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10 Rules Of Writing Bad Sci-Fi
.250Savage
Member Posts: 812 ✭✭✭✭
Thot the science junkies at this BB would appreciate this, took it from the local fishwrap. Enjoy...
SINGULARITIES SCOTT LAFEE Making space for bad science fictionBy Scott LaFee February 27, 2002 Really good science fiction often turns out not to be fiction at all. In 1911, Hugo Gernsback described what we now call radar in his novel, "Ralph 124 C41+." In 1945, Arthur C. Clarke wrote about geostationary communications satellites 12 years before Sputnik. Isaac Asimov devised the laws of robotic behavior in 1950. D.G. Compton envisioned artificial human eyes in 1974. And in 1981, William Gibson wrote about an imaginary, worldwide electronic network that he named "cyberspace." Good science fiction, said Robert A. Heinlein ("Stranger in a Strange Land," "Starship Troopers"), involved a "realistic speculation about possible future events, based solidly on adequate knowledge of the real world, past and present, and on a thorough understanding of the nature and significance of the scientific method." OK, but just as there are rules for science or immutable laws of physics or nature, so too are there inviolate principles governing the creation of good bad science fiction, such as John Travolta's 2000 movie "Battlefield Earth," (based on the novel by L. Ron Hubbard) in which nose-plugged aliens do battle 1,000 years from now with Neanderthals flying 1990s-era fighter jets. The 10 Laws of Bad Science Fiction, codified by Canadian androids Greg Beetam and Stephen Geigen-Miller on their Web site www.xenosarrow.com, are: 1. Make no distinction between science and technology. Forget the notion of science as a systematized body of knowledge based on observation and experimentation, often pursued primarily for the sake of enlightenment. Instead, science and its practitioners are dedicated solely to creating cool, new gadgets and unthinkable ways to blow up the planet. 2. Hardware equals software and vice versa. In other words, all technologies can be reprogrammed to do anything: Toasters can be converted into laser weapons, refrigerators can be given the ability to think as well as make ice cubes. Perhaps even at the same time. 3. Appearance supersedes function and reality. The funkier something looks, the more it makes sense. Thus spaceships display quirky architecture and furnishings and explosions in outer space are very loud despite the fact there's no atmosphere to carry sound waves. A corollary to Law No. 3 is that there's no such thing as a small explosion. 4. All scientists are brilliant and universally knowledgeable. Apparently, there's no future in specializing. Scientists 100 or 1,000 years from now will all be like the Professor on Gilligan's Island, reputed to be a marine biologist but able to also construct radios, bamboo cars and Geiger counters. (If only he knew how to fix a hole in a boat.) 5. Cite "well-known facts" no one has ever heard of. It adds credibility to the plot. 6. All contraptions improvised out of available materials on short notice by the protagonist to save himself and his love interest from death or enslavement on an asteroid mine will work as well or better than devices specifically designed for the job. 7. Aliens will generally resemble humans in appearance and culture, with just a few telling and ultimately fatal differences, e.g. they have antennae, they're green or they lack a sense of humor. Conversely, all Earthlings appear to live either in the United States or Japan. 8. All forms of mysterious or previously unknown forms of energy produce extraordinary powers or results, such as increasing body size or reviving the dead. None apparently kills outright. 9. Technology introduced at the beginning of a story or movie causes problems. Technology introduced in the middle or end solves problems. This is commonly referred to as the "If-Only-I'd-Invented-It-90-Minutes-Later Conundrum." 10. All previously known laws of nature, physics or science are subject to reinterpretation, revision or dismissal if they conflict with any of the previous nine laws cited. Scott LaFee may be reached by e-mail at scott.lafee@uniontrib.com Copyright 2002 Union-Tribune Publishing Co.
SINGULARITIES SCOTT LAFEE Making space for bad science fictionBy Scott LaFee February 27, 2002 Really good science fiction often turns out not to be fiction at all. In 1911, Hugo Gernsback described what we now call radar in his novel, "Ralph 124 C41+." In 1945, Arthur C. Clarke wrote about geostationary communications satellites 12 years before Sputnik. Isaac Asimov devised the laws of robotic behavior in 1950. D.G. Compton envisioned artificial human eyes in 1974. And in 1981, William Gibson wrote about an imaginary, worldwide electronic network that he named "cyberspace." Good science fiction, said Robert A. Heinlein ("Stranger in a Strange Land," "Starship Troopers"), involved a "realistic speculation about possible future events, based solidly on adequate knowledge of the real world, past and present, and on a thorough understanding of the nature and significance of the scientific method." OK, but just as there are rules for science or immutable laws of physics or nature, so too are there inviolate principles governing the creation of good bad science fiction, such as John Travolta's 2000 movie "Battlefield Earth," (based on the novel by L. Ron Hubbard) in which nose-plugged aliens do battle 1,000 years from now with Neanderthals flying 1990s-era fighter jets. The 10 Laws of Bad Science Fiction, codified by Canadian androids Greg Beetam and Stephen Geigen-Miller on their Web site www.xenosarrow.com, are: 1. Make no distinction between science and technology. Forget the notion of science as a systematized body of knowledge based on observation and experimentation, often pursued primarily for the sake of enlightenment. Instead, science and its practitioners are dedicated solely to creating cool, new gadgets and unthinkable ways to blow up the planet. 2. Hardware equals software and vice versa. In other words, all technologies can be reprogrammed to do anything: Toasters can be converted into laser weapons, refrigerators can be given the ability to think as well as make ice cubes. Perhaps even at the same time. 3. Appearance supersedes function and reality. The funkier something looks, the more it makes sense. Thus spaceships display quirky architecture and furnishings and explosions in outer space are very loud despite the fact there's no atmosphere to carry sound waves. A corollary to Law No. 3 is that there's no such thing as a small explosion. 4. All scientists are brilliant and universally knowledgeable. Apparently, there's no future in specializing. Scientists 100 or 1,000 years from now will all be like the Professor on Gilligan's Island, reputed to be a marine biologist but able to also construct radios, bamboo cars and Geiger counters. (If only he knew how to fix a hole in a boat.) 5. Cite "well-known facts" no one has ever heard of. It adds credibility to the plot. 6. All contraptions improvised out of available materials on short notice by the protagonist to save himself and his love interest from death or enslavement on an asteroid mine will work as well or better than devices specifically designed for the job. 7. Aliens will generally resemble humans in appearance and culture, with just a few telling and ultimately fatal differences, e.g. they have antennae, they're green or they lack a sense of humor. Conversely, all Earthlings appear to live either in the United States or Japan. 8. All forms of mysterious or previously unknown forms of energy produce extraordinary powers or results, such as increasing body size or reviving the dead. None apparently kills outright. 9. Technology introduced at the beginning of a story or movie causes problems. Technology introduced in the middle or end solves problems. This is commonly referred to as the "If-Only-I'd-Invented-It-90-Minutes-Later Conundrum." 10. All previously known laws of nature, physics or science are subject to reinterpretation, revision or dismissal if they conflict with any of the previous nine laws cited. Scott LaFee may be reached by e-mail at scott.lafee@uniontrib.com Copyright 2002 Union-Tribune Publishing Co.
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"...hit your enemy in the belly, and kick him when he is down, and boil his prisoners in oil- if you take any- and torture his women and children. Then people will keep clear of you..." -Admiral of the Fleet Lord Fisher, speaking at the Hague Peace Conference in 1899.