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My dad passed away

scottm21166scottm21166 Member Posts: 20,723
edited December 2011 in General Discussion
My brother had the Sheriff call me after he died. He said he had been looking for me as dad was sick in the hospital several days before he passed.
Well I have face book, a google search quickly finds me, I have the same phone number I have always had.
My brother lives in my dads house. He has lived there his whole life.
My guess is, he didn't contact me because he didn't want dad to tell me where the treasures are buried and who is to get what. (I am the oldest of 4)
I don't think I can say how I feel about a guy who denies his brother last words with his father in order to protect his claim to the leftovers.
I don't know if I can forgive this insult.
What he doesn't know is dad told me, when he passed I was to sell his possesions and divide the proceeds among the other three of us. He said my David had gotten his share of the inheritance while he was alive ...How do I go about that without a will?
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Comments

  • rcrxmike_2rcrxmike_2 Member Posts: 3,275
    edited November -1
  • NeoBlackdogNeoBlackdog Member Posts: 12,589 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Condolences on your dad passing. You are in an unenviable position.
    Get yourself a good attorney.
  • perry shooterperry shooter Member Posts: 17,390
    edited November -1
    Sorry about your lost. But the road ahead is going to be much worst. It is too late now but without a will each Brother will have a different story.I promise you each and every one of you will feel cheated. If you can Walk Away NOW.
  • NOAHNOAH Member Posts: 9,690
    edited November -1
    sorry about your loss[:(]
    find out what your brothers ideas are and espicially the one living there.
    subtract the time he was there for the rent free living

    if you 4 do not agree , well a judge will do it for you[xx(]
  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 63,071 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Seen same thing with my sister.. talking about the money and the person isn't even in the ground yet. Sad.
  • rogue_robrogue_rob Member Posts: 7,522
    edited November -1
    No will? It will go into probate until all his bills are payed. Someone will have to be the executor of his estate and be court appointed. They will need a bond also to protect everyone's interest in his estate.

    sorry for your loss
  • scottm21166scottm21166 Member Posts: 20,723
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by perry shooter
    Sorry about your lost. But the road ahead is going to be much worst. It is too late now but without a will each Brother will have a different story.I promise you each and every one of you will feel cheated. If you can Walk Away NOW.

    I don't need anything from my father. I have not lived with him since I was 5 and put up for adoption (as were my other brother and sister) If I do not follow up with this I deny my father his wish to have david finally take care of himself. Then again, how do I do what he never could?
    I do feel cheated. Not out of my dads legacy but out of the chance to spend those last few days with him
  • nordnord Member Posts: 6,106
    edited November -1
    I have but two things to say here...

    The loss of a parent is the closing of a chapter in your life that can never be replaced nor re created. Every man or woman who lives long enough must suffer this loss and I'm truly sorry.

    To worry about your father's possessions in the same post causes me some concern. I don't discount the actions (or inactions) of your brother, but what does it really matter? And with no will the estate will go to the courts. Your duty to family and yourself is to take an accurate inventory of the estate. Make sure that nothing is stolen and that nothing comes up missing. Past verbal agreements usually hold little sway in these matters.
  • bojangies46bojangies46 Member Posts: 382 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry for your loss
  • jwb267jwb267 Member Posts: 19,537 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    sorry for your loss
  • woodshed87woodshed87 Member Posts: 25,785
    edited November -1
    Tough one for sure, Our Condolences Go out to You
    Woody & Dori'
  • scottm21166scottm21166 Member Posts: 20,723
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by select-fire
    Seen same thing with my sister.. talking about the money and the person isn't even in the ground yet. Sad.

    the money isn't the issue...there isn't any that I know of. I am pissed at my brother for not even calling me before he died and trying to figure out why anyone would do that.
    It figures that YOU would go there...[xx(]
  • USN_AirdaleUSN_Airdale Member Posts: 2,987
    edited November -1
    condolences.., GOD be with you.
  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 63,071 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by scottm21166
    quote:Originally posted by select-fire
    Seen same thing with my sister.. talking about the money and the person isn't even in the ground yet. Sad.

    the money isn't the issue...there isn't any that I know of. I am pissed at my brother for not even calling me before he died and trying to figure out why anyone would do that.
    It figures that YOU would go there...[xx(]


    I am sorry that your Dad passed, but you had better reread what you posted. Treasures in the backyard... It is about money in your posting. Bury your Father and then move on. Sounds like alot of hatred in the posting. Speaking of an inheritance and a Father's death in the same posting is wrong. Real wrong.
  • gearheaddadgearheaddad Member Posts: 15,125 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My condolences, Scott. Good luck........Ed
  • SGSG Member Posts: 7,548
    edited November -1
    My condolences.Sorry for your loss Scott.
  • ManygunsManyguns Member Posts: 3,837
    edited November -1
    quote:I have but two things to say here...

    The loss of a parent is the closing of a chapter in your life that can never be replaced nor re created. Every man or woman who lives long enough must suffer this loss and I'm truly sorry.

    To worry about your father's possessions in the same post causes me some concern. I don't discount the actions (or inactions) of your brother, but what does it really matter? And with no will the estate will go to the courts. Your duty to family and yourself is to take an accurate inventory of the estate. Make sure that nothing is stolen and that nothing comes up missing. Past verbal agreements usually hold little sway in these matters.
    Wise words from Nord. I can add no more. but I can send a prayer for you, which I did.
    Tom
  • USN_AirdaleUSN_Airdale Member Posts: 2,987
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by scottm21166

    I don't know if I can forgive this insult.
    What he doesn't know is dad told me, when he passed I was to sell his possesions and divide the proceeds among the other three of us. He said my David had gotten his share of the inheritance while he was alive ...How do I go about that without a will?

    are you certain there is no will ? what your Dad told you isn't worth a damn, when my Dad was alive, in good health and sound mind, he told me and my wife that if there is anything in this house you want, put your name on some masking tape, date it, i'll sign it and put the tape under the object, we did this with several chairs my Grandfather made, dresser i had as a kid, a cedar chest i made for my Mother in school shop class, gave it to her on Mothers day 1955ad, after Dad died, buried, an auction was held, i told his lawyer about the tape thing, he said, "sorry, if the items were not in your possession prior to his death, you will have to buy them", i did. his oldest son (i will NEVER call him bruther (sic) and his wife raided Dads home when he first went into the hospital,took his tractor, riding lawn mower, his only two guns, Moms silver set etc.)

    as stated by others you need a good probate lawyer
  • bpostbpost Member Posts: 31,173 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Scott, I am sorry for your loss, I am sorry for the turmoil in your family over the loss. It is a time to grieve not a time to think about things that don't really help ease the pain. There will be plenty of time for those matters after a while.
  • Blade SlingerBlade Slinger Member Posts: 5,891
    edited November -1
    Sorry about your loss, bad time in life for sure, good luck with the bros.
  • dav1965dav1965 Member Posts: 26,544 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry for your loss. Hope things get better soon. I know it will take a while. God bless or best wishes. David
  • fastcarsgofastfastcarsgofast Member Posts: 7,179
    edited November -1
    Sorry to hear. Prayer sent.
  • asphalt cowboyasphalt cowboy Member Posts: 8,575 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You have my heartfelt condolences for your loss Scott. Prayers be with you and your family.

    As to your troubling matter.

    Sit down and have a heart to heart with your other siblings, the ones mature enough to live their own lives, and come to terms with what you should do. It may well be in the best interest of all to wash your hands of the problem.
    I seriousely doubt your father would want this issue with his last wishes to cause you such greif and anxiety. He would likely advise you as I and others before have.
  • lew07lew07 Member Posts: 1,093 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry for Your loss Scott.Be prepared for some ugly scenes.It is astounding how some people can behave where money is involved.On the plus side You will have a very good education in human behaviour over the coming months.
    My best wishes to You
  • savage170savage170 Member Posts: 36,545 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My condolences
  • Sav99Sav99 Member Posts: 16,036 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Very sorry for the loss of your father.
  • River RatRiver Rat Member Posts: 9,022
    edited November -1
    Scott, sorry about your dad. Sorry also that there are complications. My seggestion is that you connect with the other two siblings. If there's no will, then there's no will, and probate's gonna suck anyway.
  • gesshotsgesshots Member Posts: 14,293 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sincere condolences and prayers sent.

    R.I.P.

    The other stuff is going to be tricky. That kind of bad blood between brothers can last a life time........and then it's to late!
    Try not to let that happen.
    It's being willing. I found out early that most men, regardless of cause or need, aren't willing. They blink an eye or draw a breath before they pull the trigger. I won't. ~ J.B. Books
  • The artist formerly known as DanoThe artist formerly known as Dano Member Posts: 29,215
    edited November -1
    My condolences, and sorry about the family issues. [:(]
  • Alan RushingAlan Rushing Member Posts: 9,002 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry to hear of your father's passing away. That is the major and unchangeable lose.

    On stuff ... lossing out can hurt a bit, but what you do now ... that will set the pace from here on out.

    I just let it all be when my folks died. Some siblings wanted to fight or tell their versions of reality. For me I did not want to be the fool fighting for leftovers. It was probably easier for me, my folks had nothing worth fighting or sweating over in my opinion.

    You and your sibs don't socialize or converse much?

    Folks tend to play it the way they please. Good luck to you which ever way you decide to go.

    Again, condolences to you and your family and firends. Take care.
  • Wyatt EarpWyatt Earp Member Posts: 5,871
    edited November -1
    I don't agree that talking of your dad's passing and his treasures in the same post is wrong. Probably you've already dealt with the loss, now the other aspects need dealt with. It's part of the process.

    I'll face the same thing. The rumor among my family is that my dad has a lot of money. He doesn't. Other family members know that my dad made $75 to $100 million in business, but I'm the only one who has worked in the business wiht him for the last 32 years. I know the sad truth is that my dad has an easy-come-easy-go attitude about money - it's always been easy for him to make, so he always spent it as fast as he made it.

    I'll likely be left with nothing but bills. But again, my nephews and neices think he has millions and thus they've plotted to work their way into my dad's good graces now that he's 78 in hopes of getting the loot. That aggravates the hell out of me - one because I know there is nothing to get, and two because if there were loot, I'm the one who has put up with crap for 32 years.

    I am fully aware that upon my dad's and stepmom's passing, I may have to hire security to guard the physical possessions he has in order that it not be looted while I'm away burying my dad.
  • gary wraygary wray Member Posts: 4,663
    edited November -1
    Sorry to hear of your loss. I join the chorus in saying now is one of those times that you need a lawyer to protect your interests.
  • Waco WaltzWaco Waltz Member Posts: 10,821
    edited November -1
    Sorry to hear about your loss. That's some brother of yours! I say go about it with brute force if you have to. Damn....


    quote:Originally posted by scottm21166
    My brother had the Sheriff call me after he died. He said he had been looking for me as dad was sick in the hospital several days before he passed.
    Well I have face book, a google search quickly finds me, I have the same phone number I have always had.
    My brother lives in my dads house. He has lived there his whole life.
    My guess is, he didn't contact me because he didn't want dad to tell me where the treasures are buried and who is to get what. (I am the oldest of 4)
    I don't think I can say how I feel about a guy who denies his brother last words with his father in order to protect his claim to the leftovers.
    I don't know if I can forgive this insult.
    What he doesn't know is dad told me, when he passed I was to sell his possesions and divide the proceeds among the other three of us. He said my David had gotten his share of the inheritance while he was alive ...How do I go about that without a will?
  • shilowarshilowar Member Posts: 38,807 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I dread the day I lose my parents. Everytime I see their number on the caller ID or a siblings I wonder if this is the "call".


    In regards to inheritance...if your brother is in the house you gotta assume its all gonna be taken prior to you inventorying anything. If you truly don't care about the stuff, then cut it loose. I can appreciate you being pissed off at your bro, it's a shame your father didn't take the time to have a Will. My wife's father, a 30+ year owner/operator of a Funeral Home..didn't bother with a Will either and he left a mess for his family, a mess that continues 6 years after his death.

    I am sorry that you lost your Dad. I'll be coping with that someday too assuming I don't beat him to it.
  • OakieOakie Member Posts: 38,638 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry to hear of your great loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. John
  • LaegerLaeger Member Posts: 675 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry for your loss, seen the same thing happen to my dad after my grand parents passed. It's funny how people you haven't seen in twenty five plus years want money they have no right too.
  • StengunStengun Member Posts: 254 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Howdy

    quote:Originally posted by select-fire
    Originally posted by select-fire

    talking about the money and the person isn't even in the ground yet. Sad.


    I am sorry that your Dad passed, but you had better reread what you posted. Treasures in the backyard... It is about money in your posting. Bury your Father and then move on. Sounds like alot of hatred in the posting. Speaking of an inheritance and a Father's death in the same posting is wrong. Real wrong.
    [/quote]

    +1

    My Dad is 73 and I talk to him almost every day. Plus if i havent talked to him that day he calls every night at 9PM to let me know that he is OK.

    Sounds like you did not keep in touch with your dad and are more concerned that your brother will get more than you.

    I feel for your lose but you never once said anything about missing your dad or anything just that you brother would end up with his treasures instead of you.

    To Scott's Dad: RIP

    Paul
  • BoltactionManBoltactionMan Member Posts: 2,048 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My Condolences. I'm especially sorry for your missing those last words, that was stolen from you by someones selfishness.

    KC
  • SpokesSpokes Member Posts: 341 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I am very sorry to hear of your loss.
  • 1911a1-fan1911a1-fan Member Posts: 51,193 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    you have my sincere condolences
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