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Drafting guys over 60

bull300wsmbull300wsm Member Posts: 3,289
edited September 2009 in General Discussion
Drafting Guys Over 60

(This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier)

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forcesthinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing *-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry'. We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS***
You think Men have attitudes!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

Comments

  • bull300wsmbull300wsm Member Posts: 3,289
    edited November -1
    Got this in an e-mail, thought a few would enjoy.



    Drafting Guys over 60----this is
    > funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier-
    >
    >
    >
    > New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
    >
    >
    >
    > I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
    > terrorists.
    > You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole
    > thing *-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they
    > ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit
    > until you're at least 35.
    >
    >
    >
    > For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
    > Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more
    > than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
    >
    >
    >
    > Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
    > is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry'
    > We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that desperately
    > deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
    >
    >
    >
    > An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always
    > get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired
    > and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some
    > fanatical s-o-b.
    >
    >
    >
    > If captured we couldn't spill the
    > beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial
    > number would be a real brainteaser.
    >
    >
    >
    > Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed
    > and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
    > appreciation
    > for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the
    > house, away from the screaming and yelling.
    >
    >
    >
    > They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
    > and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
    > did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
    >
    > Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
    > seen anyone outrun a bullet.
    >
    >
    >
    > An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
    > shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
    > figured
    > out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his
    > head.
    >
    >
    >
    > These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
    > more about life before sending them off into harm's way..
    >
    >
    >
    > Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last
    > thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old
    > farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years
    > are already behind them..
    >
    >
    >
    > ***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...in menopause!!! You think Men
    > have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
    > my God!!!
    >
    > If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They will have it secured
    > the first night!
  • bull300wsmbull300wsm Member Posts: 3,289
    edited November -1
    I'm sure I seen this on here before but I got this in the mail today and couldn't resist.....Bull



    This is so...funny & obviously written by a former soldier---

    New Direction for any war:



    Send Service Vets over 60!
    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing *-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.


    For starters:
    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry" We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-o-b.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.


    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

    Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.
  • savage170savage170 Member Posts: 36,431 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
  • jimdeerejimdeere Member Posts: 19,656 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I've been saying that very thing since the first Gulf War!
    Only down side I could see would be when we farted, we'd give our position away. Either that or our buddies would open up, thinking that we'd made contact with the enemy. [8D]
    Seriously, though, I'm not sixty yet, and I never served in the military. But I think I could be useful somewhere over there.
  • use enough gunuse enough gun Member Posts: 1,485 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm only 50 but sign me up! Don't care if they give an automatic weapon, a nice boltaction subminute of angle shooter will do me just fine.Dave
  • lindalecowboylindalecowboy Member Posts: 1,909 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Hey, works for me, I'm about to turn 57 in a few days and I just got a new AR, let's go to work..... I'll even use a passport to travel if I have to.

    get er dun
  • retroxler58retroxler58 Member Posts: 32,632 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    This is a pretty good thought...
    I started to make the same post and found this thread already...

    I lIKE IT!!! [^]
  • 1911a1-fan1911a1-fan Member Posts: 51,193
    edited November -1
    good one, but they really dont like anyone that can think for themselves, and no need to flame me, us older guys will just question orders and prioritize things a bit different thats all
  • sig232sig232 Member Posts: 8,018
    edited November -1
    [:D][:D][:D] Love it. Makes a lot of sense to me.
  • anatomically correctanatomically correct Member Posts: 1,045 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Form an all-woman army. Just put 'em on the front lines and tell 'em "See that guy over there? He just said you look really fat in that uniform." The war would over in about 12 minutes.
  • EMCSEMCS Member Posts: 4,063
    edited November -1
  • jeffie076jeffie076 Member Posts: 1,965 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Hell, put me and my wheelchair behind a rock wall with my m1a, a crate of ammo and a thermos of coffee and I'll gladly let the terrorists give they're life for they're beliefes(sp)[^][;)][}:)][}:)][}:)]
  • bobskibobski Member Posts: 17,868 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    would work out just fine.... except someone has figured out that its more expensive to keep old cars running than it is to waste a few new ones.

    heck, with my eye sight, i might end up shooting my buddy!

    or i might give away my position by the smell of not being able to hold my bowels or urine long enough.

    or how about our naps? heck...i cant work for an hour after i eat lunch.

    and hearing? geesh....im so use to ignoring my wifes commands, i might miss the order to move out.

    neeehh....i think i'll stay right here in my USS homeport for good and just watch them young bloods hump 100lb packs, and laugh. why? odds are 1/2 of it is probably cell phones, ipods, and laptops to talk to people back home with.[:X]
    Retired Naval Aviation
    Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
    Former NSSA All American
    Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
    MO, CT, VA.
  • SCOUT5SCOUT5 Member Posts: 14,263 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I've read this before but it's still funny.
  • dreherdreher Member Posts: 7,145 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Another take on the all female army. After they start cycling togeather, deploy all those getting ready to start PMSing 24 hours after being deployed. 15 minutes after the women attacked, all the enemy soldiers would be dead or running like the Devil and all the hounds of Hell are snapping at their heels.[:D][}:)][:D]
  • retroxler58retroxler58 Member Posts: 32,632 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    [:D]

    I was just thinkin' that we've had it all wrong all these years...
    Until a few years ago, wimmin weren't allowed near the front lines to fight...

    But, you know, this idea probably got started by the enemy anyways!

    They know if the wimmin ever got involved, it'd be over before it got started!!!! And ne'r a shot fired either... Who would be able to confront a mad, screaming, bunch of wimmin who was already pizzed due to PMS and was upset they were on the front lines anyways?

    Not I! nor the enemy I suspect either!
  • RosieRosie Member Posts: 15,907
    edited November -1
    Calling us up would be a hell of an act of kindness. We would die doing something for our country and not laying in bed slobbering on our selves. I'M READY. I will even supply my company with guns and ammo.
  • coledigger4coledigger4 Member Posts: 826 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Another reason for us older guys, we know what we are slowly losing, other than our minds, eyesight, etc.. So many young people don't have a clue due to biased media, schools teachings, and 'the way things were'. A lot of us are crabby and set in our ways to the point that we could care less what the term "politically correct" even means.
  • MaxOHMSMaxOHMS Member Posts: 14,715
    edited November -1
    Quote:

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee


    Yep!


    Good Morning, Old Pharts Club Members!!!
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