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Psychology experts please help
benzapped
Member Posts: 328 ✭✭✭
A guy in my neighborhood has a personality where he tries to control his friends' friendships. If he likes someone it is alright with him for his friends to like them. If he does not like someone then you can not be his friend if they are a friend of yours.
He demands this personality trait of his family too.
He is also very his way in everything he does and condemning of others who don't think like he thinks. Needless to say his friendship circle is not wide.
Our minister says it is some sort of behavior addiction and not healthy for him or his family.
I looked for material on more clear definitions of this and how to help someone like him but cannot seem to find anything specific.
Does anyone here have any experience with people like this? And maybe some suggested reading on the subject?
Thanks in advance for your input.
He demands this personality trait of his family too.
He is also very his way in everything he does and condemning of others who don't think like he thinks. Needless to say his friendship circle is not wide.
Our minister says it is some sort of behavior addiction and not healthy for him or his family.
I looked for material on more clear definitions of this and how to help someone like him but cannot seem to find anything specific.
Does anyone here have any experience with people like this? And maybe some suggested reading on the subject?
Thanks in advance for your input.
Comments
MOLON LABE!
An evil tree bears evil fruit. You can destroy as much fruit as you want, but it will always grow back, and it will always be evil.
Tear the tree out of the ground by the roots and burn it. Burn it to ash and grind out the embers with your boot until there's nothing left. Not a single spark. Not a single seed.
I know people that can have only one friend at a time and expect you to do the same,, I bluntly told them, If you dont like my other friends then maybe your not really my friend..Works[:D]
As far as close friendships (running buddies) are concerned this guy only has one at a time. They last about 1-2 years.
As far as dealing with him? Easy - don't deal with him. Because unless he's the only source of oxygen within a one thousand mile radius, you really don't need that sort of grief.
Tell him to go f**k himself and go on your merry way.
quote:Psychology experts
That's funny![:D][;)]
SALLY
Committee member-Ducks Unlimited
Everyone is somebody's "weirdo".
www.mentalhealth.com
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."
Sigmund Freud, "General Introduction to Psychoanalysis".
The traits you are describing seem as those of a patient suffering from narcisitic personality disorder.
www.mentalhealth.com
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."
Sigmund Freud, "General Introduction to Psychoanalysis".
Wow..Great site, Psycho...I'm adding it to my "Favorites"...
Everyone is somebody's "weirdo".
The traits you are describing seem as those of a patient suffering from narcisitic personality disorder.
Yes, and you don't become that way, you stay that way--stalled in a normal stage of childhood development that most people grow out of by the time they reach puberty.
Everyone is somebody's "weirdo".
Your friend has a personality disorder having to do with control issues, as stated above. If he is indeed a friend, the best thing you can do is tell it like it is, also as stated above, and keep your ego boundaries strong because without that you will take a verbal beating. If you can listen to his crap and dismiss it by reminding yourself, for example, that it doesn't concern or affect you because you know he is wrong your friendship may survive the storm.
There is no cure for personality disorders, but the afflicted ones sometime learn to control their nature. First he has to accept the fact that it is not the rest of the world that is wrong but him. Unfortunately, most people with personality disorders will not come to that realization before their late 30's or early 40's.
If you really want to put the effort into him you should be able to develop skills to make yourself heard in time. Good luck.
"No taxation without representation, Join the NRA"
NOt that I'm saying that proper theraputic treatment couldn't help, the difficulty with a personality disorder is convincing the person with the disorder that they have a disorder.Especially with the narcissistic personality, they are absolutetly sure that the rest of the world is just screwed up and they are functioning on "normal".
Everyone is somebody's "weirdo".
The traits you are describing seem as those of a patient suffering from narcisitic personality disorder.
www.mentalhealth.com
Great site. Thanks. I looked up the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it listed some diagnostic criteria. Here are some that describe my neighbor:
1 - believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
2 - requires excessive admiration
3 - has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
4 - is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
5 - lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
6 - is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him
7 - shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Thank you again for all the inputs. They are helping me sort this out.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY RIGHTS - GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY (this includes politicians)<P>
No offense, Blackhorn, but telling someone with a personality disorder that they have a personality disorder and should seek treatment is usually pointless.
NOt that I'm saying that proper theraputic treatment couldn't help, the difficulty with a personality disorder is convincing the person with the disorder that they have a disorder.Especially with the narcissistic personality, they are absolutetly sure that the rest of the world is just screwed up and they are functioning on "normal".
Everyone is somebody's "weirdo".
No offense, rcxr's, but if you'd take the time to read my post you'd discover that I never made any recommendations to inform the person that he has a personality disorder or to seek treatment.
But thanks for sharing anyhow.
"No taxation without representation, Join the NRA"
If you want to be concerned about something, maybe you should wonder why you want to make friends with an dude. If being unhappy makes him happy, good on im. If he's as bad as you say, his family is temporary.
My Lord commands me to love my neighbor. Love being defined as wanting the best for someone even if it means putting myself second. Has nothing to do with liking someone or being their friend. Simply loving them.
quote:Originally posted by rcrxs old lady
No offense, Blackhorn, but telling someone with a personality disorder that they have a personality disorder and should seek treatment is usually pointless.
NOt that I'm saying that proper theraputic treatment couldn't help, the difficulty with a personality disorder is convincing the person with the disorder that they have a disorder.Especially with the narcissistic personality, they are absolutetly sure that the rest of the world is just screwed up and they are functioning on "normal".
Everyone is somebody's "weirdo".
No offense, rcxr's, but if you'd take the time to read my post you'd discover that I never made any recommendations to inform the person that he has a personality disorder or to seek treatment.
But thanks for sharing anyhow.
"No taxation without representation, Join the NRA"
Sure blackhorn, anytime. What part of "NO OFFENSE INTENDED" did you not understand? I submit my profuse appologies for the misunderstanding.
Everyone is somebody's "weirdo".
He is an A-HOLE, pure and simple, he also has small BallPark Frank syndrome compounded by feelings of rejection from his momma.
Sure blackhorn, anytime. What part of "NO OFFENSE INTENDED" did you not understand? I submit my profuse appologies for the misunderstanding.
Everyone is somebody's "weirdo".
None taken whatsoever. I was just trying to make a clarification, don't like being misquoted.
"No taxation without representation, Join the NRA"