do you know me?

pops401

I have been to the White House
In fact, I have been to Russia and in the hands of Putin.
I speak many languages.
I leave my mark wherever I go.
I work best if I'm given a hand
I am not prejudice, for I am of many colors.
I have signed many important documents.
You all have seen me on TV

WHO AM I?

pops401

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

pops401

99.9% will not know me.
In fact 100% will not know me.

pops401

Once upon a time the government had a huge, abandoned scrap yard in the middle of the desert.A Congressman discovered its existence, and worried that someone may steal from it at night. So they created a Night Watchman Position and hired a man for the job.Then Congress asked, "How can the Watchman do his job without proper instruction?"So they created a Planning Department and hired two more people: a Documentation Specialist to write the instructions, and a trainer to teach the Night Watchman how to watch.Then Congress said, "How will we know the Night Watchman and the Documentation Specialist are doing their tasks correctly?"So they created a Quality Control Department and hired two more people: One to do efficiency studies and one to write reports.Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created positions for an accountant, a Payroll Officer, and a Manager to keep track of everyone's time, and hired three more people.Then Congress said, "Who's going to be accountable for all of these people?"So they created an Administrative Section and hired three more people: an Administrative Officer, an Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.Then Congress said, "We have had this facility in operation for one year, and we are $22,000 over budget! We must cut back our overall costs!"So they laid off the Night Watchman

alledan

That's our government alright! He He!