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SWEARING I like this one
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Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
I LOVE THIS ONE:
A 7 year old boy and his 4 year old brother were upstairs in their bedroom. The 7 year old was explaining that it was high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responded enthusiastically, the 7 year old hatched the plan. "When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I'll say 'Hell' and you say 'fat *'." The 4 year old happily agreed. As the two boys were seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walked in and asked her older son what he would like to eat for breakfast. The 7 year old replied, "Ah, hell, mom, I'll have some CHEERIOS." "WHACK!" The surprised mother reacted quickly. The boy ran upstairs, bawling and rubbing his behind. With a sterner voice, the mother then turned to her younger son, "And what would YOU like for breakfast?" "I don't know," the 4 year old blustered, "but you can bet your fat * it ain't gonna be Cheerios.
"A wise man is a man that realizes just how little he knows"
A 7 year old boy and his 4 year old brother were upstairs in their bedroom. The 7 year old was explaining that it was high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responded enthusiastically, the 7 year old hatched the plan. "When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I'll say 'Hell' and you say 'fat *'." The 4 year old happily agreed. As the two boys were seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walked in and asked her older son what he would like to eat for breakfast. The 7 year old replied, "Ah, hell, mom, I'll have some CHEERIOS." "WHACK!" The surprised mother reacted quickly. The boy ran upstairs, bawling and rubbing his behind. With a sterner voice, the mother then turned to her younger son, "And what would YOU like for breakfast?" "I don't know," the 4 year old blustered, "but you can bet your fat * it ain't gonna be Cheerios.
"A wise man is a man that realizes just how little he knows"
Comments
When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
Train Station ! ! !
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing
with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train
stop and her son saying:
"All of you sons of bitches who want off,
get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop!
And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on,
get your * in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in and told her son,
"We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you
to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS.
When you come out, you may play with your train but I want you
to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed
playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her
son say:
"All passengers who are disembarking the train,
please remember to take all of your belongings with you.
We thank you for riding with us today
and hope your trip was a pleasant one.
We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She hears the little boy continue:
"For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all
of your hand luggage under your seat.
Remember, there is no smoking on the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey
with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added:
"For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay,
please see the * in the kitchen."
***There's a difference between living and living well!***