Saturday he could be seen with a blonde, in his Rolls Royce. Was making about $500K a year.
And Marc got on the coke at about age 40! Made enough money to buy all the coke he could snort. Got caught at work, they loved him and offered to send him to the Betty Ford, he refused, we tried to do an intervention to get him to a clinic, he refused, he got fired, got his cars and condo reposessed, and was homeless at age 50!

Unreal how he destroyed his life. And, couldn't afford the coke anymore, so he, like Greg, got onto the Stolichnaya. Coke, heroin, vodka, it is all the same for the junkie, he just needs something to get stoned on.

Marc finally had a stroke and died a few years at a rehab center in west Georgia.

No, I have no use for a junkie having seen two of my best friends destroy themselves, and not caring who they hurt or took advantage of while they were doing it.

And don't give me this crap about it is a "disease." Cancer is a disease, Lou Gherig ailment is a disease, being a junkie is a lifestyle choice and a sign of a terrible character flaw.
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bpost
Advanced Member

Azerbaijan
37448 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  1:40:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by john carr

Only bright spot in the story is about the wife cutting him loose. He sure didn't lose much there.



She just left the Army after 12 years; they were just married last September. I understand it was the hiding and lying that tipped the scale into a divorce for her.

I am a practicing Curmudgeon, someone that hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so.



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Mr. Perfect
Advanced Member

50746 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  2:05:01 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Prayers for you and your nephew and family, Bruce.

"When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in peace." -Jesus

"Also he [David] bade them teach the children of Judah [the use of] the bow" -Samuel

"An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." -Col. Jeff Cooper

"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin

Some will die in hot pursuit and fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain

G1
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Ford 23
Advanced Member

2683 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  3:09:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Didn't they say someone on drugs had "Monkey on his back" years back

Not sure of the correct words, amazing/interesting, that a drug takes such a hold on a person to a point of destroying marriages along with destroying their life. Will resort to being a thief, lair, homeless become a low life and prior to the drug taking hold in many many cases was a fine upstanding human being

I'm sure many who early on started taking drugs knew it was a bad choice and some before it destroyed their life got away from them. But others could not discipline themselves to a point of stopping.

Beyond my comprehension how this happens to those you would never think would go the route of dedicated self destruction as some do. But it does cross ones mind would you self destruct if circumstances were such at a given time that it could happen to you
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gruntled
Advanced Member

10405 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  5:23:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The rehab thing is non-sense. Tens of thousands of INSURANCE money down the toilet. If they live long enough & really want to quit they will, otherwise it's a waste.
I really hate it when they talk about drug use being a "victimless" crime. Think of all the people who are killed because of the drug trade & all the cost to society both here & in other countries.
If you use drugs you are responsible for all of that.
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spasmcreek
Advanced Member

33779 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  6:39:16 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
a big part of the problem as with other crimes is the FAILURE of the legal system to get extra tough
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ruger41
Advanced Member

USA
11732 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2018 :  10:15:49 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have only been in my new career 6 months at a Detox facility and a rehab center. This meth and heroin epidemic is only getting worse by the day. The drug dealers are adding fentanyl which causes tons of overdoses and death. And make no mistake not all junkies are homeless or criminals on the street. We see A LOT of people who are your neighbors with regular jobs. But once they hit a certain point itís over. Thereís no coming back if they canít beat meth in the first year or so of being on it. We see the same people over and over. And meth changes your brain in a way that you will do anything to get it...Iíve seen it make straight men turn happy to get money and or drugs. Meth is this generations crack(and we barely see that anymore).
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serf
Anti Gun Lib

6651 Posts

Posted - 04/18/2018 :  12:15:58 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


We need to shut down the border and keep drugs from coming in our country would be a good start. But we would be label as racist as they give the country away to the foreigner nationals. It's all a conspiracy to strip American of their rights in my opinion by the shadow government.

serf
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dfletcher
Advanced Member

USA
7670 Posts

Posted - 04/18/2018 :  01:34:33 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by bpost

My nephew had a drug issue when he was a late teen, early 20's. He got clean, worked his ass off and moved up in a company installing cell towers.

He is 30 now; just got married in September to a beautiful lady with two daughters. He had amazing growth in his job, in management, making excellent money, company truck and awesome benefits including lots of vacation and health insurance.

On a tip from some unknown person a company administrator found needles and other signs of drug use in his company truck. He was fired on the spot. He lied to his wife and said he quit.

I don't want to bury my nephew but only the druggie can get the help they need to get clean. If he chooses to stay a druggie the outcome is known by all.

His wife is threw him out of the house they just bought; she is divorcing him, he will loose the duplex he bought before he got married because he is a druggie. His truck has one more payment that his mommy will pay. The bottom is close, I hope Eric makes the choice to seek God's guiding hand towards a clean life. I really don't want to attend his funeral services...

My heart is broken, I love this young man but know I can do absolutely nothing for him. The ball is in his court, his lifestyle is a choice, he has thrown it all away to be a druggie. What a dumbass.



I'll wager there are a few folks here who have some practical experience, I'll relate mine. Maybe something in it will help.

I never touched a drug until I was over 30 yrs old. Don't know whether that's bad or good - a teen usually has to answer to Mom & Dad, and being dependent may be more amenable to help. A 30 yr old, well they can do much as they please and fall as far as they can with no one giving a care. The offset might be the +30 yr old ought to have more sense than the 18 yr old, the drugs do much to obliterate that though.

I did meth and E from about 1989 up to about 1995. Pretty much all of it in LA and San Diego. Did so much of it (about a 1/4 gram of "ice" every night IIRC) that the people I hung with thought I did it all the time, when in truth I did it Fri to Sun only and never missed a day of work. But I got so loaded on weekends that when someone gave me coke to freebase it no effect on me.

I think three things are important -

There's a ritual to doing drugs. I'd wake up on a Fri night after a nap, get my stash together (usually while watching "COPS" oddly enough) then meet up in LA or drive down to San Diego.

Then there's the folks one hangs out with - fellow users, pushers, hangers on, enablers.

Then there's where on is in using. Still having fun, maintaining, or trying not to feel like crap. The line "you do drugs to feel good, you keep using them to not feel bad" is true to the core.

If he's still having fun, hanging out with users and has someone enabling him he's got a rough road ahead of him. Mom paying off the truck should allow him to score big time when he sells it for product BTW - she may get you to his funeral real soon.

If you can break his routine, that may help.

If he can separate from users, sellers, etc that's the big step. That's best accomplished when he's either on the cusp of going back or been hit with bad news, or when he's at rock bottom. Problem is, you're probably not going to be around when that happens and you can't begin to imagine just how bad and vile his rock bottom can be. Stealing, dealing, hustling - whatever you think he'd never do I guarantee he's capable of it.

If you let him know you'll always help him when he's ready to come clean - no matter how bad he's been, how far he's fallen, how long it's been. Without judgement. But that you'll never help him get drugs, only that you'll help him get clean, that's a heck of a thing to do. Because everyone who uses has that moment of "I have to stop" and wants to get help, they just don't want to go back to someone they know to get help.

I quit by virtue of selling my company and moving from LA. It just happened to happen when I was hitting the "I gotta stop" period and as it happened, my long time LA dealer got busted in the Rick James drama.

So, you can help him. But it's a long shot, and you never real know when the opportunity will come. Make sure he knows you always love him and will help.


dsf

Edited by - dfletcher on 04/18/2018 01:41:40 AM
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bundy
New Member

USA
85 Posts

Posted - 04/18/2018 :  03:21:51 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Portugal had a war on drugs and it also failed so they tried something else and their problem improved drastically, attached is a link to an article that is very enlightening.

http://www.yesmagazine.org/peace-justice/portugal-cut-drug-addiction-rates-in-half-by-connecting-users-with-communities

I also think the most important thing we could do is to stop the first time users by pointing out how morally wrong it is to support the illegal use of drugs by showing the actual pictures of what the drug dealers in countries like Mexico do. Show bodies with heads cutoff and all the other mutilations they do. Make an effort to get people to realize that the illegal drug trade is corrupting the governments and law enforcement in these countries and it's the drug users fault.

Perhaps instead of our schools having posters with "Just say NO", they should have posters saying "Doing drugs means you support crimes like these" with actual photos of piles of mutilated bodies that drug cartels have killed to reinforce the message.
If I got on this forum or Facebook and started using the "N" word describing blacks or any other negative terms to describe people of other races, religions or whatever, I would be banned for life from any forum I posted on and would probably be getting death threats but people buying illegal drugs aren't just hurting themselves but are supporting criminals that murder and do actual physical harm to men, women and children in this country and abroad and people need to have this bit of stark reality thrown in their face.


<BR>
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mjrfd99
Advanced Member

USA
2701 Posts

Posted - 04/18/2018 :  05:19:25 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Dealers deal death.
Give 'em the same.
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