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Taking Mom out for the day...playing tricks on her
Locust Fork
Member Posts: 31,668 ✭✭✭✭
I know its a little evil.....but its fun. I don't do "bad" things to my mother, but I like to give her a little spark while we are out.
Like at the hospital waiting on the elevator......let her get in it....and push every button and step out....then get in another one and meet her on the floor you are going to.
Or.....
In the grocery store looking at coffee...and telling mother out loud "they don't sell porn here, I'll have to take you downtown again, but we don't have time today."
She laughs and we have fun. I'm sure my brother and sister don't do the same mess as I do.....but my brother's ring tone on his phone is Queen's Tie Your Mother Down. He likes to play it for her doctors.
I spent the day with her today. I swear......the whole getting mother to the car....going to a place....pulling up front....getting mother out....getting mother up onto the curb and to a place where she can wait.....driving to a parking spot.....walking to mother and going into wherever we are.....makes for a LONG day with only a few stops.
We did travel around the ENTIRE grocery store.....her driving one of those little cart things and only running into me three times and the bag boy once. That freaking beeeeep beeeep beeeeep beeeeep sound that it makes will be in the center of my brain for days.
Like at the hospital waiting on the elevator......let her get in it....and push every button and step out....then get in another one and meet her on the floor you are going to.
Or.....
In the grocery store looking at coffee...and telling mother out loud "they don't sell porn here, I'll have to take you downtown again, but we don't have time today."
She laughs and we have fun. I'm sure my brother and sister don't do the same mess as I do.....but my brother's ring tone on his phone is Queen's Tie Your Mother Down. He likes to play it for her doctors.
I spent the day with her today. I swear......the whole getting mother to the car....going to a place....pulling up front....getting mother out....getting mother up onto the curb and to a place where she can wait.....driving to a parking spot.....walking to mother and going into wherever we are.....makes for a LONG day with only a few stops.
We did travel around the ENTIRE grocery store.....her driving one of those little cart things and only running into me three times and the bag boy once. That freaking beeeeep beeeep beeeeep beeeeep sound that it makes will be in the center of my brain for days.
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Comments
I know its a little evil.....but its fun.
Or.....
In the grocery store looking at coffee...and telling mother out loud "they don't sell porn here, I'll have to take you downtown again, but we don't have time today."
I wish I'd thought of that one, my mom would have peed herself laughing.
When I had her committed to Topeka State Hospital I bough her a Garfield poster that had Garfield, Odie and Nermal on it. At the bottom it said Welcome to the Funny Farm.
Frivolity aside. I recall you mentioning issue, but don't recall details. I do hope your mother is doing better.
We were in her doctor's office and she was complaining about my aunt and uncle always fussing at her. The doctor was really sympathetic and started telling her to let them know she didn't need their advice.......I jumped in and said "yeah, they have a lot of nerve calling to make sure you have eaten something other than junk food and asking you to walk to your mailbox just to move around a bit each day." The doctor asked how far her mailbox was. Its about 25 yards. Then mother starts saying......"yeah, but that road".....and I say....."you mean the completely FLAT, wide open road with zero traffic on it?" Everyone in the room started laughing.
With mother it is a matter of time. She is going to insist everyone leave her alone....she is going to eat chips, dip, garbage food, sit in her recliner and take whatever medication she can get her hands on.....then start falling, getting sick, and end up back in the hospital. Its like a roller coaster ride and right now we are on the slow ride up the hill.
My brother has been taking charge of her medicine, but I noticed he left all of her pill boxes there at her house....so I guess he isn't going to keep doing it. He was filling four separate pill organizers with her meds for the month. He took two with him and left two there for her. He got the flu a couple weeks ago and it wasn't where he could go. It was a huge pain....he was sick....I had to go meet him an hour in the other direction and get her meds....then drive from him to her. I think he was "done" with it all after that.
She had home health nurses that came and would organize her pills.....but NOOOOO....she didn't like that. So here we are.
I hope the Virginia DMV was playing a trick on me when they issued my "life" handicapped parking permit. It is valid for four years. [:D]
I'd go in there and tell them they left off the zero and to make it 40 years!!!!
quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
I hope the Virginia DMV was playing a trick on me when they issued my "life" handicapped parking permit. It is valid for four years. [:D]
I'd go in there and tell them they left off the zero and to make it 40 years!!!!
I'm afraid they'll tell me they know something I don't know. [:D]
By the way, my dad and I would pull stuff like that on each other... We both loved it and we never had a dull moment when we were together [:D][:D][:D]
I remember once we were in a convenience store and he told me to grab one of their ready-made hamburgers and a drink and he'd pay for it and meet me outside. Well I started walking out the door because I figured he already paid.... And the and lady that works there yelled, saying STOP, YOU NEED TO PAY THAT BEFORE YOU LEAVE!!!!. And then said there was older man that was in here a minute ago saying that I were going to steal that stuff from them, and that she didn't believe him, but that low and behold, he was right... I almost crapped myself!!!! And no doubt the expression on my face was like this combined[:0][:0][:0][B)][B)][B)].... Thinking I was going to be arrested for shoplifting.
After a second or two she couldn't contain herself and she started laughing and said no, he had already paid for it but he told her to tell me that!!!
I looked over at the pickup and Dad's sitting there rolling in the seat, laughing[:D][:D][:D]
So now y'all know where I get my streak of meanness from[:D][:D][:D]
My Dad owned a service station back in the early 60s and one morning before he left for work I loaded up one of his cigarettes with a explosive cigarette load and put it back in toward the back of the pack. That afternoon mom got a call from dad and he was steaming hot. Said he was going to kill me when he got home. He said he was talking to a customer and the damn thing blew up in his face! Luckily by the time he got home that night he had cooled down and I only got a tongue lashing. [:D]
Once mom and I were sitting in the car back in the 50s with the windows down outside a store while dad went in to get something. I was in the back seat while some guy came walking out of the store in front of the car I gave him a wolf whistle and then ducked down behind the seat leaving mom sitting there like she had whistled at him. Mom was mortified as the guy turned and smiled and winked back at her. She was trying to explain to him that it wasn't her that whistled but I wouldn't get up from my hiding place to help her out. I don't think I ever saw her face that red. [:D][:D]That one didn't turn out so well. Thought she was going to beat me to death. [B)]
Another time back in the '50s I went with mom and dad one evening to look at a Harley that dad was going to buy. I was playing with the kids that were out in the driveway where dad was closing the deal on the motorcycle with the man and his wife. As we were running around the yard I decided to give dad a little punch in the gut as I went running by. He had eaten chili for lunch and he let out a fart that sounded like THUNDER! I knew this one was going to be bad but it was worth it. When we got back in the car I figured the killing was on. As dad started cussing at me mom commenced laughing and couldn't stop. Finally they were both laughing and I was saved. [:D] Of course I got the old "I'll kill you if you ever do something like that again" lecture but life was good. [:)]
Once dad went to the front door in his tee shirt and drawers to get the news paper. He looked out to see if anyone was around and then reached out to get the paper. Just as he got hold of it I shoved him out the door and locked it. I then went to the back door and locked it. [:D] Mom finally heard all the commotion and let him back in but I left out the other door as he came in and didn't come back for a long while. [:D]