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Husband pretends to c are

punchiepunchie Member Posts: 2,792
edited August 2002 in General Discussion
Chris Woodman (right) pretends to give a * about wife Jena's incessant babble.

Lafayette, Ga. -- Attempting to pacify his wife Jena's incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband Chris Woodman pretended to give a * Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects.
According to Woodman, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Lafayette home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after Woodman began watching television in an effort to unwind from work.

"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk sometimes," said Woodman, 30, who works as a field technician for a local civil engineering firm. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but Jena immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."

Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," Woodman pretended to give a * about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when Jena was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith.

"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," Woodman jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.

Woodman acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-* veneer was not a complete waste.

"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said Woodman, who admitted to mentally drifting "light-years away" from his wife's inane banter. "While Jena was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."

In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, Woodman mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1996 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a *.

Woodman said he often pretends to give a * about what his wife says.

"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said Woodman. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."

Added Woodman: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."

After six years of marriage, Woodman said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a * about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship.

"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' Jena would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said Woodman. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me."

"I pretend to give a * because I care," Woodman added.

July 2002




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AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY

Comments

  • IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    punchie, you are either: single, about to be, or your wife doesn't have access to your posts!
  • 4GodandCountry4GodandCountry Member Posts: 3,968
    edited November -1
    Now thats funny!

    When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
  • Judge DreadJudge Dread Member Posts: 2,372 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The progesterone bearing beings in this forum will be out there to get you.......

    Watch out !


    JD

    400 million cows can't be wrong ( EAT GRASS !!! )
  • TazmuttTazmutt Member Posts: 862 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Gawd ... I finally stop laughing enough to type ... this is the best post Ive seen any ANY board !!! I just had a long talk with my wife about this exact subject a short time ago and Im printing this to show her that I am not alone in this world .

    Punchie ... you made my night with this one
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    Okay.. I'll bite and respond.... Probably will regret it.. but at least you will read it.. MAYBE..

    Now for you men that dont listen.. or pretend to listen... you may be in for a shock to realize how much it really is an insult to the wife.. Its almost like saying to her.. .."what you are saying or talking about is not important enough for me to listen to".. So you tune us out, responding with an occasional grunt to give the effect that you are listening... DONT LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD.. WE ALREADY KNOW YOU DONT LISTEN....

    If you think what we say is not important enough to listen to..and I do mean everything.. then everything you say is NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR US TO LISTEN TO EITHER...
    Marriage is about sharing.. the good, bad or indifferent... we listen to your off color jokes... stories about hunting, fishing.. the guy down the street, work.. cars, trucks.. toys..girls... whatever...so you can bleedin well listen to us... Maybe one day, when we get fed up with being insulted, and fed up with listening to your mindless dribble, you will listen.. especially when we say... *kiss my *** as we walk out the door...
    So stick that in your pipe and smoke it...*sticking out my tongue as I say it... *LMAO*


    One woman's opinion

    Edited by - BlackRoses on 08/09/2002 22:50:49
  • 96harley96harley Member Posts: 3,992 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I dearly love my wife to pieces but she does the same thing when it comes to her job. It's like she's infatuated with it. I hope I don't unload on her about my day at work. Maybe I do to some extent but not every detail. Just curious, are you other guys in the same boat. Again, I love my wife with all I got, she's an angel to put up with me. (Just in case she sees this post she'll only remember the sentence prior to this.)
  • TazmuttTazmutt Member Posts: 862 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Harley - ABSOLUTELY ... on the way to hearing about her day, I hear what each and every other person in the office had for lunch, if they wore the same clothes as yesterday, etc ... Her telling me about going to lunch includes 6 completely unrelated "side trips"

    Maaaaaaaaaaaan, I am getting hard of hearing and I can at least use that for an excuse, occasionally. (Hearing loss partially due to being M60 gunner, being lefty got alot of concussion damage)
  • RugerNinerRugerNiner Member Posts: 12,636 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    BlackRoses;

    Somehow I don't feel your *LMAO* was Sincere.

    Remember...Terrorist are attacking Civilians; Not the Government. Protect Yourself!
    Keep your Powder dry and your Musket well oiled.
    NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
  • TazmuttTazmutt Member Posts: 862 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Think you are right Niner, RugerNiner ... Easy BlackRoses ... nice deep breathes ... Nuttin personal, just a gender thingy. Different ways of communicating.
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    Ruger... oh yes it was.. if I was really angry.. well lets just say... you would know it..I may be small, but I pack one h*** of a wallop...both verbally and physically...*





    One woman's opinion
  • 96harley96harley Member Posts: 3,992 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    TAZ, I am laughing so hard it ain't funny. She'll be down here to see what I'm into again. It's good to be in like company.
  • TazmuttTazmutt Member Posts: 862 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Ditto Harley - I had just gotten to work and lost it when I read this. Two girls from 2nd shift HAD to know what was so funny ... they left in a tussie after reading it. I was still laughing hehehe
  • pickenuppickenup Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Great post. Laughed all the way through. Still chuckling. Thanks ALL.

    If I knew then, what I know now.
  • punchiepunchie Member Posts: 2,792
    edited November -1
    BlackRoses
    Now don't go getting all offended. If the post struck a little to close to home I apologize. Just a small attempt at levity. Been married to this wife for 21+ years and she makes sure I listen.

    AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    punchie..
    Me offended?... *LOL... no way...hitting close to home?... no way again...
    I had read about this subject on the web, and took my response from about 15 women that responded to the one on the web...OH GOD>.. my secret is out... *LOL


    One woman's opinion
  • Judge DreadJudge Dread Member Posts: 2,372 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Female = feelings

    Male = brains


    Thats what is called oposed polarity ....

    Usualy ends in love , later to regrets and divorce

    IFFFFF! there is no VALANCE .....

    Valance = Respect


    JD



    400 million cows can't be wrong ( EAT GRASS !!! )
  • IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    BlackRoses, sorry, but when the same monologue is delivered daily for 7/365/"X" it does get tedious. I for one do not 'burden' my partner with hunting / fishing / whatever stories. My present wife is better than many, possibly most, but after the third time, even with my memory, it is redundant. I do listen, but Gawd, give me a break, I can predict it virtually verbatim, like those "fill in the blank" jokes. And when I'm told I'm not listening I *can* give it back verbatim. If I were not listening, I could not do that.
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