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quaint colloquialims
nemesisenforcer
Member Posts: 10,513 ✭✭✭
My grandmother grew up in the Depression and has some very colorful sayings. I grew up around her and some other very earthy people who also had some wonderful analogies and ways to express themselves.
Examples:
"That guy's tougher than boiled owls."
"She was shaking like she was sh!^^!&g a peach seed."
"He's crazier than a sh!^house rat."
"That pothole's big enough to bury a convict in!"
"Useless as nipples on a frog." (hattip: Spankdaddykool)
Anybody have other relics of the language along these lines? The more obscure the better.
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
Examples:
"That guy's tougher than boiled owls."
"She was shaking like she was sh!^^!&g a peach seed."
"He's crazier than a sh!^house rat."
"That pothole's big enough to bury a convict in!"
"Useless as nipples on a frog." (hattip: Spankdaddykool)
Anybody have other relics of the language along these lines? The more obscure the better.
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
Comments
Ugly enough to run a haint up a thorn bush.
Useless as the teats on a boar hog. (One of Dad's favorites. He said it about me many times.)
FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com the best gun auction site on the Net! Email gpd035@sbcglobal.net
...the greatest thing since sliced bread...
...about as useful as a glass eye in a keyhole....
..about as dumb as a box of rocks...
I am the Egg-Man! I am the Egg-Man! I am the Walrus! Kooo-kooo-kee-chooo!
...busier than a cat covering up SH!&^%T !
...harder than times was in '29--usually a male saying[:D]
..(snow)A-hole deep to a tall Indian
..slow as molasses in winter
..(she is) built like a brick s--t-house
..ugly as a mud fence
(If is a big word) If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his A-- every time he jumped
Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see !!
NRA Life Member
Guess something was lost in the translation! [:o)][:o)][:o)]
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."
Sigmund Freud, "General Introduction to Psychoanalysis".
madder than a wet hen....
As nervous as a wh0re in church..
Molon Labe
I am the Egg-Man! I am the Egg-Man! I am the Walrus! Kooo-kooo-kee-chooo!
Goin off half cocked
Just curious....
I am the Egg-Man! I am the Egg-Man! I am the Walrus! Kooo-kooo-kee-chooo!
Only God can make a Boatswain's Mate!
"As nervous as a cat sh***ing peach seeds"
Pete
"Be kind to your neighbor, he knows where you live"
Only God can make a Boatswain's Mate!
Another funny little thing that I've used and everyone always looks at me funny is: "horse-a$$ing around!"
Handy as a pocket on a shirt.
Grandma's slow, but she's 97.
Semper Fi
Remember Ruby Ridge.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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Best thing since cotton underwear
Ugly enough to stop an eight day clock
Slicker than greased owl sh!^
"Neatest thing since t!ts"
"He's so ugly he'd make a train take a dirt road"
"Harder to hang on to than a soup sandwich"
99% of all lawyers make the rest look bad.
elevator doesn't go to the top floor
colder than a witch's t** in a brass brassiere
colder than a Norwegian well-digger's *
cold enough to freeze tha balls off a brass monkey ( this expression comes from a brass tray, called a monkey, that held cannonballs onboard a ship. When it got cold, the different rates of contraction in the brass monkey and the iron cannonballs caused the connonballs to pop off the brass monkey).
so-and-so is all sixes and sevens (crazy)
Chrome don't get you home.
"Handier'n' a handle on a kid"
"Uglier'n' a busted tooth"
"Neater'n a skeeter's peter" (I think this one was just some impromptu alliteration.)
"Hound-dog ugly, but Hell fer stout"
"Hotter'n a two-dollar pistol"
"I'd rather wire-brush a wildcat's * in a phone booth"
And the one I only learned to appreciate later in life
"Boy, you go after that like you was killin' snakes"
"When the going gets weird, the Weird turn pro"
Hunter S. Thompson"
I'm only wearing Black untill they make something darker
Jim Kammerer
the people above have very little to do
Jim Kammerer
Either I dont get it or its not funny?
Now that's funny. Seriously funny.
I also noticed the other "owl" sayings. It's official: there's an owl trend.
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
Nervousn as a queer at a weenie roast
As much fun as a bag full of puupies (or a bag full of dead puppies)
As much use as a popcorn fart
"When you choose the lesser of two evils, always remember that it is still an evil."
- Max Lerner
"Breath so bad it'd knock a buzzard off a manure truck."
"I'm gonna be all over you like ugly on an ape." (one of my mother's all-time favorites)
"So stupid he couldn't poor piss out of a boot if the directions were on the heel."
"Place is so dirty I wouldn't put a dead body in there."
(about something unpopular or inappropriate) "Went over like a turd in a punch bowl."
"You throw a dead cat from high enough it'll bounce too."
"If my aunt had bal$$, she'd be my uncle" (referring to the size of "IF")
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
Slicker than snot on a door knob.
About as graceful as a pig on ice.
"Deader than a door nail"
"You'd forget your head if it weren't screwed on"
"You'd make a better door, than a window"
"He was hollerin' like a stuck pig"
"He has a good head on his shoulders"
"In one ear and out the other"
If they don't trust us with guns, how can we trust them with the government?
quote: "Uglier than a tree full of owls"
Now that's funny. Seriously funny.
I also noticed the other "owl" sayings. It's official: there's an owl trend.
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
Add this one to your list, it's one of my favorites and can be massaged for a variety of situations:
He was drunker than a bald hoot owl[:D]
...crazier than a bald hoot owl, etc, etc
[:D]
Snot slinging drunk.
[:D]
Drunker than a sack full of azzholes
[:D]
quote:Drunker than a sack full of azzholes
My buddy in college one time got so drunk it inspired him to remark that he was "drunker than a dog's azzhole." Which begs 2 questions:
1) How drunk is a dog's azzhole?
and
2) When exactly did a dog's azzhole become the commonly accepted standard of measuring intoxication?
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
2)He's so tight(with money)you couldn't get a needle up his * with a jackhammer.
Never trust a government that doesnt trust its own citizens with guns
--Thomas Jefferson
she's so tall, she could kick start a 747
put those 2 guys IQ together and you could not get one good idiot.
National Rifle Association Endowment Member-Texas State Rifle Association Life
member
PM Ashley 681 AF & AM, York Rite Mason
"Don't try to teach Grandma how to suck eggs."
"like a ***** in the woodpile" (somethings's wrong)
"to beat the band" (done with vigor)
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
"Shanty town Irish"
"Pommy b*st*rd"
Useful as a horse with a kickstand
Light's on but nobody's home
Not playing with a full deck
Screw Allah & Have a Great Day!
Ben