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Cougar.

OakieOakie Member Posts: 40,519 ✭✭✭✭
edited July 2015 in General Discussion
No, not the animal. Today, Chris and I were working in some very rich, smoking hot ladies house. She is about 50 and gorgeous. Anyway, Chris was bending over, wrapping a piece of duct, and his boxers were hanging out. He has no *, his back meets his legs.[:D] Anyway, on his boxers, that my mom bought him for Christmas, is a picture of a bear and it says, "Pull my paw".[:D][:D][:D] The homeowner walks by, pats my son on his * and says, I will pull your paw, as she winks and walks away. I have never seen that shade of red on his face before. He looked at me and I said to him, Go for it, your not married. We just laughed. Been teasing him about it all day. He asked if we are going back there tomorrow. [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] Thought I would share a good laugh with you guys.
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    Ditch-RunnerDitch-Runner Member Posts: 24,574 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    when were young we seem to miss a lot of opportunities [:D]even thought we think we got em all .. knowing that today. I would go back as a follow up to make sure it was "working "
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    fishkiller41fishkiller41 Member Posts: 50,608
    edited November -1
    No way I'd call that job done till I got my gauges hooked up at least once more.[;)]
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    toad67toad67 Member Posts: 13,019 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sounds like she wanted her duct cleaned.......
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    buschmasterbuschmaster Member Posts: 14,229 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    was she married?
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    OakieOakie Member Posts: 40,519 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by buschmaster
    was she married?


    Yes, but her husband is in California on business. They are somewhere on the forbes top 100 richest people or something like that. Cool house. Built in 1790 and is known as a historical landmark.

    Lets just say I would love to have a woman that beautiful. She also has a great personality. Bought us Breakfast and Lunch today. She is definitely neglected by her husband, just not financially. Dressed in a mini skirt today and heels. I will be dreaming of her all night[;)][;)][;)][;)][;)][:p][:p][:p][:p][:p]
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    Dads3040Dads3040 Member Posts: 13,552 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by buschmaster
    was she married?

    Not to Oakie's son! [8D]
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    woodshed87woodshed87 Member Posts: 25,785
    edited November -1
    I would Leave it alone
    Seen to Many Lifetime Movies Last winter
    Rich people Will have Your * Killed
    Faster than A Wink.[;)]
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    Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Never never never mess with a married woman, never!! For starters I respect marriage and second if a married woman is out for a one niter she is liable to "kiss and tell" besides, I'm with the greatest woman in the world and I won't even look at another woman in a lustfull manner. That's just me.
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    dreherdreher Member Posts: 8,787 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Does your wife ever check your GB posts?? I would hate for you to post that certain body parts had been surgically removed by your wife and her favorite paring knife!![:D]
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    buschmasterbuschmaster Member Posts: 14,229 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    if we get pictures of a chopped off sausage we know that wasn't oakie posting it... [:D]
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    MG1890MG1890 Member Posts: 4,649
    edited November -1
    I'd have told her that Mr. Paw wanted to meet Mr. Beaver.
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    Rack OpsRack Ops Member Posts: 18,597 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Married?

    My advice would be to stay the hell away...
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    thunderboltthunderbolt Member Posts: 6,038 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It isn't worth the trouble.
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    fishkiller41fishkiller41 Member Posts: 50,608
    edited November -1
    Ain't anybody gonna miss a slice of a cut loaf..[;)]
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    kidthatsirishkidthatsirish Member Posts: 6,985 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Big Sky Redneck
    Never never never mess with a married woman, never!! For starters I respect marriage and second if a married woman is out for a one niter she is liable to "kiss and tell" besides, I'm with the greatest woman in the world and I won't even look at another woman in a lustfull manner. That's just me.


    +1
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    grdad45grdad45 Member Posts: 5,317 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Had to dig deep into my morals a few times while doing service calls. Sometimes it was really difficult to walk away from a great offer. Some of them were when I wasn't married, but the ladies were.
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    pwilliepwillie Member Posts: 20,253 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Every body is capable of tasting the dessert.....[:o)]
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    p3skykingp3skyking Member Posts: 25,750 ✭
    edited November -1
    If we were meant to only mate with one wife, she would bite our heads off and eat us after the deed was done.
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    SGSG Member Posts: 7,548
    edited November -1
    Hahaha,thats awesome!Tell him she could teach him a few things[:D]

    Years ago I had a homeowner that I was doing a tile job for and she walks up,while Im spreadin the mud and says, " Yep,you guys are a lot like those floor tiles...Lay em once and you can walk all over em." Caught me off guard for sure![:D]
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    skicatskicat Member Posts: 14,431 ✭
    edited November -1
    #7 is easier to keep.
    #10 is easier to break.

    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his *, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
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    gearheaddadgearheaddad Member Posts: 15,096 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    A friend of mine is a carpenter and was finishing a basement of a huge newer house.
    There was one finished bedroom in the basement.
    He was downstairs one Saturday morning and naked blond woman was passed out sleeping on top of the covers. Russell just took a few peeks and continued working.
    The next week he was back at the house and the homeowners blond wife surprised him in a small robe. She apologized up and down for embarrassing him. He says, no problem I saw most of you Saturday and winked.
    She said, impossible I was out of town!!!!
    Then the fun started upstairs as he went downstairs!!
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    He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 50,953 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    A fair number of you guys need a new moral compass. Yours ain't working.
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    lew07lew07 Member Posts: 1,055 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Watch out for the husband hiding in the wardrobe[:D][:0]
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    wpagewpage Member Posts: 10,204 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The lady had a sense of humor...
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    TRAP55TRAP55 Member Posts: 8,270 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by p3skyking
    If we were meant to only mate with one wife, she would bite our heads off and eat us after the deed was done.

    I take it you've never been married to a menopausal redhead?
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    shilowarshilowar Member Posts: 38,815 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Oakie
    Lets just say I would love to have a woman that beautiful. She also has a great personality.

    She sounds really faithful too...oh wait apparently not a quality of your list of must haves.
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    roswellnativeroswellnative Member Posts: 10,131 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Pull my paw. That is the funniest thing I ever heard

    Are you hiring??

    Ros
    Although always described as a cowboy, Roswellnative generally acts as a righter of wrongs or bodyguard of some sort, where he excels thanks to his resourcefulness and incredible gun prowesses.
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    bigbill0910bigbill0910 Member Posts: 1,119 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You all know that a man will go places with a woody that he wouldn't go with a 12 gauge shot gun[B)]
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    pulsarncpulsarnc Member Posts: 6,257 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I worked as a water well driller and pump installer in Tidewater area of VA in the mid 70's. Norfolk was a playground for me in the summertime with the navy wives when the fleet was out for exercises and cruises. Back then I was single had access to a cabin cruiser on the bay .
    cry Havoc and let slip  the dogs of war..... 
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    select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,453 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by dennisnielsen
    Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest.


    Passed on lots of trim that was spoken for when I was single as well as married.

    I could only imagine rocking some of these whacko bitches world
    and reliving that Fatal Attraction movie.[xx(]

    The neighbor down the road wanted me to give her a bid for loader work
    the only spot she wanted me to work was when she showed me what was under her terry cloth shorts and top.

    Hourglass figure, beautiful, 38DD 24 36 and smelled like she was covered in pheromones and on a plate.[:p]

    So I went home and ravaged my wife.[;)]

    Life is too good for me to screw up.




    Blackmail is also the key word. They hate it when you say No.
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    woodshed87woodshed87 Member Posts: 25,785
    edited November -1
    Hey I Resemble That[;)]quote:Originally posted by bigbill0910
    You all know that a man will go places with a woody that he wouldn't go with a 12 gauge shot gun[B)]
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    select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,453 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It is a terrible thing Landlords have to put up with
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    DPHMINDPHMIN Member Posts: 908 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    This thread reminds me of the 7th chapter of Proverbs.
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    gesshotsgesshots Member Posts: 15,679 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    cougar-in-a-tree.jpg

    [^][:D][^]
    It's being willing. I found out early that most men, regardless of cause or need, aren't willing. They blink an eye or draw a breath before they pull the trigger. I won't. ~ J.B. Books
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