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Third time's the charm

hughbetchahughbetcha Member Posts: 7,801 ✭✭✭
edited September 2006 in General Discussion
I cant stand men who hit women and i wont put up with anyone hurting anyone in my family.

Comments

  • stanmanstanman Member Posts: 3,052
    edited November -1
    Sorry to say it hugh, but sounds like your sister kinda gets off on it.
    I can see standing up for the niece, but your sister is already too far gone and will now see you as the one who chased away her "true love".
    Why else would she keep running back to this piece of garbage?
  • hughbetchahughbetcha Member Posts: 7,801 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by stanman
    Sorry to say it hugh, but sounds like your sister kinda gets off on it.
    I can see standing up for the niece, but your sister is already too far gone and will now see you as the one who chased away her "true love".
    Why else would she keep running back to this piece of garbage?


    I've lectured her many times on the subject. I can't understand why any woman puts up with that kind of behavior.
  • jnmiller75jnmiller75 Member Posts: 899 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:I cant stand men who hit women and i wont put up with anyone hurting anyone in my family.

    hugh,

    I agree with you 100%, and would have done the same in your shoes. I just hope this SOB dosen't cause you any legal troubles by going to the cops. If push comes to shove, your sister would most likely side with him, and tell them he never touched her.
  • hughbetchahughbetcha Member Posts: 7,801 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I had the polaroid photos of my sisters face from the last time he hit her with me in my pocket.
  • JamesRKJamesRK Member Posts: 25,670 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Hugh, you don't want any kind of domestic violence conviction on your record. Not even a misdemeanor. Hopefully the sweetie will take his lumps and drop it, but if not, it would be worth the bucks to get a jury stacked with women and men with sisters. Good luck pardner.
    The road to hell is paved with COMPROMISE.
  • pickenuppickenup Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If you were ready to go to jail.........well.........
    I hope you don't.
  • spurgemasturspurgemastur Member Posts: 5,655 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    You need to talk to your sister. Her boyfriend is a lost cause. Something is pulling her back to this lowlife, and it's not him. Get your sister to get help. It's the best thing you can do. Until she decides she won't put up with this man, or any man who is abusive, the problem will not go away.

    You could kill the abusive boyfriend, but that wouldn't fix the problem. I'm not saying it's her fault; I'm just saying she doesn't know how to care for herself. She needs help to learn how to care for herself. And she's very unlikely to be able to do that without some professional help.
  • spurgemasturspurgemastur Member Posts: 5,655 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by stanman
    Sorry to say it hugh, but sounds like your sister kinda gets off on it.
    I can see standing up for the niece, but your sister is already too far gone and will now see you as the one who chased away her "true love".
    Why else would she keep running back to this piece of garbage?


    Sorry. I don't see the 'gets off on it' angle. A lot of people have self-esteem issues that cause them to perpetuate these sorts of situations but I think they are few who 'get off on' being abused. I think it's very much more likely that a person tolerates abuse because they feel they're essentially unloveable. And that problem is fixable. Not easily fixable, but fixable.
  • mondmond Member Posts: 6,458
    edited November -1
    Sounds like a bad ,match...(3rd time )kick his a88 bad, & make the sis know...DON'T wind him up!!
    Takes 2 to tango! as they say...[;)]
  • SCorversSCorvers Member Posts: 2,063 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Been there, done that more than once. The POS's don't usually have the cahones to tell the police that they got their butt whooped for beating up a woman. Hope you left a lasting "impression" on him.
  • p3skykingp3skyking Member Posts: 23,916 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    So what's the problem? Whether you go to jail or your sister pulls her head out of her *?
    Stay out of it.
  • spurgemasturspurgemastur Member Posts: 5,655 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by p3skyking
    So what's the problem? Whether you go to jail or your sister pulls her head out of her *?
    Stay out of it.


    I'm not sure what you're saying, but it sure sounds crass.
  • Colonel PlinkColonel Plink Member Posts: 16,460
    edited November -1
    At the risk of sounding like a touch-feely, liberal Boulderite (Coloradans will understand) about this, I'd find an organizations like the one in our town. It's called "Help for Abused Partners" There are such organizations all over the country that help break the cycle. Your sister needs help. And the guy needs jail time.
  • hughbetchahughbetcha Member Posts: 7,801 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by p3skyking
    So what's the problem? Whether you go to jail or your sister pulls her head out of her *?
    Stay out of it.


    It's a little late to stay out of it. Normally I do stay out of domestic squabbles. I hope some good comes out of this ie. The guy decides to leave the area. I don't want to have to worry about him bothering her or me again. My sister called the police yesterday and they said she can't get a restraining order before next Thursday.
  • spanielsellsspanielsells Member Posts: 12,498
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by hughbetcha
    quote:Originally posted by stanman
    Sorry to say it hugh, but sounds like your sister kinda gets off on it.
    I can see standing up for the niece, but your sister is already too far gone and will now see you as the one who chased away her "true love".
    Why else would she keep running back to this piece of garbage?


    I've lectured her many times on the subject. I can't understand why any woman puts up with that kind of behavior.
    Hugh,

    My wife's first husband beat her. My mother's first husband beat her. I've had several female friends over the years who have been beat up by men.

    Many of these women are simply terrified to leave the guys. When they're married, it becomes worse and harder to leave. Oftentimes, the threat is that if they ever left or told, the guy would kill them. Other threats include leaving them penniless. Still others involve threats of taking children away and never letting them see the kids again.

    It isn't that they get off on it, they're scared for their lives.
  • Henry0ReillyHenry0Reilly Member Posts: 10,892 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Even if a woman leaves an abusive relationship it is very likely she will choose another abusive partner; I've seen it happen over and over.

    I notice you've edited the original post since I began my response. I hope that doesn't indicate legal troubles for you, Hugh.

    If possible, get your sister into counseling available through the nearest battered women's shelter.
    I used to recruit for the NRA until they sold us down the river (again!) in Heller v. DC. See my auctions (if any) under username henryreilly
  • zipperzapzipperzap Member Posts: 25,057
    edited November -1
    quote:Henry0Reilly:

    I notice you've edited the original post since I began my response. I hope that doesn't indicate legal troubles for you, Hugh.

    [:D][:D][:D]
  • hughbetchahughbetcha Member Posts: 7,801 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Henry0Reilly
    Even if a woman leaves an abusive relationship it is very likely she will choose another abusive partner; I've seen it happen over and over.

    I notice you've edited the original post since I began my response. I hope that doesn't indicate legal troubles for you, Hugh.

    If possible, get your sister into counseling available through the nearest battered women's shelter.




    My sister is trying to get a restraining order. She owns her home and is financially secure so she doesnt have to get out of his house, he has to stay out of her house.

    No sign of sherrifs deputies yet. I'm not going to deny anything. I'm happy to take my chances with a judge. The manager at OCharlies told me not to come back for a while. I showed him the polaroid pictures of my sisters face from the last time the guy hit her and she had him arrested and he agreed the guy had it coming. My hand is all swoll up.
  • CHGOTHNDERCHGOTHNDER Member Posts: 8,936 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I know it's hard but try to keep a cool head. You can't help from the pokey, O'k

    PJ
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