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AT&T (Revenge On Telemarketers)

Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
edited November 2001 in General Discussion
AT&T (Revenge On Telemarketers) One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this: Me: Hello AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes This is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please? Me: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. Me: OK, hold on. At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting. Me: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? Me: May I ask who is calling please? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron? Me: Yes, is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: The phone company? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: I thought you said this was AT&T. AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company. Me: I already have a phone. AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron. Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling. When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent. AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering. Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir that's right! 24 hours a day! Me: 7 days a week? AT&T: That's right. Me: 365 days a year? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing! AT&T: We think so! Me: That's quite a sum of money! AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it ads up. Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance? AT&T: Excuse me? Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T: What are you talking about? Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute. Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T? AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but...... Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me! AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for..... Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please! AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary. Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later? AT&T: What? Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on. So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food: Supervisor: Mr. Byron? Me: Yeth? Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program. Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is. I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort. Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you. Me: Thank you. I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone. AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan? Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother... AT&T: (click) by Robert Byron
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Comments

  • drachdrach Member Posts: 130 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Beautiful, absolutely inspired.
    Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentis telum est ("A sword is never a killer, it's a tool in the killer's hands") ~~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the younger" ca. (4 BC - 65 AD)
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  • IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    ROFLMAO! I will definitely use a variant of this next time. Just hanging up the phone was losing its satisfaction factor.
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  • travelortravelor Member Posts: 442 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I say to the uninvited caller "are you trying to buy something? (no..) how did you get this unlisted number? (our computer dialed it...) tell your computer that if I wanted anything it has for sale, then I would be calling it. This is an unpublished number, and I want it removed from your computer. Furthermore, if it dials my number again, I will have your computer sued for harrassment. Is that clear? Better yet, let me talk to your computer......
    keep lots of extra uppers for your ar..you can change often enough to keep the thing from over heating...what ever caliber fits the moment..~Secret Select Society of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
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  • 7mm_ultra_mag_is_king7mm_ultra_mag_is_king Member Posts: 676 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If you have Verizon for your phone company ask them about call intercept. It works great and can be funny as hell because you can send messages back to them and block their number to never call you again. When they call they get a neat little pre recorded message telling them to kiss off. and it works for anybody who calls. They also give you an access number for direct calls from people you want to talk to. NEAT
    when all else fails........................
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  • wundudneewundudnee Member Posts: 6,105 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Bubba, If I ever offend you in any way please let me know right away. I wouldn't want you mad at me. wundudnee
    " Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects" Will Rogers
    standard.jpg
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  • Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November -1
    wundudnee, HAHAHA......
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  • Ms. BeastMs. Beast Member Posts: 496 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I love it! I will have to try it next time. I did have a caller id that blocked numbers and told them nicely to stop calling, got broke and can't get another one!
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  • Gene B.Gene B. Member Posts: 892 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I thought your name was Joel.
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  • Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November -1
    In my James Bond tux..and PPK, twirling around my finger..My name is Joel, Bubba Joel..
    I wouldn't mind being the last man on earth-just to see if all of those girls were telling me the truth....
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  • varmit huntervarmit hunter Member Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Great one bubba.I usualy ask them, does it matter that I just filed chapter 11????.
    A unarmed man is a subject.A armed man is a citizen.
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  • Mark IIMark II Member Posts: 247 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I wish I had read this 2 hours ago. I just hung up on them, and look at all the fun I missed!
    "To meet with ill fortune is to meet with good fortune. To meet with submission is to meet an enemy."
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  • .250Savage.250Savage Member Posts: 812 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Brilliant, positively brilliant! I usually don't have the patience to deal with these pissants, say "No thank you" and hang up, but I just might try this next time... I hate telemarketers.
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  • zombiedawgzombiedawg Member Posts: 21 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    That is hilarious!!
    RANGE ME
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  • arthur wellingarthur welling Member Posts: 66 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    My response is different, and probably not as fun.I ask for their companies name, address, and phone number before I'll speak with them.This always sets them back, and they ask why I want it. I reply "No reputable, honest company would ever be afraid to give out their Name, adress, and phone number. Let me speak to your supervisor."IF they don't just hang up (90% do) and IF they get a 'supervisor' on the line, I ask for the same thing, and again they alwaysask why.To the supervisor I respond: "The State Attourney General's Office said I should get you name, adress, and phone number when you call so it can be investigated with the rest."100% hang up at this point.I usually never deal with this anymore. We have caller ID. Blocked ID's don't get answered.
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  • REBJrREBJr Member Posts: 1,210 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My brother used to be a telemarketer, and said that it doesn't bother them if you hang up, they get that all the time anyway.He says to really pi$$ them off you ask questions like:1.) ask for the name of the president of the company they are soliciting for, they have to look it up,2.) ask how close they are to their intended goal in sales ( they close the book on the pres)3.) ask what tax bracket the president of their contracting company is in ( again, look it up)How many board members, names and tax brackets4.) anything else you can think of, just ask them out of order so they always have to pull out different books to look up this info, and they are required to tell this info!he said by about the third question, they will hang up on you! but if not be sure to tell them you're not interested after all the questions- Ralph
    Nothing very, very good or very, very bad lasts for very, very long.
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  • 22WRF22WRF Member Posts: 3,385
    edited November -1
    I just ask them for their home phone number. When they ask why and I tell them, so I can call them back at their dinner time. End of call
    Home of the Blue Angels, P'colaSemper Adveho AbsconditusNever miss a good chance to shut up (Will Rogers)
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  • salzosalzo Member Posts: 6,396 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    My wife got al call from AT andT, and I answered. They asked for my wife using her maiden name. I told them I was her husband, and that we were not interested in anything. She said to me "well I appreciate that but may I speak to your wife please?". I hung up.Whenever any of the phone companies call, I tell them I do not do business with companies that contribute to anti-gun/anti freedom causes.They cant argue with that.I also frequently get solicitations from newspapers, and I tell them politely that there paper is to liberally biased for anyone in this household. Again, they dont have anything to say except "thank you" after that.
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  • gruntledgruntled Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I just lay the phone down & let them talk,come back a couple of minutes later & on therare occasions they are still there say something & lay it down again. However I dothink I may try your idea out. Damn thingsare getting worse, now they call & no one is there & they have a recording asking you to wait. Some even have a recorded spiel.
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