In order to participate in the GunBroker Member forums, you must be logged in with your GunBroker.com account. Click the sign-in button at the top right of the forums page to get connected.
Satire on the Israeli Barrier (C&P)
HAIRY
Member Posts: 23,606
A glimpse into the future
By Ephraim Kleiman
Haaretz, February 22,2004
On the day the construction of the wall was finished, the people living in Zion could breathe with relief. True, the work took much longer than expected, partly because of the incessant changes in the route and mostly because of proliferation of longer-range weapons in the hands of the Palestinians, which forced converting parts of the fence into the kind of eight-meter-high concrete walls that were put up to surround Jerusalem. Jordanian and Egyptian pressure resulted in the construction of a tunnel corridor over the Kidron from Abu Dis to the Temple Mount, to enable Muslims to reach the mosque on the plaza. That of course required raising the Western Wall, so the worshipers below could feel secure.
There were more complications when a group of newly Orthodox Jews demanded that the principle of not abandoning wounded and casualties in enemy territory be applied to Joseph's Tomb, and as evidence pointed to how Joseph's bones were brought back from Egypt. More serious was the problem of the forefathers' graves, since the Palestinians claimed that as descendants of Ismhael, Abraham's oldest son, they had first rights over his bones. And when a compromise finally began to emerge, the Jordanians stepped in to demand Isaac's bones, as descendants of Esau. The issue is still under deliberation in the international court in The Hague.
The launch of the wall was marked with a state ceremony at which the prime minister quoted Ze'ev Jabotinsky, who spoke of the Iron Wall and the foreign minister incorrectly attributed the saying "We are a last wall of defense" to the Palmah anthem. One of the chief rabbis delivered the Sheheyehnu blessing, and said that the cement panels with which the Western Wall was raised higher only added to the glory and power of the wall. The Faithful of the Temple Mount began practicing rappelling.
It took the public a little while to get used to the absence of guards at the entrances to the malls and restaurants and even the car owners slowly began to go back to taking buses. But it did not take long and powerful blasts began to rock the city centers. At first the blasts were attributed to the gangland underworld wars, but the fact that the bombers would disappear as if the ground had swallowed them caused a lot of worry. A large hole that opened in the ground after heavy rains in the Ramat Gan diamond bourse area led investigators to the conclusion that Palestinian terror groups had moved their engineering skills from the tunnels that they dug from Egypt into Rafah, to the city centers and had even managed to find their way into the mythological tunnels said to have been dug under the Land in the days of the Bar-Kochba rebellion.
After careful examining of all possible solutions, the most effective was decided to be laying a concrete floor over the entire country. Dutch experts were brought in especially for the job and when they proposed making the cement floor more pliable and flexible by including plastic bags and used tires in the mix, the green organizations dropped their opposition to the plan. Farmers who turned down the finance minister's proposal to grow vegetables in planters, were nonetheless promised that the compensation they got for not farming would not be at the expense of the usually three-year drought compensation. To avoid harming relations with Thailand, the southern Arava moshavim and sheep-raising farms were kept free of the cement cover. And a small butt of exposed dirt was left near the airport, for the sake of the pilgrims who wanted to be able to kiss the Holy Land on their arrival.
At the ceremony dedicating the new floor, the prime minister promised that it guaranteed a firm foundation for the state. The foreign minister finished his speech by humming the tune to "we'll dress you up in cement and concrete," and one of the chief rabbis said that the new floor was great because by disconnecting agricultural produce from the actual ground, it rendered irrelevant the need for a year of rest shmita rules.
Despite certain difficulties faced by some parts of the population to get used to the new floor, the "foundation" proves to be a great success. Not only did the terror stop but it made day-to-day life much easier. The national infrastructures minister took pride in the major savings in road construction costs, and relations between mothers and children improved when the kids stopped dragging mud into the homes.
However, the peace was shattered when reports began arriving about scientists in Zimbabwe genetically engineering a tse-tse fly, which carries the dreaded sleeping sickness, so that the fly's flight can be directed and its range extended. The fears grew into a panic when it was reported that one of the scientists in the research team belonged to Islamic Jihad.
In light of the danger, the decision was made at the highest levels that there was no choice but to cover the country with a large ceiling dome. The defense minister took pride in his foresight and insistence in his day on replacing the separation fence with a wall, saving huge sums of money now needed to build the supporting foundations of the ceiling. Military analysts pointed put the advantage of the ceiling as a defensive precaution against nuclear attacks. Psychologists explained that the sense of claustrophobia was natural in such circumstances, and there was no reason to be ashamed of those feelings. Those who don't have such feelings are repressing their feelings, they said.
The decision to build the ceiling set off a frenzy of economic activity. The electric company raised a fortune in overseas capital markets for the enormous expansion that would become necessary to provide lighting and air-conditioning. Contractors began to compete for the tenders to demolish the topmost stories of skyscrapers too tall for the dome, and there was a burgeoning of fund-raising activity in those sectors expected to become particularly popular - like suntanning parlors. A grave coalition crisis was averted at the last minute when the treasury agreed to allocate the necessary funds to place periscopes on synagogues to enable the worshipers to say the prayers for the new moon.
With the completion if the ceiling, the prime minister delivered a speech declaring that the national homeland in our time had been turned from a theoretical concept into something tangible and his deputy spoke about the return to the good old pioneering days of sealed rooms. A few days later, on Independence Day that year, the state of Israel went into the bunker. As the saying goes, think first.
Ephraim Kleiman is Don Patinkin Professor of Economics at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Hypocrisy is the homage paid by vice to virtue.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
By Ephraim Kleiman
Haaretz, February 22,2004
On the day the construction of the wall was finished, the people living in Zion could breathe with relief. True, the work took much longer than expected, partly because of the incessant changes in the route and mostly because of proliferation of longer-range weapons in the hands of the Palestinians, which forced converting parts of the fence into the kind of eight-meter-high concrete walls that were put up to surround Jerusalem. Jordanian and Egyptian pressure resulted in the construction of a tunnel corridor over the Kidron from Abu Dis to the Temple Mount, to enable Muslims to reach the mosque on the plaza. That of course required raising the Western Wall, so the worshipers below could feel secure.
There were more complications when a group of newly Orthodox Jews demanded that the principle of not abandoning wounded and casualties in enemy territory be applied to Joseph's Tomb, and as evidence pointed to how Joseph's bones were brought back from Egypt. More serious was the problem of the forefathers' graves, since the Palestinians claimed that as descendants of Ismhael, Abraham's oldest son, they had first rights over his bones. And when a compromise finally began to emerge, the Jordanians stepped in to demand Isaac's bones, as descendants of Esau. The issue is still under deliberation in the international court in The Hague.
The launch of the wall was marked with a state ceremony at which the prime minister quoted Ze'ev Jabotinsky, who spoke of the Iron Wall and the foreign minister incorrectly attributed the saying "We are a last wall of defense" to the Palmah anthem. One of the chief rabbis delivered the Sheheyehnu blessing, and said that the cement panels with which the Western Wall was raised higher only added to the glory and power of the wall. The Faithful of the Temple Mount began practicing rappelling.
It took the public a little while to get used to the absence of guards at the entrances to the malls and restaurants and even the car owners slowly began to go back to taking buses. But it did not take long and powerful blasts began to rock the city centers. At first the blasts were attributed to the gangland underworld wars, but the fact that the bombers would disappear as if the ground had swallowed them caused a lot of worry. A large hole that opened in the ground after heavy rains in the Ramat Gan diamond bourse area led investigators to the conclusion that Palestinian terror groups had moved their engineering skills from the tunnels that they dug from Egypt into Rafah, to the city centers and had even managed to find their way into the mythological tunnels said to have been dug under the Land in the days of the Bar-Kochba rebellion.
After careful examining of all possible solutions, the most effective was decided to be laying a concrete floor over the entire country. Dutch experts were brought in especially for the job and when they proposed making the cement floor more pliable and flexible by including plastic bags and used tires in the mix, the green organizations dropped their opposition to the plan. Farmers who turned down the finance minister's proposal to grow vegetables in planters, were nonetheless promised that the compensation they got for not farming would not be at the expense of the usually three-year drought compensation. To avoid harming relations with Thailand, the southern Arava moshavim and sheep-raising farms were kept free of the cement cover. And a small butt of exposed dirt was left near the airport, for the sake of the pilgrims who wanted to be able to kiss the Holy Land on their arrival.
At the ceremony dedicating the new floor, the prime minister promised that it guaranteed a firm foundation for the state. The foreign minister finished his speech by humming the tune to "we'll dress you up in cement and concrete," and one of the chief rabbis said that the new floor was great because by disconnecting agricultural produce from the actual ground, it rendered irrelevant the need for a year of rest shmita rules.
Despite certain difficulties faced by some parts of the population to get used to the new floor, the "foundation" proves to be a great success. Not only did the terror stop but it made day-to-day life much easier. The national infrastructures minister took pride in the major savings in road construction costs, and relations between mothers and children improved when the kids stopped dragging mud into the homes.
However, the peace was shattered when reports began arriving about scientists in Zimbabwe genetically engineering a tse-tse fly, which carries the dreaded sleeping sickness, so that the fly's flight can be directed and its range extended. The fears grew into a panic when it was reported that one of the scientists in the research team belonged to Islamic Jihad.
In light of the danger, the decision was made at the highest levels that there was no choice but to cover the country with a large ceiling dome. The defense minister took pride in his foresight and insistence in his day on replacing the separation fence with a wall, saving huge sums of money now needed to build the supporting foundations of the ceiling. Military analysts pointed put the advantage of the ceiling as a defensive precaution against nuclear attacks. Psychologists explained that the sense of claustrophobia was natural in such circumstances, and there was no reason to be ashamed of those feelings. Those who don't have such feelings are repressing their feelings, they said.
The decision to build the ceiling set off a frenzy of economic activity. The electric company raised a fortune in overseas capital markets for the enormous expansion that would become necessary to provide lighting and air-conditioning. Contractors began to compete for the tenders to demolish the topmost stories of skyscrapers too tall for the dome, and there was a burgeoning of fund-raising activity in those sectors expected to become particularly popular - like suntanning parlors. A grave coalition crisis was averted at the last minute when the treasury agreed to allocate the necessary funds to place periscopes on synagogues to enable the worshipers to say the prayers for the new moon.
With the completion if the ceiling, the prime minister delivered a speech declaring that the national homeland in our time had been turned from a theoretical concept into something tangible and his deputy spoke about the return to the good old pioneering days of sealed rooms. A few days later, on Independence Day that year, the state of Israel went into the bunker. As the saying goes, think first.
Ephraim Kleiman is Don Patinkin Professor of Economics at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Hypocrisy is the homage paid by vice to virtue.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Comments
Tell me Hairy, serious question, what do you think would happen if Israel were to simply displace ALL of the palenstinians and take possesion of ALL palestinian lands, forcing the arab countries surrounding them to absorb the refugees? I can imagine that there would be retaliation by angry palenstinians, but would it be worse than is done now? Considering the added "buffer" I am betting that Israel would see a decrease in the amount of terrorist attacks by palestinians.
I'm sure it would cause an international outcry, but Israel has never seemed to concerned about that. And in ten years time, most people will have forgotten much about it, and the Palestininas would wither and die for lack of a "base" to operate from. Sure it's not fair, whatever that means, but I'm sure many in Israel have thought about doing this, and it would be relatively easy for them to do, so what's stopping them from doing this? Or, and I'm guessing you'll say, are they just doing this very thing in slow motion?
To whom much is given, much is expected.
Failing that, they most likely will just kill all of the Palestinians under the guise of "militant" and/or "terrorists" as they are doing now.[:(]
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Hypocrisy is the homage paid by vice to virtue.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.