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Q&A (Joke)
HAIRY
Member Posts: 23,606
Douglas was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, 'If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?'
Douglas replied, 'I would get in my helicopter and fly away!'
The doctor then asked, 'Where did you get a helicopter from?'
Douglas replied, 'The same place you got that train!'
Douglas replied, 'I would get in my helicopter and fly away!'
The doctor then asked, 'Where did you get a helicopter from?'
Douglas replied, 'The same place you got that train!'
Comments
**Pick Up**
"Hello?"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank"
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Frank"
"Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"
***Brief Pause***
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"
"Okay Daddy, just a minute"
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy"
"And what happened honey? " he asked
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all! "
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank? "
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it,he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?? . . . Is this 555-7039? [:o)][:o)]
volenti non fit injuria
A-You can drop her off anywhere.
Q-What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A-Outlaws are wanted.
Q-What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with?
A-Whatever she wants. He's sleeping.
Q-Where does virgin wool come from?
A-Ugly sheep.
Q-How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony?
A-It isn't hard.
Q-How can you annoy your husband while making love?
A-Call him from your cell phone.
Q-What does the bride of a Polish man get that's long and hard on her
wedding night?
A-His last name.
Q-What's the down side to a threesome?
A-You could disappoint two women instead of just one.
Q-How do you know you're really ugly?
A-Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg.
Q-Why are hurricanes named after women?
A-Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car. [:o)][:o)]
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." Ambrose Bierce
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Ben
The gene pool needs chlorine.