So anyway....

One Tall Mama

A guy walks into a bar..............








[:D]

juju

and, and? go on, I dont think I heard this one[;)]

JuJu(apologizing to OTM for being a bit "fiesty today)

shooter4

Yeah?? so he walks into a bar??????????????


Then what??????????????

One Tall Mama

A guy goes into a classy bar. This bar has a dress code, and the maitre d' demands he wear a tie. Discouraged, the guy goes to his car to sulk when inspiration strikes: He's got jumper cables in the trunk! So he wraps them around his neck, sort of like a string tie and returns to the bar....The maitre d' is reluctant, but says to the guy; "Okay, you can come in... but just don't start anything"!....


[:0]

juju

OOOOOOHHH, thats bad[;)]

[:D]

But appropriate tonight, dontcha think[:)]

JuJu (still apologizing to OTM)

One Tall Mama

No need to apologize JuJu...

And that one was bad... I should be aplogizing for that... HEHEHE

He Dog

A black and white bear walks into a bar. Sits down and orders a steak dinner. After eating, he pulls a gun, shoots the guy next to him and starts for the door. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't shoot a guy and just walk out, you gotta at least pay!" Bears says: "I am a panda, get a clue." Bartendder pulls out his handy encyclopedia and looks up panda. He reads; "Black and white bear from China. Eats shoots and leaves."

My heros have always killed cowboys.

shooter4

Oh man, not good [:0]

How come I can't see your pics? I even downloaded them and I still can't see them?????????????/

spiny

[:D][:D][:D][:D]

spiny
'not all who wander are lost'

juju

OH MAN, Saxon, thats one of those dont try this at home things.

JuJu (LOL)

Supreme One

Hello, a bear goes into a bar, sits down and says, "I would like a tall......................glass of beer." The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

Or PAWS, lol.

Michael

Paranoid keeps you alive, worry just gives you stomach problems.

- .- -.- . / -- -.-- / .- -.. ...- .. ... . --..-- / .. .----. -- / -. --- - / ..- ... .. -. --. / .. - / .- -. -.-- .-- .- -.-- .-.-.-

Politics- From the words poly, meaning many, and tics, which are just little blood suckers.

.-.. .. ..-. . / .. ... / .- / ... . -..- ..- .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / - .-. .- -. ... -- .. - - . -.. / -.. .. ... . .- ... . .-.-.-

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
sound

4wheeler

Y`all are certainly full of it tonight[:D][:D]

BoltactionMan

A drunk staggers into a bar, falls down the steps, gets up makes his way to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender say "No way, you had enough already" So the drunk staggers out.

5 minutes later the door opens, the drunk staggers down the steps, knocks over a table, weaves up to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "NO, go home, you've had enough". The drunk staggers out.

10 minutes later the door opens, the drunk falls down the steps, knocks over a table, crawls to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender is getting mad and he yells "FOR THE LAST TIME, GO HOME. I WILL NOT SERVE YOU A DRINK, YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH".

The drunk squints up at him and say "Damn, how many bars you work at anyway?"

KC

One Tall Mama

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play. A guy walks up with a guitar and sits it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50. A third guy walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look. "Ha!" the man says. "Can't you play it?" The octopus looks up at the man and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off." [:0]

hehehehehe

~Jana

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

BOBBYWINS

OOOOOHHH!! That's good.[:p][:p][:p]

IT'S WHAT PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THEMSELVES THAT MAKES THEM AFRAID.

Night Stalker

Never heard that before OTM, thanks[:D]. Certainly a good one[;)].

NSDQ!

"Nobody dislikes war more than warriors, but we value the causes of peace so highly that we will not duck a war in an effort to get a lasting peace." -General Daniel "Chappie" James

ndbilly

Dog walks into a bar. Stands up and says to the bartender, "Give me a drink." Bartender says, "We don't serve dogs here. G'wan, beat it!" Dog leaves, comes back in about fifteen minutes, same routine. Dog comes back a third time and now the bartender is really mad. Orders the dog out for a third time. Persistent pooch comes back again and the bartender pulls out a revolver and shoots the dog in the foot.

Two weeks later the doors to the saloon swing open and here walks the dog, black cowboy hat, black vest, gunslinger's rig on his hip. Walks up to the bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." Ba da boomp.

BlueTic

Good one Ndbilly
Old prospector rides into town and heads for the saloon. Goes to the bar and orders a shot. He looks down the bar and there is this pot of gold nuggets, a sign and a donkey next to it. He walks over and reads the sign "Win this pot of gold - If you can make the Donkey laugh"... The old prospector asks the barkeep - "Is this true?" The Barkeep nods and shakes his head with a smile.
The Prospector leans over to the Donkeys ear and whispers - The Donkey breaks out laughin and kickin and breying. The prospector grabs the pot of Gold, winks at the barkeep and walks out....
6 months later the old prospector comes into town for supplies. He walks into the saloon and orders a shot. Looks down the bar and sees the Donkey, a pot of gold, and a sign that says "Win this pot of Gold - If you can make the Donkey CRY". The old prospector asks the barkeep - "can I take your donkey in the supply room for a second?" The barkeep says "Well - as long as you don't harm him in anyway".
They go back into the supply room and come out in a few seconds - the donkey is just crying up a storm.. The prospector grabs the pot of gold and heads for the door. The Barkeep says "Whoa - hold on - I got to know how you made my donkey laugh - and then make him cry".
The Prospector says "To make him laugh - I whispered, mine is bigger'n yours......... To make him cry - I showed him!!!"

IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY RIGHTS - GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY (this includes politicians)

Supreme One

Hello, a ham sandwich walk into a bar, goes up to the bartender and says, "Do you serve food here?" The bartender says, "No."

Michael

Paranoid keeps you alive, worry just gives you stomach problems.

- .- -.- . / -- -.-- / .- -.. ...- .. ... . --..-- / .. .----. -- / -. --- - / ..- ... .. -. --. / .. - / .- -. -.-- .-- .- -.-- .-.-.-

Politics- From the words poly, meaning many, and tics, which are just little blood suckers.

.-.. .. ..-. . / .. ... / .- / ... . -..- ..- .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / - .-. .- -. ... -- .. - - . -.. / -.. .. ... . .- ... . .-.-.-

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
sound

He Dog

Three strings walk into a bar, find a booth, and one of them goes to the bar to order drinks. The bartender looks at him and say, "Sorry, I don't wish to be rude, but we do not serve strings here." The string goes back to the table and explains where there are no drinks. The second string says, "let me handle this." and he goes to the bar. Before he can order, the bartender says, "look, I told your friend we don't serve strings here, nothing has changed in the last two minutes." He goes back to the table mad, but with no drinks. The third string ties his hair and frizzes it out and goes to the bar. The bartender says, "Aren't you one of those strings?" "No," he replies, "I' a frayed knot."

My heros have always killed cowboys.