.

A friendship dillema, What do I do?

woodsrunnerwoodsrunner Member Posts: 5,777
edited November 2003 in General Discussion
O.K. folks, How would you handle this situation? My wits end is approaching fast.

I have a friend I've known since 1984. He's a pretty good guy, but, a situation is developing in our friendship. This guy never got along with his mom, so when I bought the house he asked if he could rent or trade for the use of a portion of my barn. Fine at that point I had a bad knee and the doctor had forbidden the use of ladders. So rather than ask for money which I knew he didn't have, I told him he could come down and give me a days work a month. He's a pretty good electrician and well versed in building maintenance. Well from the start there were suggestions of tearing off the aluminum siding and painting the old wood. I said no because it's worth more to the next owner with aluminum or vinyl siding on it. The he wants to tear the unused chimney down. If I did I would have to find the correct color siding with the correct ammount of fading to cover the space up, so I said no. The chimney is sound and isn't about to fall, so I ain't fixing what ain't broke. Well as a result of my saying no to all his ideas on how I spend my money I hardly ever see the guy and then it's only to hear him complain about his wife. Now I'm not collecting any rent from the guy and I'm not getting any work out of him. I spent an hour today in freezing weather fixing a leaky flashing with cement that isn't going to bond because it's too cold. He was asked to fix this 4 months ago. I've got a facia board that fell in a windstorm 2 yrs ago, I haven't been able to get him to help fix it in all that time. Why? Because it butts against the chimney he feels should be torn down. Well the front of my house looks like hell because of it. Now all this up to this point I could live around, believe it or not. I'm not using that part of the barn. I can fix all but the facia myself because that's a 2 man job. Here's the part that's really getting me pi$$ed off. In march of 2002 he asked if he could park his car here long enough for him to get the new tires and exaust system off of it. He had just bought a truck but the parts would work on his wifes car, which was the same thing. I was smart enough to ask him how long it would be and he answered 2 weeks. Well this car is still in my driveway. His wife no longer has another car like it. I've been hounding him for months. He was on vacation all last week and promised to get it out. It's still there. His grandmother was in the hospital. Every time I ask this guy to get the car out or help fix something, he comes up with an excuse. I have a nieghbor complaining rightfully so. And if she complains to the villiage I'm gonna get nailed with a $100.00 fine for having an unregistered vehicle on my property.

All I know is he had five days counting saturday to have the junkyard come get it. He couldn't be at grandma's side 24/7, and every time I called his apartment he was "just getting ready to leave to go see grandma".

How in the world am I going to end this?? I'd call the junkyard myself, but it's locked I don't have keys or a title.

Woods

It's better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.

Comments

  • dcon12dcon12 Member Posts: 30,791 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    A friend is a friend for life. You however do not have a friend. Have the vehicle towed or haul it off yourself. Do not allow this person on your property again. EASIER SAID THAN DONE. BUT I AM NOT DOING BUT ONLY SAYING

    "Right is Right, even is everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it"
  • robsgunsrobsguns Member Posts: 5,031
    edited November -1
    He's no friend, not by my definition, stop treating him like one, and do unto him as he's done unto you, (screwed). Problem solved. Its called tough love by some, but I call it fair. Got a truck? Tell him to get it out of your driveway, and when he's going to do it, or you'll pull it into the street, regardless of damage incurred to the vehicle. Got another buddy? Have him help you fix the stuff you need fixed, and tell your old buddy your relationship as friends is done, any deals you had are off, dont come back. With one friend like that you dont need any enemies. Sorry to hear of your problem. I'd help if I could, but I'm kinda far from you.

    Ryan
  • DancesWithSheepDancesWithSheep Member Posts: 13,043
    edited November -1
    Call and thank him for finally picking up his car, and that if you had known he was coming by, you would have been home to help him.[}:)]
  • Horse Plains DrifterHorse Plains Drifter Member Posts: 35,495 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Contact your sheriff or police. Tell them you have an abandoned vehicle on your property. They will have it towed, and they don't need keys or a title.[:D] I have learned my lesson with "friends" wanting to park cars on my property. Just had a junk man remove about six cars that wren't mine. If anyone asks to park a car on my place anymore, they will have to give me a signed and released title and $200.00. That way I can get rid of it when I get tired of it setting around.

    81st FA BN WWII...Thanks Dad
    U!S!A! ALL THE WAY!!
  • offerorofferor Member Posts: 9,168
    edited November -1
    I knew where this was going in the first two sentences. Your friend is using you, and has gotten very comfortable, TOO comfortable, in your free digs. You need to get him and his car off your property. You can do it now, or you can wait a few more years until it REALLY bothers you. Trust me on this one. [8D]

    T. Jefferson: "[When doing Constitutional interpretation], let us [go] back to the time when [it] was adopted. [Rather than] invent a meaning [let us] conform to the probable one in which it was passed."

    lifepatch.giffortbutton2.gif
  • Colt SuperColt Super Member Posts: 31,007
    edited November -1
    Not a friend. Call the cops and have the abandoned car towed off.

    God Bless America and...
    NEVER Forget WACO
    NEVER, EVER Forget 911
  • Colt SuperColt Super Member Posts: 31,007
    edited November -1
    Not a friend. Call the cops and have the abandoned car towed off.

    God Bless America and...
    NEVER Forget WACO
    NEVER, EVER Forget 911
  • beantolebeantole Member Posts: 1,086 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    WoodsRunner: Everyone here is right ..........this guy is not your friend and the more you take his crap the angrier you will become at yourself!! It could even affect your relationship with other people and your family. Get rid of the car and write off the "friendship." It will hurt in the very short term but you'll feel fine in a few days.

    Bruce
  • Rebel_JamesRebel_James Member Posts: 4,746
    edited November -1
    In most jurisdictions, LE can't tow vehicles off private property. But the land owner can. Call your favorite towing service and have them tow the car off. It will then be the towing service's responsibility to legally notify your 'friend' they have possession of the car.

    By the way, he isn't your friend. Friends don't treat each other like he does. He's a user, leech, maggott..etc.

    "If they won't give us good terms, come back and we'll fight it out."
    -- Gen. James Longstreet
  • whiteclouderwhiteclouder Member Posts: 10,797
    edited November -1
    Hate to say it, but he was never a friend. Friends use friends, but they don't abuse them.

    Clouder..
  • Spring CreekSpring Creek Member Posts: 1,260 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The old saying:
    "With Friends like this you don't need enemies", comes to mind.
  • pickenuppickenup Member, Moderator Posts: 22,350 ******
    edited November -1
    There was a car parked in my drive for a while. It did not run and the owner had since purchased another vehicle. I told the owner that he had ?? days to remove the car or I would have it hauled off. The deadline came and went. I had the car hauled off by a private tow truck.

    Oh by the way, the guy that owned the car.......was my SON.

    Friends?? would not get away with it at all.

    Friends come by to just say hi, shoot the breeze, and offer help.
    Acquaintances come by, when they WANT something.


    The gene pool needs chlorine.
  • woodsrunnerwoodsrunner Member Posts: 5,777
    edited November -1
    Thanks for the input. I had this instinct when I first posted. To be honest, it's not so much his friendship I worry about. It's a small town and we have alot of mutual friends. But as I sit here thinking about it. It seems many of those mutual friends aren't having much to do with him lately.

    Woods

    It's better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.
  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000
    edited November -1
    I'm not good at this stuff, so I take the direct approach.

    I would tell him, "this is what I need you to do, and this is when I need you to do it per our agreement."

    If he didn't do it, I would tell him, "I need you to get you stuff out so I can make a new agreement with someone who will follow through."

    No extra talk, no anger, just straight forward talk. I find it works best.

    How you doin'!wolf_evil_smile_md_wht.gif
  • k.stanonikk.stanonik Member Posts: 2,170 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Woods, this isnt a friend yo uare dealin with, he wants things his way or the highway. I would call him one more time and just tell him straight out that you X number of days to remove the stuff from your place or you will have it removed for him, he sounds like the type that people have been cleanin up after him for so long that he figures someone will still do it for him, he needs to gain a little responsibility and grow up.
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