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Tux or not to Tux

punchiepunchie Member Posts: 2,792
edited August 2003 in General Discussion
Serious question for those familiar with wedding etiquette. Youngest son (26) is getting married for the first time on 4 Oct. He, best man, and groomsmen will be in tuxedos as will father of the bride. Well, Swwbo (she who will be obeyed) wanted to know when I was going to get fitted for my tux. When pigs fly was not the answer she was expecting but I explained being as how I was not directly involved (or at least visible) in the wedding party the ol Brooks Bros suit would be just fine.

HELP!!! HELP!! What is the correct thing to do? Really don't want to commit a faux paux but I really don't want to wear a tux either.

AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY

Comments

  • daddodaddo Member Posts: 3,408
    edited November -1
    You will not be giving the bride away- wear a nice suit.
    The father of the bride gives away his daughter and dresses as quo.
  • dustyholdustyhol Member Posts: 282 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    What time is the wedding?

    "Practice is the best of all instructors."

    Publilius Syrus
  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    When my youngest got married, both fathers wore tux's...generally the grooms family picks up the tab for the tux's. Brides family takes care of the dresses and rest of the wedding expenses. You'll look a little odd in the wedding pictures if everyone else is in a tux and you're not. Humor her a little, it's only money...[:D]
  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,593 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Rembrandt has it just right. Particularly if the wedding is after 6:00 pm a Tux is appropriate.

    My heros have always killed cowboys.
  • DancesWithSheepDancesWithSheep Member Posts: 12,938 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Rembrandt

    When my youngest got married, both fathers wore tux's...

    This is not only an amazing biological anomaly, it is patriarchal haute couture!
  • bigal125bigal125 Member Posts: 1,136 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    This advice coming from a couple of guys who run around in old smoking jackets? Saxon Pig has an acronym for that: TIFWIW!

    However, according to those who know about these things (that would be my better half!), the duo are, unfortunately for you, correct. Especially if the wedding is a late afternoon/evening ceremony.

    Bottom line is, though, if you want your marriage to last longer than your son's....humor her. You know....SWWBO![:D]

    Oh yeah, the usual standard disclaimers apply, especially JMHO.

    Big Al
  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    DWS, I'd say it has more to do with sentence structure than a biological anomaly...[:D]
  • HangfireHangfire Member Posts: 3,010 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I was married in shorts and barefoot on Catalina Island. The marriage didn't last, but I was comfortable. I've encouraged my Daughter to elope when the time comes.

    Gun control is a steady hand
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    You ask the bride..yes the bride...what she wants...she will let you know if she wants tux or suit....if you ask your son, he will just ask her anyways...so ask..and btw...make sure her father is dressed the same...if you wear a tux then so does he...ooooops..I posted that before I read that he will be wearing one...so with that, I would say yes...you wear a tux...and you will be visible...think of all the pics that are going to be taken...and are you going to give a toast at the reception?...speeches?...
    But in all honesty..its up to the bride what you wear....

    Cute_skunk.gif

    You can't see me, my eyes are closed..

    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
  • DancesWithSheepDancesWithSheep Member Posts: 12,938 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Rembrandt

    DWS, I'd say it has more to do with sentence structure than a biological anomaly...

    Heck, there goes my Nobel. At any rate, when I was growing up, we were so poor that when we got hemorrhoids, we had to rent a Tucks.
  • gruntledgruntled Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Went through it last week. Silly custom, wish I had known about the six o'clock rule as I would have raised a bigger fuss. Would have made a lot more sense to have used the rental money to help buy a new suit.
    Are you sure about the groom's parents paying for the rental? If so I will have to ask they for my money next time I see them.
  • bmbuzlrbmbuzlr Member Posts: 667 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Just ask what the "color" of the wedding is .ie; cumberbunds, bowties, and bridesmade dresses, wear a grey suit and a tie that matches the "color".

    "The Tree of Liberty must be watered by the blood of tyrants."
  • TOOLS1TOOLS1 Member Posts: 6,133
    edited November -1
    Its your son thats going to have to live with her. You may as well be comfortable[;)][:D]
    TOOLS

    General TOOLS RRG

    Don't go blaming the beer. Hank Hill

    When I was a child, I thought as a child. But now that I am grown, I just wish I could act like a child and get away with it.
  • ToolbabeToolbabe Member Posts: 1,118 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    dont listen to tools he is a pill

    at my first wedding my "soon to be an ex", his father who enjoyed to get as much attention as possible for himself wore a suit I was angry and felt as though he had no respect for me or his own son. This very quickly corresponded to his son having no respect for me either!

    weddings are times we celebrate our love and fidelity to one's choice "for life" and in the same respect, we dont wear only our pajamas to the market or slippers to go swimming we wear fine clothing to denote this special occoasion. If it were a bacyard affair or a hushed quick ceramony you would come and be there as you are but...well, try to think of it as families coming together to be happy for thier children!

    ...if your son asked for food would you give him a stone? this is now your daughter and she is asking you to make her happy and put on a suit would you give her a stone as one of your first gifts????[:0]

    is it going to kill you to get stiff?? or is it just you being stiff???

    Master mess sargent RRG
    Flying-witch18.gif
    Oh my God! is the beginning of a prayer, not a one liner!
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  • mudgemudge Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Wear the damn tux. A tux will make you look like a million bucks. I'm sure the rest of the wedding party has never seen a million bucks, so I guess that means you'll look like something they've never seen before.(Did I say that right?[}:)])
    Really...WEAR THE TUX!!! I'll bet you'll be glad you did. After all, it's only another suit. It doesn't mean you're any less MACHO!!!

    Mudge the haberdasher

    I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
  • RugerNinerRugerNiner Member Posts: 12,636 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    When the Tuxedo first came out it didn't have any pockets in it.
    The Cummerbund was where the man put his Opera and Theater tickets.
    If you wear a Cummerbund make sure the folds are up.
    It is a common misconception that the folds go down.

    sniper1.gif Remember...Terrorist are attacking Civilians; Not the Government. Protect Yourself!
    Keep your Powder dry and your Musket well oiled.
    NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
  • Night StalkerNight Stalker Member Posts: 11,967
    edited November -1
    Punchie,

    So... when you getting fitted for the tux?[}:)][:D]

    NSDQ!

    "Nobody dislikes war more than warriors, but we value the causes of peace so highly that we will not duck a war in an effort to get a lasting peace." -General Daniel "Chappie" James
  • madmarc0madmarc0 Member Posts: 862 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Tux

    Always a classic

    Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun has!
  • punchiepunchie Member Posts: 2,792
    edited November -1
    Thank you all for your collective knowlege and assistance. I WILL GET FITTED FOR THE TUX THIS WEEK!!! I feel quite surely that my social director (Swwbo) will make sure things are coordinated between the two families and I will not stand out like a sore thumb. So I guess I will see what a gorilla in a monkey suit actually looks like. If I don't break all the photographic equipment, I'll try to post a picture afterwards.

    BR
    Thanks for the slap on the noggin to bring me back to my senses. It is truely the Brides day and I should have realized it instead of being self-centered.



    AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY
  • Ronald J. SnowRonald J. Snow Member Posts: 1,346 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Daughter got married a while back, fancy affair with ALL the trimmings and lots of books/magazine articles on the matter. According to WeddingMagazine.com regarding etiquette for the father of the groom:

    The father of the groom traditionally is NOT a member of the wedding party and is not required to dress as the rest of the wedding party, though often does, which is also perfectly OK. Some basic rules do apply here. 1. If you plan to be in the receiving line at the reception you should wear cloths fitting the bridal party. 2. If you participate in the paying of the wedding/reception (not just the traditional rehearsal dinner) then you ARE a member of the wedding party and should dress accordingly. 3. If neither #1 or #2 above apply- wear a dark suit applicable. (end of quote)
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Member Posts: 1,074 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Think of it this way,

    YOU will look good, not for the bride, groom, or SWWBO, for you. In fact tell SWWBO "Dam*, I look good. Play the conceit, its fun [:D]

    Besides, its your son. If a tux makes his side of the marrage look good, what the heck.

    Those people who see nothing but grey areas, no black and white, are lost in the fog.
  • ruger270manruger270man Member Posts: 9,361 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by BlackRoses
    You ask the bride..yes the bride...what she wants...she will let you know if she wants tux or suit....if you ask your son, he will just ask her anyways...so ask..and btw...make sure her father is dressed the same...if you wear a tux then so does he...ooooops..I posted that before I read that he will be wearing one...so with that, I would say yes...you wear a tux...and you will be visible...think of all the pics that are going to be taken...and are you going to give a toast at the reception?...speeches?...
    But in all honesty..its up to the bride what you wear....



    Why you always using so many ellipses, make my head spin.

    ________________
    Heston for prez.
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  • paboogerpabooger Member Posts: 13,953
    edited November -1
    Take it from the voice of experience, don't spend any money on the wedding, don't buy any gown or rent any Tux's. Do it cheap and go somewhere nice on the honeymoon! Better yet spend the money on a gun!!!![:D]

    pa.gif

    To Ride, shoot straight,and speak the truth
    This was the Ancient law of Youth
    Old times are past, old times are done:
    But the Law runs true, O little son!
  • bigdaddyjuniorbigdaddyjunior Member Posts: 11,233
    edited November -1
    Wear something that says,'you are marrying into a family that has tons of class and plenty of cash and don't bother asking cause the answer is no'. We had two receptions. One for the Great Aunts and tea totalers and a second for the jeans and tee shirt crowd with an open bar and a two hundred pound roast hog. Guess which one was more fun?

    Big Daddy my heros have always been cowboys,they still are it seems
  • mudgemudge Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Punchie....Post pictures? Of you in a tux?
    What's second prize?
    Besides, I thought you were in the witness protection program.

    Mudge the queasy

    I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
  • punchiepunchie Member Posts: 2,792
    edited November -1
    Mudge
    Shhhhhh, don't tell everyone. They probably wouldn't recognize me now anyway. Yes, you are right, posting pics probably wouldn't be a good idea. The prize is that Swwbo and I will finally have a house to ourselves.

    AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY
  • gruntledgruntled Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    By the way proper name is "She who MUST be obeyed". From BBC TV series "Rumpole of the Bailey".
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