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New Vocabulary
nunn
Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,078 ******
NEW WORDS FOR 2002
Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. (I KNOW SOME OF THESE)
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids. (BEEN THERE, DONE THAT)
STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in
divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets. (THIS TOO)
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. (A VERY COMMON ANIMAL)
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.
VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On key. For Windows it's Ctrl, Alt, Delete simultaneously.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake (and its too late to go back)
SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the best gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net
Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. (I KNOW SOME OF THESE)
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids. (BEEN THERE, DONE THAT)
STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in
divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets. (THIS TOO)
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. (A VERY COMMON ANIMAL)
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.
VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On key. For Windows it's Ctrl, Alt, Delete simultaneously.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake (and its too late to go back)
SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the best gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net
Comments
Now THAT'S funny!
I just wish I had a dollar for every gun I wanted, then I'd be a rich man.
Hey wait a minute!!! ... I resemble some of those remarks ...
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I used to know everything, then I grew up!...(kinda)
kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
KIMBER: Pistol du jour
David, you cunning linguist, you.
Mudge the amused
I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
My experience in Corporate America involved more salmon days than not dealing with more seagull managers than not . . . . Now I have the proper buzzwords to describe it!