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Lies?
bgjohn
Member Posts: 2,275 ✭✭✭✭✭
I have never told the truth in my life![8]
JM[B)]
JM[B)]
Comments
I wear striped condoms
That's what I used to say, too, until they realized I wasn't wearing a condom. [:0]
quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
I wear striped condoms
That's what I used to say, too, until they realized I wasn't wearing a condom. [:0]
better go to the dr. then
No, those jeans don't make your butt look fat...
I'll love you forever....
Reminds me of a story by Mark Twain, I can't remember the name,
Wish I could remember the ending. It was good, though.[:)]
Found it.
http://www.mtwain.com/Was_It_Heaven?_Or_Hell?/0.html
i've only had one beer officer
Officer: How many beers have you had?
Me: Oh, about 13 or 14.
My friend: You are goin' to jail kid!
JM[:(]
If you can't feel the music; it's only pink noise!
The check's in the mail...
No, those jeans don't make your butt look fat...
I'll love you forever....
Reminds me of a story by Mark Twain, I can't remember the name, but two elderly spinsters were living with another female relative and her daughter. Elderly spinsters held a strict regard for truth, never, ever, ever told a lie, to the point of being brutally honest. Young daughter's mother was dying from something contangious, typhoid, cholera, I can't remember what. Young daughter contracted it, and was dying as well. Two spinsters were contemplating telling the ill mother that her daughter was dying, when the doctor stepped in and read them the riot act, telling them they are the worse sort of well-intending people possible, and that it was their obligation to ease this woman's suffering of the inevitability that the daughter was dying. So they dutifully made up elaborate scenarios about where the daughter was and what she was doing, and why she could not see her.
Wish I could remember the ending. It was good, though.[:)]
Been told the first many times,......and have recited the second a couple![:0]
Self preservation does have an impact![:D]
Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
Former NSSA All American
Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
MO, CT, VA.
it's ok i'm on the pill[:(!]
You have heard that one too?
Was it Peg?[:0][:D]
quote:Originally posted by 1911a1fan
it's ok i'm on the pill[:(!]
You have heard that one too?
Was it Peg?[:0][:D]
bingo!, and little 1911 2.0 was made
quote:Originally posted by Marc1301
quote:Originally posted by 1911a1fan
it's ok i'm on the pill[:(!]
You have heard that one too?
Was it Peg?[:0][:D]
bingo!, and little 1911 2.0 was made
At least it was the current version![8D]
The checks in the mail
Iv'e had a vasectomy
Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
Former NSSA All American
Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
MO, CT, VA.
the lies you tell are not true ![:D]
Don't forget, there are true lies and DAMN lies!
JM[;)]
nope dong...i dont fish. all legit. im putting them up. i already have some up. go look for yourself.[:I]
The three greatest lies.
The checks in the mail
Iv'e had a vasectomy
The third being that you know how to count?
Besides, I did have a vasectomy. I'm a sports model.[^][8D]
Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
Former NSSA All American
Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
MO, CT, VA.
all women can cook.
and clean
Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
Former NSSA All American
Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
MO, CT, VA.
It's really hard for me to get pregnant.
(The first one was one woman, and the second another. 99% sure the first one was feeding me a line of bull. As the second one had two kids, 99% sure about her as well. Thank the Lord nothing happened, and thank the very good people at Trojan.)
It's only been shot twice.
It's a very desireable model.
That should buff right out when you get home.
I'm real easy to deal with, so you don't need a receipt.
We'll get right back to you.
Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
Former NSSA All American
Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
MO, CT, VA.