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Tips on how to keep your woman happy..

mondmond Member Posts: 6,458
edited September 2006 in General Discussion
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45 give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget :
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Get kit off
2. Bring beer
[:D][:p][}:)]

Comments

  • 1911a1-fan1911a1-fan Member Posts: 51,193 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Tips on how to keep your woman happy..
    i find being hung like a mule works best
  • sig232sig232 Member Posts: 8,018
    edited November -1
    Retention is all about the "TONGUE"!
  • goldeneagle76goldeneagle76 Member Posts: 4,359
    edited November -1
    Everyone knows you cannot make a woman happy!!!
  • JamesRKJamesRK Member Posts: 25,672 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I forgot a birthday once. That's something you only do ONCE.
    The road to hell is paved with COMPROMISE.
  • FrancFFrancF Member, Moderator Posts: 35,278 ******
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by sig232
    Retention is all about the "TONGUE"!


    If not done often the world will come to and end as you know it.

    Unhappy wife Unhappy life.[:D]
  • goldeneagle76goldeneagle76 Member Posts: 4,359
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    I forgot a birthday once. That's something you only do ONCE.


    And you're still alive to tell us about it??? Impressive.
  • fishkiller41fishkiller41 Member Posts: 50,608
    edited November -1
    I'm goin with the "mule" theory.Because i don't do any of that other crapp...'cept for the toungin part[:p]
    Big crank + long tongue = HAPPY WIFE...

    Jeff
  • scottm21166scottm21166 Member Posts: 20,723
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by mond

    It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
    needs to be:

    1. a friend
    2. a companion
    3. a lover
    4. a brother
    5. a father
    6. a master
    7. a chef
    8. an electrician
    9. a carpenter
    10. a plumber
    11. a mechanic
    12. a decorator
    13. a stylist
    14. a sexologist
    15. a gynecologist
    16. a psychologist
    17. a pest exterminator
    18. a psychiatrist
    19. a healer
    20. a good listener
    21. an organizer
    22. a good father
    23. very clean
    24. sympathetic
    25. athletic
    26. warm
    27. attentive
    28. gallant
    29. intelligent
    30. funny
    31. creative
    32. tender
    33. strong
    34. understanding
    35. tolerant
    36. prudent
    37. ambitious
    38. capable
    39. courageous
    40. determined
    41. true
    42. dependable
    43. passionate
    44. compassionate

    WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

    45 give her compliments regularly
    46. love shopping
    47. be honest
    48. be very rich
    49. not stress her out
    50. not look at other girls
    AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

    51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
    52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

    IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

    54. Never to forget :
    * birthdays
    * anniversaries
    * arrangements she makes
    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

    1. Get kit off
    2. Bring coke, be naked
    [:D][:p][}:)]


    I missed on a few...but I can lick my eyebrows...does that help?
  • CutiegirlracingCutiegirlracing Member Posts: 2,595 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    I forgot a birthday once. That's something you only do ONCE.



    [:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0] Why is it that men can't remember Birthdays and Annversaries,
  • KSUmarksmanKSUmarksman Member Posts: 10,705 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Cutiegirlracing
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    I forgot a birthday once. That's something you only do ONCE.



    [:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0] Why is it that men can't remember Birthdays and Annversaries,


    too much RAM taken up with knowledge of cars, guns, and military history I guess [;)]
    Younger guys like me have things like facebook to remind us of important birthdays, the guy that programmed facebook is a God [:D]
  • JamesRKJamesRK Member Posts: 25,672 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Cutiegirlracing
    [:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0] Why is it that men can't remember Birthdays and Annversaries,

    I might forget my own birthday sometimes, but believe me, I'll never forget hers again. Why are birthdays and anniversaries so important to women? And why can't a woman ever admit she is angry. When my wife says something like "I'm not mad ... What makes you think I'm mad?" I know it's time to find something to do out back.
    The road to hell is paved with COMPROMISE.
  • spanielsellsspanielsells Member Posts: 12,498
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by 1911a1fan
    quote:Tips on how to keep your woman happy..
    i find being hung like a mule works best


    So you send her to stripper clubs then?
  • SNIPER1048SNIPER1048 Member Posts: 144 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Dear CUTIEGIRLRACING: If you tell us when your birthday is, I promise we will never forget. Also, post a wish list for your presents and dreams and we will see what we can do about it!
  • mondmond Member Posts: 6,458
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    I forgot a birthday once. That's something you only do ONCE.


    you are a lucky guy James..i forgot mine & it cost me a family..(no joke!)[}:)]
  • CutiegirlracingCutiegirlracing Member Posts: 2,595 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    quote:Originally posted by Cutiegirlracing
    [:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0] Why is it that men can't remember Birthdays and Annversaries,

    I might forget my own birthday sometimes, but believe me, I'll never forget hers again. Why are birthdays and anniversaries so important to women? And why can't a woman ever admit she is angry. When my wife says something like "I'm not mad ... What makes you think I'm mad?" I know it's time to find something to do out back.
  • zipperzapzipperzap Member Posts: 25,057
    edited November -1
    Wiggling your ears while lighting your hair on fire sometimes helps,
    for those who need a good smile once in a while!

    ... I'm glad don't have to worry about that stuff anymore.

    I developed 'animal magnetism' and can always live with
    the dog when things don't work out.[:D]
  • CutiegirlracingCutiegirlracing Member Posts: 2,595 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    quote:Originally posted by Cutiegirlracing
    [:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0] Why is it that men can't remember Birthdays and Annversaries,

    I might forget my own birthday sometimes, but believe me, I'll never forget hers again. Why are birthdays and anniversaries so important to women? And why can't a woman ever admit she is angry. When my wife says something like "I'm not mad ... What makes you think I'm mad?" I know it's time to find something to do out back.


    There important, because they hold meaning. If we we're married why wouldn't you remember the greatest day we've had together? Or why would you remember the day the woman you love was born? Plus it's just annoying the men can't do something so simple as remembering a birthday.

    When a woman says she not mad she's not only mad she's mad and hurt or mad and pi77ed and plans on getting you back which is worsts for you. So if she tells you she's mad your in luck because is only mad. If she's mad and pi77ed she's going to get even and a woman will take her time so you never know when it's coming. And if she stays mad and pi77ed off long enough, she going to be mad and pi77 with half your stuff.
  • mondmond Member Posts: 6,458
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by mond
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    I forgot a birthday once. That's something you only do ONCE.


    you are a lucky guy James..i forgot mine & it cost me a family..(no joke!)[}:)]


    now i think i didnt forget..i went deaf ,daft & monged ! she had that effect..[:D]
  • 1911a1-fan1911a1-fan Member Posts: 51,193 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    the key to never forgetting anniversaries


    i purchased a clock our first anniversary, i also had our name, and the date engraved on it, every year i purchase another, and have it engraved as well, and it is very easy to remember this way, to this day she does not know



    quote:So you send her to stripper clubs then?


    yep everyday i get dressed
  • 11BravoCrunchie11BravoCrunchie Member Posts: 33,424
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Cutiegirlracing
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    I forgot a birthday once. That's something you only do ONCE.



    [:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0][:0] Why is it that men can't remember Birthdays and Annversaries,


    I remember birthdays and anniversaries just fine. Does that mean I'm not a man? Hold on...let me check. Yup, I do appear to be a man.
  • Slow_HandSlow_Hand Member Posts: 2,835
    edited November -1
    Listen to what she's says and don't try to fix it or make it better.

    Good listening skills - including an appreciable and undiverted attention span - is very often what most women seek out and value in a partner.

    Read John Gray's book if you haven't already done so. I did so post-divorce years back and it gave me a valuable insight into what I was doing wrong as well as what I needed to do to create and enjoy better relationships with women. Worked for me.
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