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Supplemental Laws Of The Universe..
bull300wsm
Member Posts: 3,289
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched
is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in
will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bathroom Theorem:
When your body is fully immersed in bath water, the telephone rings.
When you are sitting on the toilet, the telephone rings.
**Corollary to Bathroom Theorem:
The telephone call will be from a Telemarketer.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.
Law of Bio-Mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule:
At any event,
the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle
arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly correlated
to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits,
it's really ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will cease making it.[8D]
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched
is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in
will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bathroom Theorem:
When your body is fully immersed in bath water, the telephone rings.
When you are sitting on the toilet, the telephone rings.
**Corollary to Bathroom Theorem:
The telephone call will be from a Telemarketer.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.
Law of Bio-Mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule:
At any event,
the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle
arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly correlated
to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits,
it's really ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will cease making it.[8D]
Comments
When you have bought something, liked it, and wish to buy another -- the store no longer carries it.
Wal-Mart Law of Item Location:
When you run into the store for one item you've bought before, and are in a hurry, it will have been moved, and any floor personnel with firsthand knowledge of where it has been moved to will no longer be employed at that store.