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Joke : Mistress
HappyNanoq
Member Posts: 12,023
A married couple was enjoying a dinner at a fine restaurant, when a statuesque blonde walked over to their table, exchanged warm greetings with the husband and walked off.
"Who was that?" the wife demanded to know.
"If you must know," he coolly replied, "That was my mistress."
"Your mistress?" the wife replies, "I want a divorce!"
"Are you sure you want to give up a big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, fine furs, gorgeous jewelry and a vacation home in Mexico?"
The wife was very thoughtfull about this, and they continued dining in silence.
Finally the woman nudged her husband and said, "Isn't that Howard over there? Who's he with?"
"That's his mistress," her husband replied.
"Oh," she said, taking a bite of dessert. "Ours is cuter."
Regards
Peter E Jeppesen
Greenland.
Just owns a silenced 22LR Anshutz =o) .308Win Steyr Mannlicher - Scout
That's all I need, but not all I want.
Don't do anything I've allready done - That'd just be plain stoooopid. =o)
"Who was that?" the wife demanded to know.
"If you must know," he coolly replied, "That was my mistress."
"Your mistress?" the wife replies, "I want a divorce!"
"Are you sure you want to give up a big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, fine furs, gorgeous jewelry and a vacation home in Mexico?"
The wife was very thoughtfull about this, and they continued dining in silence.
Finally the woman nudged her husband and said, "Isn't that Howard over there? Who's he with?"
"That's his mistress," her husband replied.
"Oh," she said, taking a bite of dessert. "Ours is cuter."
Regards
Peter E Jeppesen
Greenland.
Just owns a silenced 22LR Anshutz =o) .308Win Steyr Mannlicher - Scout
That's all I need, but not all I want.
Don't do anything I've allready done - That'd just be plain stoooopid. =o)
Comments
The gene pool needs chlorine.
Nowdays in realiaty, here in the US usually the wife would end up keeping all the "stuff" if she has a halfway decent lawyer and get a big monthly alimony payment in addition to child support while the husband squeeks by driving a clunker of a car and living in a teeny 3rd floor apartment in a bad part of town ...
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Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
If you will blame gun makers for every shooting then blame car maker for every car accident.
Besides that - other than the joke was in English/American-english - it wasn't meant to "picture" any situation in a specific country.
However, now that you mention it, I just don't understand your law-system.
I was actually advised from the travel agency, when I considered to visit the US - "Be sure to have contacted a lawyer before you go there. Compared to Europe or the east, it's totally nutz overthere!".
Then I actually quite fast began looking for other places to travel to. Ended up in the chech republic - really really nice there. =o)
And for what I was told - it was a better deal. (no pun' intended!!)
Yes offcourse the wife is entitled to something - but I'd almost bet, that anywhere in Europe - the wife "only" gets half.
If she wants more, she'd have to show receets to show she bought it for her own money.
(that goes for the husband too offcourse, if he's the one who wants the divorce.!)
Usually people here, divide the stuff amongst them. They take what is theirs in the first place.
If in doubt, the one whose money paid for it - gets it.
Regards
Peter E Jeppesen
Greenland.
Just owns a silenced 22LR Anshutz =o) .308Win Steyr Mannlicher - Scout
That's all I need, but not all I want.
Don't do anything I've allready done - That'd just be plain stoooopid. =o)
Yeah, I knew it was a joke, but proud of our system ... not!
I've been on the short end of the stick ... after it was final the ex-wife moved 700 miles away, if I wanted to see my daughter I had to either go get her or provide airfare both ways ... yada yada yada ... and even when she (daughter) stayed with me over the summers I still had to pay child support (which ex managed to get raised almost every year, and is not accountable for 1 red cent as to how its spent) on top of paying for child care while she was here and anything she wanted to do (ie) summer camps, computer camps and bought her clothes while she was here ... I drove a clunker of a car and lived in a crapy teeny 3rd floor apartment in a bad part of town for several years ... funny thing though, I still managed to put 10K back for her collage while her mother hasn't saved a dime ... she even took a bankrupcy ... on the bright side, the pendlum is starting to swing back, fathers are getting more and more rights every year!
Sorry for ranting ...
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Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
Having read my own second message here - I realize it might have sounded kind of "negative" towards you.
I do apologize for that - it was NOT intended.
I'm sorry to hear about your marrige - but I am glad though, that you can see your kid. =o)
I don't mind the "ranting" - I guess it is entitled.
But having just written some emails in the danish language, and checking out this forum - it takes a while before my mind is totally set on english.
But once it is set - I think, write and understand everything (almost) in english.
Might have been my mood at the time... it tends to change a bit too slow sometimes.
MKirkland :
yup, that's also why my GF and me hesitate in getting married and the desire to have children isn't all to high. She's 27, I'm 26 - we both think there's plenty of time, don't wanna be too young.
She's back in Denmark. People know not to interfere or get in between. Come to think of it, I don't know what she'd want with me.. ??!!?? But nothing can spoil the relationship though. =o)
Might sound strange - gf/bf-relationship - one in Denmark, one 4 hours flight away in Greenland. But it works great, and sort of put us even closer together.
Thinking of it, I might be kind of a "minimalist" too - I'm happy by myself, have no direct need to visit family all the time (eventhough it's always fun in my family), have a wifey or GF.
That's why I love Greenland, it's a little far away from everything (gun laws are GRRRRREAT - or lack thereof!!) and best of all - you can be yourself, just take a walk and you're alone.
=o)
just had to let it out...
Just owns a silenced 22LR Anshutz =o) .308Win Steyr Mannlicher - Scout
That's all I need, but not all I want.
Don't do anything I've allready done - That'd just be plain stoooopid. =o)
If your gonna be stupid you better be tough !!
So the man thought for a moment and said, " Okay, for my third wish, beat me half to death!"
If you don't know your rights, you dont't have any!
Thanks - but it was one I found at http://www.gifanimations.com, they have a lot of nice animations there.
lokdok1 :
I heard that one in another version though..
where the man wished for money, women and a mild heart attack.
=o)
A little bit cruel, but a nice one though.
This country's teetering on the brink right now, but I can point to at LEAST several European countries that for all their cosmopolitan, Liberal, elitist attitudes, I still wouldnt live in for all the tea in China.
When a marriage fails, there is often enough blame to go around, but in my observations, the man is usually the more "guilty" by a factor of several times to the number of women who are the more "guilty." (I am not trying to start a debate about how often men get shafted in a divorce, because I know it happens. I also know there are some rotten wives out there.)
In most states, the non-monetary contribution of the primary homemaking party (usually the wife) is given weight in property settlements, as is the contribution of one party to the education and career of the other party. (For instance, my wife helped put me through law school, and put off her own post-graduate education for many years.)
mkirkland, I cannot imagine someone who is so afraid that he may get divorced and experience a possible economic hardship, that he will not get married and have children. I do not know whether it is selfishness or ignorance. As much as I love dogs, there is no substitute for the hug of a spouse or child.
While marraiges do fail, the rewards of home and family are more than worth the risk. I see clients who are childless and elderly trying to figure out what to do with their estates and wondering who will help them in their old age. In small towns, there may be neighbors and their church family that will try to help, but nothing takes the place of children or a spouse. Find a woman who wants to share that little ten-acre lot with you and make it a haven for your and your family. The rewards will be worth many times over the risk that your marriage may fail (it probably won't if you are a good husband and father) and you may suffer some economic hardship.
I was sitting here scratching my noggin wanting to respond to mkirkland but couldn't find the words.
While I was single for almost 10 years after my divorce, I did finally meet a fine young woman to whom after 3 years of dating we were married and 2 years later (at age 43) we had a daughter who just turned 2 yesterday ... and I couldn't be happier.
Often, what we think is important as young adults ... when we get older, we realize wasn't really all that important ... someone here has as signature line that says; quote:"The most important things in life aren't things" That sums it up pretty well.
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Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.