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One Liners (Humor)
HAIRY
Member Posts: 23,606
Subject: 1 liners
one-liners worth remembering.
"A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults."
- Louis Nizer (1902 -1994)
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you
here."
- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man & worships his creator."
- John Bright
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader
to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."
- Moses Hadas
"His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open."
- Howard Hughes (about Clark Gable)
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in
others."
- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man
I know."
- Abraham Lincoln
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
- Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?"
- Mark Twain
"A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like
he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity."
- Mark Twain
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it."
- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for
support, rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Hypocrisy is the homage paid by vice to virtue.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
one-liners worth remembering.
"A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults."
- Louis Nizer (1902 -1994)
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you
here."
- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man & worships his creator."
- John Bright
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader
to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."
- Moses Hadas
"His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open."
- Howard Hughes (about Clark Gable)
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in
others."
- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man
I know."
- Abraham Lincoln
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
- Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?"
- Mark Twain
"A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like
he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity."
- Mark Twain
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it."
- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for
support, rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Hypocrisy is the homage paid by vice to virtue.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.