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Marriage....

RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
edited February 2002 in General Discussion
I see my good friend Idsman has inquired about introductory lines to use for dating....now I'd like to help him make the right decision when the time comes to propose....All you married folks out there....if you had to do it all over again, in hind sight, are there questions you would have asked? Any characteristics you wish you'd known about your spouse before marriage? (would it have changed your decision?)[This message has been edited by Rembrandt (edited 02-25-2002).]
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Comments

  • Rafter-SRafter-S Member Posts: 2,173 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    When my wife and I married I was 19--she was 17. We were too young and stupid to know what to look out for as far as characteristics are concerned. We weren't in love (like we thought we were), we were in heat! Luckily, we both came from Christian families that believed in discipline, with stay-at-home moms and fathers that worked to support the households. Our Christian values and desire to please our Lord Jesus have carried us through the tough times. Two children, two grandchildren, and 41 years later...well, the heat finally turned to love somewhere along the way.And she is as big a gun-nut as I am.
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  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I always thought it would be suave to do it a little something like this: Hey sweetie, how 'bout you and me go down to the bank and open a joint account.
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    ....I'm gonna get killed for saying this, but I probably should have checked out Mrs Rembrandts teeth before marriage....must have cost us $7000 in braces & dental bills before it was all said and done....but after 28 years of marriage it only averages out to about $250 per year....now I know why the old timers checked a horses teeth before buying. Rembrandt now retires to the couch, his new bed for the next month....heehee (If you read this Dear...."I love you"....)
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  • RugerNinerRugerNiner Member Posts: 12,636 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    REST IN PEACE Rembrandt
    Remember...Terrorist are attacking Civilians; Not the Government. Protect Yourself!
    Keep your Powder dry and your Musket well oiled.
    NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
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  • gruntledgruntled Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Forget about sex before marriage ask if they believe in sex after marriage.
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  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    gruntled--that could be the best advice yet
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  • Hans GrueberHans Grueber Member Posts: 244 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    amen to that!!
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  • BoltactionManBoltactionMan Member Posts: 2,048 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I taught my wife to shoot a handgun while we were dating. She got pretty damn good! Got so I was afraid to leave her, it's worked for 16+ years.KC
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Sir Lord Rembrandt,old bean,I feel that you are playing with a hornets nest!!~SLB~
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  • robsgunsrobsguns Member Posts: 4,581 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Ask this question: Do you plan on keeping house like your mother, or do you actually know how to dust and sweep? Wish I had.
    SSgt Ryan E. Roberts, USMC
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  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    When I was thinking of getting married I asked all the married couples young and old that I thought would give me an honest answer; "Would you do it again if you had the chance?"Surprisingly, most said no or I dont know. My own brother said "Dont if you dont have to."This was before the sexual revolution when serious coupling was a commitment that generally led to marriage.
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  • One shotOne shot Member Posts: 1,027 ✭
    edited November -1
    I should have asked how many of her family members I would be marrying when I said "I do". They are kind of like ants, all over the place and a pain in the butt to get rid of. My marriage to my wife has been great but it has been a ten year to life sentance with her family.
    "This we will defend"
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  • timberbeasttimberbeast Member Posts: 1,738 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I screwed up the first time, so I already knew what to look for, turned out I didn't have to look too much, MsBeast told all her friends the day she met me that she was going to marry me. I wouldn't take back a second of it, it's been great!
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  • IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    A lot of questions I shoulda asked and a lot of nuances I wish I'd picked up on. Would I get married again if I were back where I was when I was single? Absolutely. Would it be to the same women? Highly unlikely. It is said one should never shop for food when hungry. I would say never contemplate marriage when horny or lonely. 20-20 hindsight.
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  • BlueTicBlueTic Member Posts: 4,072
    edited November -1
    I would not want to pose this question to my wife!!!! I got lucky as hell. There are things to remember and things to forget, but a whole bunch of good stuff along the way. Going on 19 years and commitment is the name of the game...
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  • RUGERNUT3RUGERNUT3 Member Posts: 247 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Similar question to Robs.....your NOT actually related to your mom..are you babydoll? You were the one that was adopted....right?.........
    "ANY" EXCUSE IS A GOOD REASON TO BUY "JUST 1 MORE".& VICIE-VERSIE!
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  • hunter280manhunter280man Member Posts: 705 ✭
    edited November -1
    I hear you guys, been married for 13 years. I did ask all the right questions, wish there where polygraf tests made available to the public back then...Love her dearly, just think she lied on one or two.
    Though I was born to royalty, I was snatched at birth, so treat me as the noble I am!!!
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  • kimberkidkimberkid Member Posts: 8,858 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm 44, this is my 3rd time at bat; My wife's first time. We dated for a year, lived togeather for 2 and married for almost 5. This time I knew what I was getting into and we had seen the best & worst of each other so I have never regretted it ... we are NOT alike, but compliment each other perfectly ... I think she'd say the same.
    Here's a thought: Let's make criminals responsible for their crimes ... ...Not blame society and the tools they use!kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
    If you really desire something, you'll find a way ?
    ? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
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  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
    edited November -1
    Do you have anything against red meat?That one would have made the first 5 years easier.And;If I buy a gun, do you expect me to give you a gift of equal value?That would could have saved me a ton of cash!
    Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE!
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  • travelortravelor Member Posts: 442 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    We've been at it 12 years, and at each others throtes for most of that time...either kissn' or bitin'!!! but we both know that we are in it for the long haul. both came from broken families, and neither want to continue the cycle. Love concurs all, so they say.and there is this: A man once told me (years ago) tha women are like cars...when you go to buy a new car, test drive it very carfully, making sure that it is just what you are looking for. Ask yourself if it is one that you will be happy riding in for a long time. After all, you wouldn't want to have to trade it in on a used one later would you? One someone else got rid of because of all of it's problems? And when things start breaking down...fix them, and you will always have a pretty good idea what is going on with every squeal.
    keep lots of extra uppers for your ar..you can change often enough to keep the thing from over heating...what ever caliber fits the moment..~Secret Select Society of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
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  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,593 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Not being married, I am still trying to figure out which questions to ask. Since we have been living in sin for 15 years, who to ask is easy at least.
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  • ndbillyndbilly Member Posts: 1,573 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I spent a few nights on the couch for being honest when the old girl posed the question about would I do it again. I was honest but misunderstood.Would I marry again? No, but not because I don't love the woman I'm married to now. The presumption is that she would be out of the picture for some reason and my choice would have to be made from the remaining pool. I would not marry because no sane woman would have me. This would be because I would be the most self-centered, selfish, my-way-or-the-highway type who ever lived. I would compromise on nothing. "No, your Mother can't come to visit for a week and yes, my mother is welcome anytime and for as long as she wants to stay. No, you can't bring a cat into this house and yes, by gad, I will be bringing home another Mastiff pup next week. No, I'm not going to the beach with your family for a week and yes, I will be going to Colorado with my brother to hunt elk this fall." You get the idea. What women would put up with THAT?!?! Therefore - I would never marry again.
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  • gruntledgruntled Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Do your Income Taxes as though you were married & then do them again as though you were each single. Then ask yourself why any sane person would get married. Damn tax system is crazy. Gets much worse when you retire & collect Social Security. We are going to have to get a divorce to get the money out of our IRAs & 401Ks. The limit is $25,000 (including half your SS) before the SS is taxed but only goes up to $32,000 for a couple & your withdrawals are counted as part of your income.
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  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Member Posts: 1,074 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Look at the mom in laws house, as per robsguns.Look at how the outlaws spend their money.Look at the girlfriends checkbook, not for the amount, but for how it is taken care of. If it hasnt been balanced in 6 months, you WILL have a fight on your hands.most probs you have will be over $, just a fact of life.Remember its all disscusion and compromise, compromise means "do it her way", disscusion means talk about it, then do it her way
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    ....all joking aside about Mrs Rembrandts dental bills, marriage isn't exactly as June & Ward Cleaver would have you believe...it does force one to grow up and better prepare you for lifes challenges....while I do many of the daily home duties (laundry, house, cooking, bookeeping, etc), my better half is a work-a-holic....it compliments our lifestyle. Had a few bumps along the way...but overall we've both grown and matured with the relationship and kids. Mrs Rembrandt has had to put up with a few little imperfections....I'm not Ward Cleaver....but pretty darn close....(heehee)
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  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Ward Cleaver had a smoking jacket.nuff said
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  • jastrjastr Member Posts: 463 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I wish i would have known about a few bills that had been put off and put off, cause when my wife and i got married i soon discovered them! Then they became my bills. ps. weve only been married bout a year
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Idsman....you are making notes on all this?....just want to make sure you get the best pickn's out there....
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  • legn4legn4 Member Posts: 481 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Well since most inlaws have past on, & she puts up with most of my normal stuff I guess iam Lucky.
    Work'n like a dog all nite
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  • instrumentofwarinstrumentofwar Member Posts: 1,545 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I don't know bud, but I think that it's important that she gets along with your bros. I know that may not sound the best, but (and I may have gotten lucky on this one) I think it helped alot that you guys ("Just AL & Then There's Jeremy") and Danny got along so well. Maybe it's partly due to being in the military and you two were my family that she had to meet, instead of my mom and sister. I gotta stop now, I'm missing the ol' lady an' you guys. Gettin' all sentimental. Give her a call by the way, she's tried to call but ya'll are never around with your odd * recruiter hours.Hey boy, .... cold beah?
    "An army without profanity couldn't fight its way out of a piss soaked paper bag!" -Patton
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  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    IOW--You have an amazing missus. That's all I have to say. Any young lady that would sit around with her hubby and his buddies as they played AD&D all night and into the wee hours and engage in all of their typical "man hobbies" without a word of complaint is amazing in my book--not to mention one that would take care of a growing St. Bernard by herself for an entire deployment. Wow! That's all I gotta say. I hope the Bulgaria visit works out for the two of you.Stay safe and keep in touch.Will call this week.
    SSG idsman75, U.S. ARMY
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