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Another blond joke
pickenup
Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
A blond is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory, The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM, there's a knock at the personnel manger's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about the new blond. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up.
The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backing up all over the place.
At the end of the live is the blond. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the blond, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you must have misunderstood me yesterday.
Your job is to give Elmo ---two-test--tickles."
If I knew then, what I know now.
The next day at 8:45 AM, there's a knock at the personnel manger's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about the new blond. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up.
The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backing up all over the place.
At the end of the live is the blond. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the blond, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you must have misunderstood me yesterday.
Your job is to give Elmo ---two-test--tickles."
If I knew then, what I know now.
Comments
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to
his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd
known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never
would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him
tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blond's wife.
The blond's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch. " [:o)]
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Dear Diary,Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor who installed them.
He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde
doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.? So, I told him just
what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year. ..namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! (I told him)
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.... He didn't call back.
>
Guess I won that stupid argument?
>
>A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy, she yelled,
>"We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four,
>but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!" "Very good," said her
>mother.
>
>"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked. "Yes, It's because your
>blonde."
>
>The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
>she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said
>up to D, but I said it up to G. See? A,B,C,D,E,F,G!" "Very good,"
>said her mother.
>
>"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde."
>The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy Mommy!"
>she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all
>the
>other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted up her tank top
>to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
>
>"Is it because I'm Blonde, Mommy?"
>"No, Honey, It's because you're 24."
I work for a Blonde and thank god she has a sense of humor.
Nil Illegitimus Carborundum
Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....