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It is never easy and it hurts like hell

bpostbpost Member Posts: 32,664 ✭✭✭✭
edited May 2016 in General Discussion
Having to end a long term relationship sucks. After 3-1/2 years I had to make a decision, nothing was happening, we were getting nowhere it was a two year holding pattern with no end in sight. I made that difficult decision to move on with my life and told her yesterday.

I really feel badly for her, I do love the woman; she was upset to say the least.

Life goes on.
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    bpostbpost Member Posts: 32,664 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    You are a dick for doing it on a memorial day


    Is there ever a good day?
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    Rack OpsRack Ops Member Posts: 18,597 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    You are a dick for doing it on a memorial day.


    According to the post, he did it yesterday.
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    RobOzRobOz Member Posts: 9,523 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Rack Ops
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    You are a dick for doing it on a memorial day.


    According to the post, he did it yesterday.


    today is the 30th[:D]
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    woodshed87woodshed87 Member Posts: 25,785
    edited November -1
    Hope she Don't have access to Your Plane[B)]
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    spasmcreekspasmcreek Member Posts: 37,724 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    bet dn has evicted more than you have.i shut one gal off that was going nowhere other than would have ended up with her mother running our lives..in the middle of a bowling tournament..we still both got a 2nd place trophy....went on to find the best partner.....u dun best for both
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    bpostbpost Member Posts: 32,664 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Rack Ops
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    You are a dick for doing it on a memorial day.


    According to the post, he did it yesterday.


    We had "the conversation" yesterday, the day before Memorial day but the question remains; is there ever a good day? I don't think so, but maybe I am wrong.
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    RobOzRobOz Member Posts: 9,523 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by bpost
    quote:Originally posted by Rack Ops
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    You are a dick for doing it on a memorial day.


    According to the post, he did it yesterday.


    We had "the conversation" yesterday, the day before Memorial day but the question remains; is there ever a good day? I don't think so, but maybe I am wrong.


    never a good day for stuff like that. the good thing is now you can focus on the future.
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    Don McManusDon McManus Member Posts: 23,476 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It is always best to do it right after sex.

    You can take her to dinner, spend a couple of hours and let her down easy, or invest the two or three minutes and remind her why you leaving is not such a bad thing.
    Freedom and a submissive populace cannot co-exist.

    Brad Steele
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    nutfinnnutfinn Member Posts: 12,804 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It is always tuff [:(]
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    shilowarshilowar Member Posts: 38,815 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by bpost
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    You are a dick for doing it on a memorial day


    Is there ever a good day?




    Exactly....gotta do what you gotta do man, I promise if she weren't happy she'd have had no hesitation in ending it and moving on. You gotta look out for your happiness, if she isn't the one no point in wasting both of your's time.
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    shilowarshilowar Member Posts: 38,815 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by bpost
    quote:Originally posted by Rack Ops
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    You are a dick for doing it on a memorial day.


    According to the post, he did it yesterday.


    We had "the conversation" yesterday, the day before Memorial day but the question remains; is there ever a good day? I don't think so, but maybe I am wrong.



    If you had done it on Veteran's day you'd have saved yourself 6.5 months. Just sayin. [;)]
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    pwilliepwillie Member Posts: 20,253 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I think most all forum users have had to make that call...You can always upgrade your plane ride! LOL! Today we lead complicated lives...no need to complicate it with some one that your not happy with...
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    scrumpyjackscrumpyjack Member Posts: 5,336 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It was over your driving again, wasn't it?[:D]
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    bullshotbullshot Member Posts: 14,336 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by pwillie
    I think most all forum users have had to make that call...You can always upgrade your plane ride! LOL! Today we lead complicated lives...no need to complicate it with some one that your not happy with...



    Most of us guys had that call made for us rather than us making the call.

    You're correct, there isn't really a good time (in terms of feelings) to break up but you have to go ahead at some point and pull out the thorn so that the healing can begin.
    There are better days ahead.
    "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you"
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    Okie MomOkie Mom Member Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    NOPE, there is never a good day. Best to end it while ahead.
    Had to end a couple myself and always wondered if it hurts the guys as much when the gal ends it ??
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    JunkballerJunkballer Member Posts: 9,175 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    She might have woke up with a smile on her face today [:)], women are tougher than men realize..........pretty damn coy too [;)]

    "Never do wrong to make a friend----or to keep one".....Robert E. Lee

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    bpostbpost Member Posts: 32,664 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by scrumpyjack
    It was over your driving again, wasn't it?[:D]

    Actually yes, that is part of the decision. She is a dangerous nervous Nellie driver or passenger. As a driver she is always slowing for traffic merging on the highway, hitting her brakes at the oddest times, she thinks she is safe. I tried to explain she was a hazard because people expect the person with the right of way to take it and go. I drive for a profession in sales, well over 1,000,000 miles driven. She is terrified riding with me although I seldom do past 3 MPH over the limit and have not had a ticket since 1981. I explained to her that if people don't like the way I drive stay the hell off of the side walks.

    That fact, her nervousness in a vehicle, was one of the straws. My flying is definitely another.
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    1911a1-fan1911a1-fan Member Posts: 51,193 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    its-not-you-its-me.jpg





    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uAj4wBIU-8
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    kimikimi Member Posts: 44,723 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    quote:Originally posted by RobOz
    quote:Originally posted by Rack Ops
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    You are a dick for doing it on a memorial day weekend.


    According to the post, he did it yesterday.


    today is the 30th[:D]


    Dam, just dam.[:D]


    Fixed it for ya, Dennis! [:D]
    What's next?
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    mlincolnmlincoln Member Posts: 5,039 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    bpost, sorry to hear about things. That stinks. Perhaps a story will cheer you up.

    My buddy is a super talented musician and was playing this year-long gig at a resort in Japan. He was dating this hot girl in grad school for about 6 months before he left for Japan, and he was very worried about going over there. She'll leave me, he told me, and sure enough 3 weeks after he got there he got the Dear John letter.

    He was miserable as he really loved her, and he was there in the ready room before the gig feeling miserable. In fact, he was crying a bit, and into the room walk a bunch of the old guy musicians.

    The ask him what's wrong, and he tells them, and they try to cheer him up. They tell him he's a great guy, that there are plenty of other fish in the sea, that he'll meet a great girl over here in Japan, etc. Nothing is cheering him up.

    "Hey, buddy," one of the guys says, "you just need to realize it's over and it's time to move on. Just rip the band-aid off and get on with your life. Hey, let's be honest: she's probably sucking some other guy's d ! ck right now. Hey, that's our cue. Let's have a good set!"
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    mogley98mogley98 Member Posts: 18,297 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Too bad it took you 3 1/2 years wasted to figure it out.
    Why don't we go to school and work on the weekends and take the week off!
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    eastbankeastbank Member Posts: 4,215
    edited November -1
    i ended it with a nice young lady right before i went into the service and she said i hope you get killed. she was one tough bi#ch, but there were things i missed about her. mr myopic.
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    bpostbpost Member Posts: 32,664 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by mogley98
    Too bad it took you 3 1/2 years wasted to figure it out.




    It was not a waste; it was good times for the most part but being in a holding pattern for the past 2 plus years is not working for me, I seek a future. I may die today but I still was looking forward to a better tomorrow.
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    Marc1301Marc1301 Member Posts: 31,897 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It is what it is,....if it makes you feel better, I more than doubled your 3.5 years. She will get over it.
    "Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here." - William Shatner
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    cbxjeffcbxjeff Member Posts: 17,427 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm an experienced veteran here bpost. Usually there is never a good day. The exception would if things get violent. You will get over it. I'm not the first to say "Time heals everything" but find that maybe not heals but certainly softens. My late dad told me "Nobody ever said that this s*** was going to easy". Hang in there buddy.
    It's too late for me, save yourself.
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    dcon12dcon12 Member Posts: 31,941 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Umm, what is her number? Don
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    cbxjeffcbxjeff Member Posts: 17,427 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Don, that about as cold as what one of my managers told me years ago. His young wife was expecting and he joined her in Lamaze classes. He theory was that it was a great place to pick-up chicks since it was obvious that they liked it. No, he is no longer married.
    It's too late for me, save yourself.
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    jev1969jev1969 Member Posts: 2,691
    edited November -1
    Sorry to hear it. It is definitely a tough decision to make. Too often people stay in relationships where neither person is happy for the sole reason of not wanting to feel the pain of the break up or fear of being alone. What they don't realize is they are missing the opportunity of meeting the person that will make them happy. I look at it this way: an unhappy relationship is like a toothache. A slow dull pain. People will live with it for months because they are afraid getting it pulled will hurt a lot but in the long run keeping the tooth is much more painful and it will eventually need to get pulled anyways.
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    select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,453 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Every time I hear a story how it didn't work out.. I think of how lucky I really am.
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    spasmcreekspasmcreek Member Posts: 37,724 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    i'd bet when u fly you quit flapping your wings at the oddest times...
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    armilitearmilite Member Posts: 35,478 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by bpost
    quote:Originally posted by scrumpyjack
    It was over your driving again, wasn't it?[:D]

    Actually yes, that is part of the decision. She is a dangerous nervous Nellie driver or passenger. As a driver she is always slowing for traffic merging on the highway, hitting her brakes at the oddest times, she thinks she is safe. I tried to explain she was a hazard because people expect the person with the right of way to take it and go. I drive for a profession in sales, well over 1,000,000 miles driven. She is terrified riding with me although I seldom do past 3 MPH over the limit and have not had a ticket since 1981. I explained to her that if people don't like the way I drive stay the hell off of the side walks.

    That fact, her nervousness in a vehicle, was one of the straws. My flying is definitely another.



    Then I would have made the same choice.
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    Mr. PerfectMr. Perfect Member, Moderator Posts: 66,260 ******
    edited November -1
    Hope you find the right one soon Bruce.
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    And fiery auto crashes
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    While sifting through my ashes
    Some will fall in love with life
    And drink it from a fountain
    That is pouring like an avalanche
    Coming down the mountain
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