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Jokes from WWII Germany

HAIRYHAIRY Member Posts: 23,606
edited August 2006 in General Discussion
The German army HQ receives news that Mussolini's Italy has joined the war.

"We'll have to put up 10 divisions to counter him!" says one general.

"No, he's on our side," says another.

"Oh, in that case we'll need 20 divisions."


As it became clear that Germany was losing the war and Allied bombing started wiping out German cities, the country turned to bitter sarcasm:

"What will you do after the war?"

"I'll finally go on a holiday and will take a trip round Greater Germany!"

"And what will you do in the afternoon?"


Hitler visits a lunatic asylum.

The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a man who isn't saluting.

"Why aren't you saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.

"Mein F?hrer, I'm the nurse, I'm not crazy!" comes the answer.


Two men meet. "Nice to see you're free again. How was the concentration camp?"

"Great! Breakfast in bed, a choice of coffee or chocolate, and for lunch we got soup, meat and dessert. And we played games in the afternoon before getting coffee and cakes. Then a little snooze and we watched movies after dinner."

The man was astonished: "That's great! I recently spoke to Meyer, who was also locked up there. He told me a different story."

The other man nods gravely and says: "Yes, well that's why they've picked him up again."


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