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My wife is making me post this joke,don't blame me
Big Sky Redneck
Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
male bashing Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Q. Why do little boys whine? A. Because they're practicing to be men. Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolvearound him. OR B. Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? A. Because not one will stop and ask directions. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A. To stop the snoring before it starts. Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the primary difference between men and women... A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants everywoman to satisfy his one need. Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
If you want my guns you will have to kill me first. I was born free and to take that from me you better be ready to fight.
If you want my guns you will have to kill me first. I was born free and to take that from me you better be ready to fight.
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If you can't fix it with a hammer, take it to a mechanic. will270win@aol.com ~Secret Select Society Of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
The older I get, The better I was!!!
SSgt Ryan E. Roberts, USMC