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Feel better about your computer skills..

kissgoodnightkissgoodnight Member Posts: 4,064 ✭✭✭
edited September 2013 in General Discussion
This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

*Tech support: ****What kind of computer do you have?*
*Customer: A white one...*
*Tech support: * Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the
left of the screen.
*Customer: * Your left or my left?

******************************
*Customer: * Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't
print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've
even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says he can't find it..

******************************
*Tech support: * What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
*Customer: * A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

******************************
*Customer: * My keyboard is not working anymore.
*Tech support: * Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
*Customer: * No. I can't get behind the computer.
*Tech support: * Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
*Customer: *! OK
*Tech**support: * Did the keyboard come with you?
*Customer:* Yes
*Tech**support: * That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

******************************
*Customer: * I can't get on the Internet.
*Tech support: *Are you sure you used the right password?
*Customer: * Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
*Tech support: * Can you tell me what the password was?
*Customer: * Five dots.

******************************
*Tech support: * What anti-virus program do you use?
*Customer: * Netscape.
*Tech support: * That's not an anti-virus program.
*Customer: * Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..

******************************
*Customer: * I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
disappears.
******************************
*Tech support: * How may I help you?
*Customer: * I'm writing my first email.
*Tech support: * OK, and what seems to be the problem?
*Customer: * Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but
how do I get the little circle around it?

******************************
*This one and the next**are our personal favorites!*

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer.
*Tech support: * Are you running it under windows?
*Customer: * 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a
good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window, and his printer is working fine.'
******************************
*And last but not least!*
*Tech support: *'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle
of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program
Manager.'
*Customer: * I don't have a P.
*Tech support: * On your keyboard, Bob.
*Customer: * What do you mean?
*Tech support: * 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
*Customer: * I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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