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Do you have a will....have you planned your estate out?
Locust Fork
Member Posts: 31,617 ✭✭✭✭
My mother passed without having a will. She didn't "own" anything much, but the little that she did has turned into a dang nightmare. It will be at least a year before we can sell the little place she owned because it will have to go through probate court since she didn't have a will leaving it to anyone. Meanwhile the bills are rolling in for the various things.....medical expenses that weren't covered....final expenses.....and now the grass has become an issue. Her place is surrounded by relatives that she wanted to live nearby in her final years.....but this bunch weren't ever enough count to mow her grass. I'm certain they have thoughts about owning that place one day.......and I'll sell it to them if they want to pay, but I swear, if they cause me one moment of grief I will find the crappiest person I can and sign it over to them.
I've been talking to Larry about what we should do to prepare ourselves. The girls would fight like cats and dogs over every single object in this place on certain days and insist the other take it all for themselves on others......it will be a nightmare if either of them were in charge. Putting my son in charge right now wouldn't be a smart move because he hasn't officially grown up enough yet to deal with anything. My brother would do, but I don't think he'd want to do it. I hope my son ages properly enough to wrangle his sisters into some workable frenzy if and when the time comes. Liam is my long term plan for now.
I've been talking to Larry about what we should do to prepare ourselves. The girls would fight like cats and dogs over every single object in this place on certain days and insist the other take it all for themselves on others......it will be a nightmare if either of them were in charge. Putting my son in charge right now wouldn't be a smart move because he hasn't officially grown up enough yet to deal with anything. My brother would do, but I don't think he'd want to do it. I hope my son ages properly enough to wrangle his sisters into some workable frenzy if and when the time comes. Liam is my long term plan for now.
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Comments
Heart issues, (Mitral valve/A-Fib incidents.)
If I did not have to keep throwing unexpected $$ his way, maybe I could do so.
Like I told him the other day, "Lawyers do not work for free."
Do it.
With a will, nothing can be sold until probate, with a trust, the trustee can sell immediately, or "keep" the property indefinitely.
I'd suggest that anyone considering estate planning (and we all should) should look into a revokble trust. And get a pour over will that puts nothing not owned by the trust, into the trust upon your passing.
That is the plan. We're dealing with it from all angles right now. My mother passing, my father almost hiding from everyone so we have no clue how he's doing except random sightings that we all keep each other updated on, Larry's parents have become unable to manage their finances and its become a weekly battle with them and Larry's sister.
I have got to get this handled soon.
This sounds smart.
A trust is basically what you need to protect your assetts and heirs for real property.
Of course you should have living Wills etc. Life can change in a blink of the eye.
Double check beneficiaries on any Life insurance. Has anything changed since last time they were looked at, updated, or even purchased?
A good time to look at IRAs etc also. Take advantage of a good tax deduction and save for the future......
It's pretty painless. Everyone's situation is different, but I'd guess $1000.00-1500.00 and your done.
A will for personal property, so whoever you'd like to get whatever, hopefully they will.
Good luck!
Oh yeah, call your attorney first thing tomorrow!!
It's nothing to procrastinate over.
Ed
That may be the best idea yet.................
"Never do wrong to make a friend----or to keep one".....Robert E. Lee
And yes, I accept. If your family members become snarkily over her property I'll take it off your hands. Thanks for thinking of me
Make sure you actually have your bank or CU set up an actual trust account.
Seriously- yes, have a will- but my concern is for my wife- who is in home hospice care, and would not be competent or able to manage if I get run over by a beer truck. Everything we own is as joint tenants with right of survivorship.
Son-in-law is a good man- and is both the executor of my will and the administrator for the benefit of my wife. He has a copy of my will, but also has a separate document telling him where what is- my SSAN, insurance policies, retirement, savings and checking accounts, combinations for the gun safes, etc.
I have also sat and talked with each of our 4 kids- when Mom & I are both gone, there is going to be a 4 way split, If there is something personal we have that you want, let me know now. Each of the girls has asked for an item of their Mom's, each of the boys has asked for an item of mine.
If you have not done some planning, that's OK- when it is YOUR turn to get run over by a beer truck, you won't care- but you will have made somebody's life miserable trying to track down your assets. Having to spend time talking with hospice staff and funeral homes sorta drives the point home. As Pogo the Possum said- "Don't take life so serious--it ain't nohow permanent."
- A Trust so that your business can be continued to be run or closed down without a probate court looking over everything.
- A Will to back up the Trust, they call the combo of Will and Trust a belt with suspenders. If there is any defect in the Trust the Will will cover it.
- Durable Power of Attorney, make sure it has provisions for running a business.
- Health Care Proxy, make sure it has provisions for end of life issues and dealing with ins. companies.
- Living Will if allowed in your state.
The documents everyone needs now is the DPA and HCP. Everyone plans for when they are gone but forget the things that can happen to you before you die and someone needs to care for you.
THIS^^^ IMHO get a Trust.
A death, even with a will, brings out the "best" in people. There will be fights, arguments,
"no, Mom said this", and a host of other head aches.
What ever you do, make sure it is clear and binding and without any decisions left to the heirs. :x
Exactly - I read a book a while ago - called "die broke"
People who would never abuse their dog, don't seem to mind abusing their family by not having a will.
..So this very rich man was on his dealt bed and he calls into the room, A priest, a minister, and a Rabi.
Tells them, "I not sure what the true religion is and I want money to spend in my after life, so each of you take these envelopes with $100,000 cash in them.
Just before they cover me with the dirt, throw the envelopes into the grave."
On the faithful day, each of the 3 holy men do as he asked.
Walking away from the grave site the priest admits he took out 1/2 the cash to help his church.
Then the minister Says he kept $75,000 from the $100,000 too.
The priest and the minister both look at the Rabi.
"Hey!!! Don't look at me like that" exclaims the Rabi.
"I put a check for the full amount in the grave"!!!!
I realize there's a very slight risk to that, but in the very unlikely event my desktop is stolen, I can change all of that in a moment.
^^^^ THIS ^^^^^ Been there when parents passed. Money has destroyed many a family and ruined family ties.
Had a very confident attorney draw up the necessary papers including a health care directive if unable to make health decisions myself.
Told family the papers in in the safe. Response was: "Spend it"
We have enough gun laws, what we need is IDIOT control.
Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family.
I thought getting old would take longer. :shock:
If you leave it all in a will the ^%$# lawyer will take 5% & it will take a year to pass the money out.
My FIL/MIL did it the best way IMHO. They set everything up in a trust and the process was quite seamless with minimal tax implications..
From these experiences, we have set up a trust. We have living wills and Power of Attorney documents in place. One of our sons is named POA if/when needed and will be in charge of the trust upon our death. Everything is spelled out quite clearly and here is no real wiggle room. We have also set up long term healthcare programing should we need it. Finally, we have already purchased two cemetery plots near several generations of my wife's family so that is all in place.
We have communicated all the information to our children and they have a working understanding of the trust and how it effects them in the future.
I am at that point, where I need to get it done.
Thank You.
The state will muck it up and take its time/
Only have 1 son so not hard to figure it out except when it came to the point where they ask if my son and I were together and something happened to both of us!!! Then it was major decision time.
Have had to change my will, durable power of attorney, and living will a couple of times but it's set now.
When my Dad died years ago my Mom's lawyer advised that my brother, his wife, me and my husband ALL be placed as executors so that we all had to agree on what would be done. That way no one could say it wasn't done right.
Like others have said...Get to a Lawyer and get it in motion