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22 Ways to be a Good Democrat

instrumentofwarinstrumentofwar Member Posts: 1,545 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited February 2006 in General Discussion
1 You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2 You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3 You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4 You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5 You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6 You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7 You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8 You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9 You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but urban activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10 You have to believe that having self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11 You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

12 You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13 You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14 You have to believe that Margaret * and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15 You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16 You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17 You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18 You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19 You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and * should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20 You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21 You have to believe that John Kerry's Purple Hearts are legitimate, and that a Massachusetts Senator more liberal than Teddy Kennedy can be elected President of the United States.

22 You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

Comments

  • instrumentofwarinstrumentofwar Member Posts: 1,545 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

    THIS ISN'T TOO HARD

    IT'S SO EASY EVEN A CAVE MAN COULD DO IT....

    1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
    demand.

    2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
    create prosperity.

    3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
    are more of a threat than Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
    Chinese and North Korean communists.

    4 You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

    5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
    cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
    Soccer moms driving SUV's.

    6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
    homosexual is natural.

    7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
    Federal Funding.

    8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth
    graders how to read, is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
    about sex.

    9 You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
    activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
    doing something to earn it.

    11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
    money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
    parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it is against
    certain parts of the Constitution.

    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
    high.

    14. You have to believe that Margaret * and Gloria Steinem are more
    important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison.

    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
    quotas and set-asides are not.

    16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
    nice person.

    17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked any
    where it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
    charge.

    18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,
    but a liar and a sex offender belongs in the White House.

    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
    transvestites, and * should be constitutionally protected, and
    Manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

    20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the
    Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.


    21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, Right
    Wing Conspiracy.

    22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day
    off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

    Ready to vote?
  • instrumentofwarinstrumentofwar Member Posts: 1,545 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    oops, never saw it
  • CaptplaidCaptplaid Member Posts: 20,201 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I blame it on Karl Rove's transmissions over the radio waves from Dick Cheney's undisclosed location. Try the aluminum helmet. It helps keep Karl Rove and the Vast Right WIng Conspiracy out of your head.
  • zipperzapzipperzap Member Posts: 25,057
    edited November -1
    Nope - never seen it, either.
    Keep'em coming - when it
    comes to Dems ... ya just
    gotta laugh![:D][:D][:D]
    BEST1.jpg
  • macabestmacabest Member Posts: 104 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Good stuff.. sure makes them seem silly.
    You also have to believe that any problem can be solved if you throw enough money at it. Example: poverty and education.
    Marc [8D]
  • RocklobsterRocklobster Member Posts: 7,060
    edited November -1
    quote:Good stuff.. sure makes them seem silly.
    You also have to believe that any problem can be solved if you throw enough money at it. Example: poverty and education.
    Marc
    That's true, I guess, but they really don't need any help. They do an admirable job of looking silly by themselves.
  • beachmaster73beachmaster73 Member Posts: 3,103
    edited November -1
    The truth is a harsh judge....it may not be pleasant to accept but the truth is still the truth. You scored an X-Ring with this one instrument of war.[^][^][^]Beach
  • bondaibondai Member Posts: 1,239 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by badwrench
    No worries. Nothing personal, I've just had a lot to drink tonight (my friday)


    Now there's a surprise....
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