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Crime Doesn't Pay: Chapter 1
Bullzeye
Member Posts: 3,560
Two teen punks fiending for a fix broke into an elderly woman's house in England. Finding nothing of real value to steal in her humble abode, they finally noticed a ceramic container above the mantle stenciled ornately with the word "Charlie". It was filled with a white powder, and assuming it was cocaine, they proceeded to cut several lines on her coffee table and snort some before making off with the container. Much to the elderly resident's shock, she returned from church later to find her late husband Charles's ashes missing.
Three rather half-witted men decided to rob a bank in Chicago. They pulled their van up to the front entrance, hid their weapons under their jackets, steeled their nerves, and charged through the revolving door at the front of the bank.They ended up jamming the door through their zeal, and had to wait half an hour before they could be freed by the bank employees.Sheepishly, they returned to their van. Anybody with half a brain would give up, but after some discussion they decided to give it another go.Again they charged into the bank, this time being careful not to jam the door, brandished their weapons and announced a robbery.The teller, who had just spent a fair amount of time releasing the men from the revolving door, thought they were playing a joke. The nervous robbers insisted it was not. The teller, still convinced they were playing a prank, burst into hysterical laughter.The robbers, deeply confused and scared by this turn of events, took off running for the van, but proceeded to jam the revolving door once again, with two pushing on one side and one on the other. They were freed for the second time and arrested when the employees finally got around to calling the police.
Two armed men burst into a pawn shop waving pistols. One screamed "Dont move!". Then the other moved to go for the cash register, and his startled partner shot him in the back of the head.
Three rather half-witted men decided to rob a bank in Chicago. They pulled their van up to the front entrance, hid their weapons under their jackets, steeled their nerves, and charged through the revolving door at the front of the bank.They ended up jamming the door through their zeal, and had to wait half an hour before they could be freed by the bank employees.Sheepishly, they returned to their van. Anybody with half a brain would give up, but after some discussion they decided to give it another go.Again they charged into the bank, this time being careful not to jam the door, brandished their weapons and announced a robbery.The teller, who had just spent a fair amount of time releasing the men from the revolving door, thought they were playing a joke. The nervous robbers insisted it was not. The teller, still convinced they were playing a prank, burst into hysterical laughter.The robbers, deeply confused and scared by this turn of events, took off running for the van, but proceeded to jam the revolving door once again, with two pushing on one side and one on the other. They were freed for the second time and arrested when the employees finally got around to calling the police.
Two armed men burst into a pawn shop waving pistols. One screamed "Dont move!". Then the other moved to go for the cash register, and his startled partner shot him in the back of the head.