In order to participate in the GunBroker Member forums, you must be logged in with your GunBroker.com account. Click the sign-in button at the top right of the forums page to get connected.

Son in law pursuing mother in law, advice needed

v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
edited May 2006 in General Discussion
My brother's son in law has been trying to put the make on my brother's wife for up to ten years. She is flattered by his "harmless" attentions. He's had a snoot full and now there's a family feud. Brother's on fire and wants to talk to the son in law
who wont return his calls to discuss. The issue is disruptive to the extended family and needs resolution.
I'd like to help and ask your best thoughts on the subject.
Please, serious replies only.

Comments

  • mondmond Member Posts: 6,458
    edited November -1
    sounds like the guys got it wrong..its the woman that needs sorting!! what she playing at, she a wind up merchant ?? what woman makes her guy feel so low ?? mmmmmmmmmm.
    he should be no.1 !!
  • AdironduckAdironduck Member Posts: 314 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Ditto what Mund said.
  • cbxjeffcbxjeff Member Posts: 17,633 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You asked for serious replies. This is a serious reply though you may not believe it.

    10 years!!!

    1. Your brother doesn't need to talk to the kid. He need to kick
    is a**.

    2. Your brother and his wife needs to talk to a marriage consoller
    or a lawyer.

    Good luck
    It's too late for me, save yourself.
  • bpostbpost Member Posts: 32,669 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    What would Dr. Laura say??????????

    Me thinks the brother's wife has the power to STOP the borish behaviour of the young man.

    I would also think that your neice would have a problem with her hubby putting the make on her mom.

    In any event he has a problem, the females need to address his actions.

    My .02
  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,518 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It sounds to me like something has triggered the hostility. After 10 years has someone said something and it has surfaced? ( Oh.. now I know when Joe and you were sneaking around when I worked nights )
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The niece became very upset that her father closely watched her husband during a Christmas visit and again after Easter. She recently told her father she can't stand his "glaring" at her husband and that he is not welcome in their house. The issue needs to be settled peacably as there are grandchildren involved. My brother doesn't want his wife anywhere near the son in law and wouldn't want his wife to visit her daughter and grandchildren alone. The niece spread the issue among her brothers, compounding the discord.
    Visits with the grandchildren will be a problem.
    Brother saw a counseller who was not in favor of him telling his daughter all he knows and has witnessed as it would be injurious to their marriage. I felt father and daughter need to have a meeting.
    His wife is treating this business as paranoia which needs professional help.
    This business needs resolution before the cement hardens.
  • dclocodcloco Member Posts: 2,967
    edited November -1
    It takes TWO to tango. BOTH are, unfortunately, guilty.
  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,518 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Family secrets. The neice is stirring the pot. Has she spoke to the wife confindentally ? Maybe she is wanting $$ to keep her mouth shut.
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Select fire. Yes, the son in law took to long kisses whenever there was a visit. When brother objected, she dodged the kisses. Son in law
    being resourceful, took to kissing her on the neck and on the third visit, the neck kiss was interrupted by my brother who said "No kissing on the neck, please". After that visit, brother had a knock down drag out fight with his wife about this behavior and her acceptance of it. She spoke to her daughter about my brother's paranoia and got first licks in.
    This triggered the family feud.
  • zipperzapzipperzap Member Posts: 25,057
    edited November -1
    d20194ee.jpg

    Too little too late, sweetheart![:D]
  • amsptcdsamsptcds Member Posts: 679
    edited November -1
    the son in law is definitely out of line.
    bad son in law, bad husband
  • cbxjeffcbxjeff Member Posts: 17,633 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Paranoia??? "No kising on the neck please"! 35, I'm starting to question your whole story. That behavior would never fly in (most) of Indiana.
    It's too late for me, save yourself.
  • RosieRosie Member Posts: 14,525 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nine years and eleven months years ago I would be minus one wife. She could have stopped it anytime she WANTED to.
  • DEG305DEG305 Member Posts: 469 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Are yous guys from West Virginia or Louisanna? [:D]
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My brother says there's no evidence of any slipping around but the relationship appears closer than their limited exposure to each other would warrant.
    This individual likes to sequester other women in my family in the kitchen. I overheard him using surprising obscene language to another sister in law and wonder what he did to develop such a relationship. He also followed that womans'daughter into her kitchen and closed the door. I told that brother and he broke it up and forgot the incident. He was unaware the subject individual spent a lot of time at their house to see the mother,her daughters or all three. Junior spreads himself around. He's about 6'4" and 250+ pounds.
    This was reported to me by a neighbor who inquired how Junior's marriage was going.
    I want to help with this problem if I can since we're all involved and family gatherings are coming up very soon.
    Constructive advice is welcome.
    I think we've agreed on where blame lies.
  • drobsdrobs Member Posts: 22,620 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sounds like a Jerry Spring episode.

    If I were you I'd stay out of it.
  • HighballHighball Member Posts: 15,755
    edited November -1
    Not much a man can do when a woman starts slipping the threads of the marriage bonds.
  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,518 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Wow, what a balled up mess. The wife I would bet has been with the son in law. Her husband isn't stupid cause her actions give her away. The brother in law has a girlfriend ? If not find him one immediately eliminate the problem.
  • p3skykingp3skyking Member Posts: 23,916 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    What have YOU observed? So far, you've said, "he told me' or "I was told". After 10 years, I figure you would have noticed something on your own. Maybe your brother is nuts. Does he suffer from ED? If your brother is the only one out of this complaining, maybe he's the only one with a problem.

    Best to stay out of it.
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    There is no brother in law. It gets confusing because several branches of my family are impacted by this guy.
    Junior has shown inappropriate behavior with wives and young daughters of two of my brothers. Junior is the son in law of one of the brothers. The extent of involvement is not established. He's apparently a charmer to the ladies coming from a family with a certifiable mother,an alcholic father, two possibly sane sisters and one nutty sister. He himself is is an odd duck, not good in an extended discussion; sort of a one liner with men but likes to get in closer than appropriate with the women.
    It's very disruptive to at least seven people in my family.
    Disintegration of family ties of the many people involved is not a desirable outcome. Some accommodations will have to be made.
    Since my brother is too affected to think clearly, he asked my help.
    I'm thinking of proposing he confront Junior to cease and desist from anything but formal contact with Brothers' wife to include prolonged staring and loving looks, the past will be set aside and the family can resume as a family. If not, serious consequences will result.
    What do you think.
  • p3skykingp3skyking Member Posts: 23,916 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I think the ratings for the Jerry Springer Show would be higher than the KKK/black brawl they had on there.[:o)]

    Do ALL the womenfolk enjoy the attention? If the men are so insecure in their relationships, perhaps something should be said as a group. I have a hard time comprehending how this has gone on for ten years with nothing being said until now.

    Bring it up at the Fourth of July shindig. It's hard to fight when your covered in barbeque sauce.
  • toolsforfoolstoolsforfools Member Posts: 1,285 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I thought Otis on The andy griffith show had a (SNOOT FULL)[:D][:D]
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I saw the above at family gatherings. My brother made me aware of Juniors behavior so I watched for it. Brother has an easy nature and took it philosophically until the neck kissing. He doesn't own guns
    and would not get physical. He either tries not to see or not to believe. I don't know which but wants to make some kind of negotiated
    settlement to make it go away.
  • tccoxtccox Member Posts: 7,379 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    What a guy!! Best I could ever do was a mom and two sisters. Tom
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Very good. The best I could do was three girls in one day. The last one sent me a Dear John during my overseas tour probably because I fell asleep on her.
    I could joke at this too if I weren't so close to it but the onus is on me to help come up with a real world answers.
    Thanks to those who treated this problem seriously.
  • vol fanvol fan Member Posts: 301 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Call 1-800-SPRINGER
  • minitruck83minitruck83 Member Posts: 5,369
    edited November -1
    This didnt stop after the first protest?
    Its already been said! "the women can stop it" anytime they want. Seems like she don't want. (it to stop)

    Only advice I might give you is to stay out of it. You will end up with everybody mad at you. (And dont let him near your wife, galfriend, or daughters!) A C-hound like that isn't worth going to jail over. Remember an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

    Allen
  • spryorspryor Member Posts: 9,155
    edited November -1
    I can't imagine not making it clear from day one that this would NOT be tolerated. If they didn't get the hint the first time, they surely would the next!! I tend to nip all bs in the bud.
  • cowboy636454cowboy636454 Member Posts: 104 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    a lot of wall to wall talking? should of kicked a** 10 yr. ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![:(!]
  • bobskibobski Member Posts: 17,866 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    oh geesh louise...its in virginia.
    ill bet its in the western part, huh!?
    dang...come down off them thar mountains and join society.
    feudin' this and that over mary lou....
    dang abner. go back to church and learn em all the right way, reckon?
    Retired Naval Aviation
    Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
    Former NSSA All American
    Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
    MO, CT, VA.
  • WarbirdsWarbirds Member Posts: 16,934 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Anything I would recomend would probably be illegal. Maybe you could take the guy for a ride, out into the woods, and persuade him that the only way back is to walk, and if he doesn't want to try walking on a pair of broken legs, he needs to start acting like an adult. Of course things like kidnapping and assault come to mind if you followed my "advice" and had to later explain it to a jury.
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Seriously though, does anyone see how this can be put back together?
    There are sore feelings all around and the culprit who was shot was the messinger, not the perpetrator.
    Some think if Junior's wife is apprised of the extent of her trusted husband's behavior, the result would be a divorce.
    So, it seems to be a lose-lose situation because Junior isn't returning telephone calls to take his medicine.
    An adage recalled from German class stated: No answer is in itself an answer.
    Junior is of Swedish-American parentage, from New Jersey who departed that state to avoid prosecution for 80ksworth of tax evasion.
    Of course the tax people could be put on his case but that would also punish his family.
  • dcon12dcon12 Member Posts: 32,038 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Somethings should not be salvaged. The titanic is the other one. Don
  • Queen of SwordsQueen of Swords Member Posts: 14,355
    edited November -1
    The word "enmeshment" comes to mind.
    My opinion?
    There ain't no fix'n this mess. Everyone involved (even you, perhaps) has got some sort of stake in the continuing drama, and so it will continue.
    My advice?
    Stay as far away as you can comfortably. These are the choices that people make. Not your fault, dude. Not you problem.

    Remember you CAN pick your friends, though.
  • beneteaubeneteau Member Posts: 8,552 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sounds like you and your brother(s) need to give this jerk an old fashion military "blanket party".
    0M9InwN.gif[
  • p3skykingp3skyking Member Posts: 23,916 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by beneteau
    Sounds like you and your brother(s) need to give this jerk an old fashion military "blanket party".


    Please explain why HE'S the jerk. He and the women (from everything I read) seem to get along just fine. There is something wrong here I can't quite put my finger on.
    Are all the men bib wearing, tobacco spitting louts who don't know how to keep their women?
    v35, perhaps you should steer clear of the whole mess. You have no nuts in the fire and unless you are going to have to service these women in the bedroom too, it's their husbands place to say something.
  • rcrxmike_2rcrxmike_2 Member Posts: 3,275
    edited November -1
    Tell him...."knock yourself out! just assume the payments!"[:D]
  • Long Range 378Long Range 378 Member Posts: 22 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by rcrxmike_2
    Tell him...."knock yourself out! just assume the payments!"[:D]


    Amen!
  • CHGOTHNDERCHGOTHNDER Member Posts: 8,936 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Springer show material for sure.

    PJ
Sign In or Register to comment.