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The Phone Call
ATF
Member Posts: 11,683 ✭✭✭
Hello?
'Hi, sweetheart.
This is Dad.
Is Mummy near the phone?'
'No, Dad.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause,
Dad says,
'But sweetheart, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh, yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy, right now.'
Brief Pause.
'Uh, all right then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom
door and shout to Mummy that Dad's car just pulled onto the drive.'
'Okay, Dad, just a minute.'
A few minutes later The little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it, Dad.'
'And what happened, sweetheart?'
'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then, she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh, my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
Long Pause
Longer Pause
Even Longer Pause
Then Dad says, 'Swimming pool? ........ Is this 486- 5731?'
No,
I think you have the wrong number
[:D]
'Hi, sweetheart.
This is Dad.
Is Mummy near the phone?'
'No, Dad.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause,
Dad says,
'But sweetheart, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh, yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy, right now.'
Brief Pause.
'Uh, all right then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom
door and shout to Mummy that Dad's car just pulled onto the drive.'
'Okay, Dad, just a minute.'
A few minutes later The little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it, Dad.'
'And what happened, sweetheart?'
'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then, she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh, my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
Long Pause
Longer Pause
Even Longer Pause
Then Dad says, 'Swimming pool? ........ Is this 486- 5731?'
No,
I think you have the wrong number
[:D]
Comments
At dawn, the telephone rings.
"Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country
house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. "What did
he. die from?"
. "From eating rotten meat, Senor"
Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse?
What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the
water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
fire."
"What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the
candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor."
WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"
"Your wife's, Senor...She showed up one night out of the blue and I
thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ti ger Woods Nike
Driver."
SILENCE...................
"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep crap!"
[:D]
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
PLEASE, just tell me my DOG is safe!
...that's funny...
still funny, though.[:D]