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How would you respond?

spurgemasturspurgemastur Member Posts: 5,655 ✭✭
edited March 2007 in General Discussion
I've recently re-established contact with an old friend. After 13 years of no contact, we're getting back in touch. In an e-mail to this friend I described my interest in guns. That would be a novel thing, because we both attended a VERY left-wing college.

Below is my friend's response to my initial "I love guns" e-mail. You'll find stuff in there that doesn't make sense because you don't know the details of my original email. I've decided it's better to let you be confused about the details than to cut sections of the response because I don't want to be accused of taking quotes out of context.

I want to know how you would respond to a message from an old friend that looked something like this:

quote:Very interesting stuff about the guns and the bible. This was from an uncle if I'm remembering correctly? I'm still getting my head around your interest in guns, but I don't mean that to sound judgmental, I live in a city and guns are nothing but trouble in a city. Your environment is quite different. I can imagine they are awesome things to behold, and to actually hold and try out and all that. I haven't really thought about that feeling since childhood... growing up the only girl with two brothers will give you plenty of opportunities to explore your boy side. I remember playing with toy guns.

Comments

  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    Get busy and convert that person while there is a ray of hope![:D]
  • spurgemasturspurgemastur Member Posts: 5,655 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by *_r_done
    Get busy and convert that person while there is a ray of hope![:D]


    I'm not one to dump a good friend (and she is that) over a fundamental (and this might be that) disagreement. I'm not beyond trying to make her see things my way, and I made my attempt.

    The question I'm interested in is: how do you bring this argument to a person you love, so that they will come to understand it the same way that you do? Because that's really my problem.

    I made my attempt. It amounted to 'castle doctrine,' and a strict reading of the 2nd amendment, but that's dry. How do you bring those issues alive to a person you love in a way that is effective?
  • KodiakkKodiakk Member Posts: 5,582
    edited November -1
    Simply take her shooting. She sounds like she's open minded, and with the right handling and proper safety shown you could make her respect guns, and possibly get interested. Show her that guns aren't evil and guns can be a fun and safe activity when used and owned by a responsible owner.

    I've converted a girl that by far thought worse of guns then this girl does in her statement at least, and now she has her CCL and never leaves home without it.
  • spurgemasturspurgemastur Member Posts: 5,655 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Kodiakk
    Simply take her shooting. She sounds like she's open minded, and with the right handling and proper safety shown you could make her respect guns, and possibly get interested. Show her that guns aren't evil and guns can be a fun and safe activity when used and owned by a responsible owner.

    I've converted a girl that by far thought worse of guns then this girl does in her statement at least, and now she has her CCL and never leaves home without it.


    Awesome idea, and if it were feasible I'd be all over it. Sadly, I'm on the west coast and she's almost dead-center between west and east coasts.....looooong way away.

    Still, I think you're right about this girl. I think that to take her shooting and show her what it's about might change her viewpoint. She might not become an enthusiast, but she's open enough that she might change her views on how guns should (not) be regulated.

    If the opportunity comes up, I'll take her shooting. Otherwise it's all talk.
  • buschmasterbuschmaster Member Posts: 14,255 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    sounds like she's being open-minded about the situation, and like she said, not judgemental. if you decide on not talking to her any more, I think you could be deemed more judgemental than she is. why not see where it goes. guns don't have to be a major point in your relations with her, do they?
  • PJPJ Member Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    As much as I would like to, I am not going to go there.
    Pete
  • spanielsellsspanielsells Member Posts: 12,498
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Kodiakk
    Simply take her shooting. She sounds like she's open minded, and with the right handling and proper safety shown you could make her respect guns, and possibly get interested. Show her that guns aren't evil and guns can be a fun and safe activity when used and owned by a responsible owner.

    I've converted a girl that by far thought worse of guns then this girl does in her statement at least, and now she has her CCL and never leaves home without it.
    BINGO
  • spurgemasturspurgemastur Member Posts: 5,655 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by spanielsells
    quote:Originally posted by Kodiakk
    Simply take her shooting. She sounds like she's open minded, and with the right handling and proper safety shown you could make her respect guns, and possibly get interested. Show her that guns aren't evil and guns can be a fun and safe activity when used and owned by a responsible owner.

    I've converted a girl that by far thought worse of guns then this girl does in her statement at least, and now she has her CCL and never leaves home without it.
    BINGO


    Yah....I've agreed with this post also, and then explained how 2000 miles of separation makes the suggestion infeasible for the foreseeable future.

    Bingo's all good....unless you actually read the whole thread.
  • Henry0ReillyHenry0Reilly Member Posts: 10,829 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I bet we could find GB members that live near her to fill in for you on the shooting range with her.
    I used to recruit for the NRA until they sold us down the river (again!) in Heller v. DC. See my auctions (if any) under username henryreilly
  • 11BravoCrunchie11BravoCrunchie Member Posts: 33,424 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Offer to take her shooting when the weather warms up. Phrase the offer like an offer to return to an easier time of life.
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by spurgemastur
    quote:Originally posted by *_r_done
    Get busy and convert that person while there is a ray of hope![:D]


    I'm not one to dump a good friend (and she is that) over a fundamental (and this might be that) disagreement. I'm not beyond trying to make her see things my way, and I made my attempt.

    The question I'm interested in is: how do you bring this argument to a person you love, so that they will come to understand it the same way that you do? Because that's really my problem.

    I made my attempt. It amounted to 'castle doctrine,' and a strict reading of the 2nd amendment, but that's dry. How do you bring those issues alive to a person you love in a way that is effective?
    I didn't mean for you to dump a good friend.

    All I was getting at is there does seem to be a ray of hope in converting her to a progunner. And you being a good friend would have a better chance of steering her right.
  • Slow_HandSlow_Hand Member Posts: 2,835
    edited November -1
    As a person who lived in NYC, there IS a definite mentality about guns so don't be too judgemental towards her. We are all products of our particular environment. It took over 50+ years for this ex-city slicker to hold a handgun in his hands and fire it, let alone eventually buy one. Old habits - like a person's beliefs - can die hard or change away. I suggest you give her a chance.

    Kodiakk phrased it very well in his post above.

    Sounds like she means something to you so I'm sure she's worth the additional effort. Space. Time. Tolerance and reasoning. All the while you explain to her where your head is at and why it's there.

    Good luck!
  • WarbirdsWarbirds Member Posts: 16,513 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I would say something like "As you said, you're not being judgemental, and since we both know how intelligent you are maybe one of these days when we get together I'm sure you'd really have alot of fun if we went out to a shooting range and I showed you why I enjoy shooting."

    Anything past that I just wouldn't make an issue of it. I do have at least one or two friends that are freedom hating commies, but I've known them for too long to argue when I do get to see them or talk to them.
  • GuvamintCheeseGuvamintCheese Member Posts: 38,932
    edited November -1
    I wouldnt let guns be that big a part of your conversation, if you are truly interested in her. If your relationship with her is going to just hinge on guns, shes not gonna stick around. But, if you show her that they are just one part of your stable life, she will see the light.
  • MossbergboogieMossbergboogie Member Posts: 12,211
    edited November -1
    Sounds like she feels that all city thriving guns commit crimes.
  • pickenuppickenup Member Posts: 22,846 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You could point out that in the cities (states) that have passed "shall issue" CCW laws, the violent crime rate has gone DOWN in each one of them. When criminals are afraid of their victims shooting back, they lay low.

    Look through the site below, to get some "ammunition" as to how other ladies feel about firearms, their rights, etc. or send her there.

    Tell her about how the 2nd is the ONLY thing that stands between freedom and tyranny. Sounds like she is worth it.

    http://www.armedfemalesofamerica.com/
  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 49,599 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Reads to me as if she is a little afraid of guns, but pretty receptive. I don't see your problem.
  • Colt SuperColt Super Member Posts: 31,007
    edited November -1
    Cartog has the right idea. I had the same experience with an old friend that I hadn't seen in about 30 years. After I tracked him down, we spent a lot of time on the phone (unlimited long distance). He was a quite liberal democrat, actively anti-gun, who lived in Ohio (I'm in Orygun). He also had NO interest in history.

    Over time, about 2 years, I slowly injected discussion of the Constitution into our conversation. Then the Bill of Rights, then the Magna Carta. I sent him a few interesting, non-political books. By the end of these rambling discussions over a couple of yesrs, he went out and bought a Colt 1911A1, and had it tuned by a gunsmith. He started going shootin weekly, and is now politically Conservative, got a CCW - in OHIO - and shoots at least once a week. When I finally visited him, he couldn't wait to show me his collection of about 6 firearms - long and short, and get a couple of his new (shooter) friends together and take me out to blast some paper.

    My point is that I think a gentle, non-agressive approach that's not in a hurry is a key toward not only reviving your friendship, but educating people about our Country in General, and shooting/firearms specifically. Smart, analytical people will lead themselves to the conclusions you wish them to make.

    I'm am continually amazed at how little of America's history is unknown to otherwise intelligent people.

    I really hope that some of what I've said will be helpful.

    D.

    * edited to insert punctuation
  • Colt SuperColt Super Member Posts: 31,007
    edited November -1
    By the way, if you'd like to talk some about this, either call me at 503-843-2020, or if you don't have unlimited long distance, email me at [email protected] with your number and best time to call, and I'll call you.

    I'm usually home, except from 10AM to 2PM on Tuesdays and Thursday.

    D.

    * edited to correct capitaliztion
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    You've got to take her out shooting! It will work.[8D][:)]
  • thecoltcollectorthecoltcollector Member Posts: 151 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    just take it slow with her. dont try to convert her overnite.heck it took me 2 years to get my wife used to the idea that i was into guns.i talk,read guns.heck in the last year i have been running down leads,buy,selling,trading guns.she has gotten interested in them also.she now goes to shows and helps me set up and sell.it just might take some time with your friend is all since she is so far away from you.good luck with her.[:D]
  • Gun_PoorGun_Poor Member Posts: 241 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    When I got married, my wife thought all metal should be outlawed. They dont see guns the same way we do. They need educated, slowly. Kinda like how I have learned to like skin cream.
  • mogley98mogley98 Member Posts: 18,310 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It don't matter! Your 3K miles away talk to her and don't make guns a big deal if you get closer to her then you can let her learn
    Why don't we go to school and work on the weekends and take the week off!
  • mondmond Member Posts: 6,458
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by spurgemastur
    I've recently re-established contact with an old friend. After 13 years of no contact, we're getting back in touch. In an e-mail to this friend I described my interest in guns. That would be a novel thing, because we both attended a VERY left-wing college.

    Below is my friend's response to my initial "I love guns" e-mail. You'll find stuff in there that doesn't make sense because you don't know the details of my original email. I've decided it's better to let you be confused about the details than to cut sections of the response because I don't want to be accused of taking quotes out of context.

    I want to know how you would respond to a message from an old friend that looked something like this:

    quote:Very interesting stuff about the guns and the bible. This was from an uncle if I'm remembering correctly? I'm still getting my head around your interest in guns, but I don't mean that to sound judgmental, I live in a city and guns are nothing but trouble in a city. Your environment is quite different. I can imagine they are awesome things to behold, and to actually hold and try out and all that. I haven't really thought about that feeling since childhood... growing up the only girl with two brothers will give you plenty of opportunities to explore your boy side. I remember playing with toy guns.


    friends take you as you are & respect your life, maybe learn a thing or 2..if they got blinkers on..thats there problem..[;)]
  • spurgemasturspurgemastur Member Posts: 5,655 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Thanks for the input all. If goin' shootin' becomes an option I'll try that with her. Otherwise what I'm hearing is mostly just to be what I am and let her draw her own conclusions about that and about guns (i.e. the mellow approach).

    Maybe that's what I'm hearing because that's what I want to hear. Anyway, that's what I'm doing.
  • mateomasfeomateomasfeo Member Posts: 27,143
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by spurgemastur

    Sadly, I'm on the west coast and she's almost dead-center between west and east coasts.....looooong way away.




    I'll handle her for you...
  • renneckrenneck Member Posts: 273 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    When i met my wife she thought guns were evil but loved being outdoors so i took her camping and brought a .22 so she could realize they are SAFE, NOT COMPLICATED, and DON'T KICK HARD. Then she moved up to a .38 then the .40 and now shutgun. I hate to admit that she shoots everything better than me except my .40.
  • dongizmodongizmo Member Posts: 14,477 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by spurgemastur
    Thanks for the input all. If goin' shootin' becomes an option I'll try that with her. Otherwise what I'm hearing is mostly just to be what I am and let her draw her own conclusions about that and about guns (i.e. the mellow approach).

    Maybe that's what I'm hearing because that's what I want to hear. Anyway, that's what I'm doing.



    Do some research, there is most likely a range or club near here that you could buy her a gift certificate to, for like maybe a hour of instruction & some range time with a .22 for a reasonable price?
    post up a general area, maybe one of the members can make a recommendation.
    Don
    The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools.
  • KodiakkKodiakk Member Posts: 5,582
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by eboydell
    I dated a girl for about 9 years, off and on. She was a stone fox,but very liberal. She hated guns and refused to go shooting, or even to learn anything about them. She moved to Hollywood to become a "model/actress". She drove out there by herself, so I gave her a .38 Colt for her protection. Eventually, she move back to New Orleans two years later. After dating her again, I asked about the gun. She told me that a few weeks after moving to Hollywood, she sold the gun for $125.00 because she needed the money. I have never gotten over that, and your friend reminds me of her. You will never change her! THERE ARE GUN PEOPLE, AND THERE ARE USELESS PEOPLE...AND NEVER SHALL THE TWO MEET.


    I strongly disagree. This girl shows some interest, and doesn't sound entirely close minded like your ex girlfriend.

    Most logical people that use their minds will listen to points of gun ownership and how they are not the bad ones, the people behind them are the bad ones.

    I've turned more outspoken gun haters into gun toting responsible owners then the girl he is asking about. Logic is my strongest point.
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