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Baring the Heart

idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
edited November 2001 in General Discussion
Okay, I'm not the seeeeeeeeeensitive type but the coming holiday season and a recent conversation with the parents has me in a bit of a bind so to speak. I am generally rather cold-hearted when it comes to whiners and the moanings of the hand that life has dealt them. However, I have a bit of a weakness for the chord that is plucked when family is the issue at hand. Some here already know that I am an Army recruiter and, in spite of the whole ARMY OF ONE slogan, recruiting all boils down to numbers. If my individual office meets its "numbers" for the month of November by Wednesday, I get to drive home for the 4-day weekend. If not, then I get to work the day after Thanksgiving. This is nothing new to me because I knew what I was getting into when I enlisted and when I became a recruiter. However, the family now despises the choice. They blame me and they blame the military and are none to friendly about it. When your true friends in life are everywhere from the east coast to the west coast to Bosnia and Afghanistan, family seems to be a wonderful source of support. I would like to ask the seasoned veterans of this discussion forum how they handled such issues with their parents or if those things were even issues with them. I am loyal to God and Country and Family but sometimes the family feels as though I have forced them to sacrifice along with me. I don't feel guilty nor do I feel slighted by my chain-of-command. How does one impart the vision that one has for a strong national defense and doing what it takes to maintain that when it comes to unsupportive family? My parents are incredibly conservative and have always been supportive of a strong national defense but occasionally sway towards the "someone else's son not mine" attitude when things get a little rough.
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Comments

  • rodgergliderodgerglide Member Posts: 184 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I would only like to say thank you from a veteran.I too spent far too many holidays away from my family,and now my son who is at Ft.Jackson,will be away from me.That was what I chose,and what he chose,and I am proud of him.If your family has a hard time with your choice,that is their problem to deal with.I don't mean to be blunt,but the fact remains that you are doing what YOU want to,as hard as it may be sometimes,and they must accept that.I have learned that in my life,I must do what I want to,not what others want me to.Hang in there and hopefully better times,and family gatherings are ahead.Again,thanks for doing what you are.I wish more people would "put their money where their mouth is" and support the freedoms they enjoy.
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  • mudgemudge Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    idsman...Sorry to hear about the problem. You have supporters galore here. Can't say I ever experienced what you're going through. My father was career Navy. He was sent to Australia about a month after Dec.7,'41. We didn't see him again 'til '45. Older brother was Army in Korea. I was USAF, (front lines of Albuquerque), and little bro was USMC in Nam. We got pretty used to not having the whole family for holidays. We all understood why, though.So, hang in the best you can. Most of us have "been there, done that" and empathize.THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!!Mudge the grateful.
    I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
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  • HAIRYHAIRY Member Posts: 23,606
    edited November -1
    Try explaining that you have an important job to do and you're proud to do it. Remind the family that if their civilian boss had a requirement that needed them, would they refuse to meet it?
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  • ibtruknibtrukn Member Posts: 443 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    ID the answer (mine) may be simplistic, BUT without you and past and present veterans. there would be no "holidays" ROCK ON !!
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  • Smoky14Smoky14 Member Posts: 531 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Thanks for serving ib.It is hard to make your family understand why your dedication to your country must come before family.Of the 23 Christmas' I spent in service only two were spent with family. I don't regret my service to my country, but my first wife did and never forgave me. The second one LOVES guns and shooters KEEP THE CHIN UP AND THE COUNTRY SAFE!
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  • susiesusie Member Posts: 7,594 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Here's an idea from an Army wife (he's in the reserves now, active duty for 12 years). The problem we have now is he works for the post office and must work holidays. We solved the problem by inviting everyone to our house. Although he will have to sleep half the day and leave the house at 2200 our family will be together for the holidays. During his active duty time we explained that holidays are not the important thing it is the being together, which can be done anytime. My parents have always understood our fear of being snowed in during the Christmas holiday so we open gifts on Easter when we visit in April!! Compromise is the key.
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  • magnumcreekranchmagnumcreekranch Member Posts: 35 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Get real, I served during Nam, away for all holidays, births, deaths and so on. Later worked shift work, again I wasn't there for many a holiday. If they were required to work on a holiday, I imagine they would be at work.NRA Life MemberHill Country Shooter
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    I have 7 living siblings,my younger brother died 3 years ago.Anyway,we all have our own families,so we we have thanksgivin` at our own homes..if somebody wants to visit sombody..go right on ahead..just don`t call first..that`s annoyin`!!With my wifes family..well they are a pain in the * bunch of latinos,that get all bent out of shape when they don`t get their way.They went to Costa Rica for the next two weeks,what a blessin`...hope they will be O.K....they are very good people..218
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  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Although Costa Rica is a very nice country (the cleanest in Central America IMHO), I'd rather be right here in the midwest for Turkey Day.
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