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Teacher, Thief & Lawyer (Joke Sent by Lawyer)

HAIRYHAIRY Member Posts: 23,606
edited May 2004 in General Discussion
A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident.

So when they reach the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for admission.

The teacher is first, so St. Peter asks, "Name the famous ship that was sunk by an iceberg."

"Phew, that one's easy," says the teacher, "the Titanic."

"Alright," says St. Peter, "you may pass."

Then the thief gets his question: "How many died on the Titanic?"

The thief replies, "That's a toughie, but fortunately I just saw the movie. The answer is 1,500 people." And so he passed through.

Finally, St. Peter gives the lawyer his question: "Name them."[;)]




There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

Comments

  • oldgunneroldgunner Member Posts: 2,466 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    St. Peter takes a newly arrived lawyer on a tour of heaven..
    "This is where Louis Pastuer lives, next up the street is Dr. Sabin..Over to your left, no, on the corner there..That's where Hippocrates hangs his hat these days." Now up there..way up high, on that hill, mansion with the tennis courts, firing range, and swimming pool. It also has the servant's housing in the back there..That's your new home!"
    Lawyer looks around, nothing he has seen seems all that spectacular, except for his own magestic manor. All the other houses are small, maybe two bedrooms and a screened in porch like ole Billy Bob had at home in Georgia..
    "St. Pete," our confused barrister asks,"Who do all these great doctors live like this, and I get such an overwhelming mansion?"
    St. Peter answers," Son, we have zillions of doctors here in heaven, but praise the Lord..You're our first lawyer."


    There are no bad guns, only bad people.
  • temblortemblor Member Posts: 2,153 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
  • LABWILDLABWILD Member Posts: 506 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

    A: A Doberman.
  • plains scoutplains scout Member Posts: 4,563
    edited November -1
    Find me some new ones. I have heard them all.

    "A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I
    advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives
    boldness, enterprise, and independence to the mind. Games played with the
    ball and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no
    character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be the constant companion of
    your walks." Thomas Jefferson
  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Apparently nobody here has ever had to enlist the assistance of an attorney. Why is it that the NYU and Columbia U attorneys always get all the press?
  • oldgunneroldgunner Member Posts: 2,466 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    No insult intended Idsman. My daughter is a lawyer, and a pretty good source of lawyer jokes.

    There are no bad guns, only bad people.
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