On The Lighter Side.....

Bubba Joel

I got a couple jokes from my Preacher Brother-in-law, I thought was cute......LOL

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A preacher was completing a temperance sermon, with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I's take it and throw it into the river." With greater emphasis he said,"And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."And finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: "Shall We Gather at the River."

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A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters..I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

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I don't make jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.Will Rogers

nunn

There was this small community that had only two churches, one Methodist and one Baptist. The Baptist church was poor and the pastor could not afford a car on his meager salary, so he made his rounds on a bicycle. He often shared a cup of coffee and conversation with his Methodist counterpart.One day, the Baptist preacher came to see the Methodist preacher on foot. He was very unhappy. Someone had stolen his bicycle. He thought someone in his church had done it.The Methodist preacher said, "I can help you get your bike back. This Sunday, you preach on the 10 Commandments. When you get to 'Thou shalt not steal,' you BEAR DOWN on it. Make them smell that brimstone. Make them feel that fire. Whoever took your bike will bring it back."Next time the two got together, the Baptist preacher was on his bike again. The Methodist preacher asked, "Did my sermon idea help get it back?"The Baptist preacher said, "Yes, it did."The Methodist preacher said, "You must have really got to them when you got to 'Thou shalt not steal,' right?The Baptist preacher said, "My sermon on the 10 commandments helped me get the bike back, but not like you think. When I got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left my bike."

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Certified SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator and Supreme Ruler of the General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Email davidnunn@texoma.net Jesus is Lord!

will270win

A preacher called his Deacon one Sunday and said he would not be in and to preach the sermon left in his office. The preacher said he was sick but was really going to go play golf. As God and Jesus watched from heaven God said I'll fix him. Jesus watched on as the preacher teed off at the first hole, a par 3, and hit a hole in one. Perplexed Jesus asked why God had done this. God replied, "Who can he tell?"

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You can run, but you'll just die tired!Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, RELOAD!

lugee00

A Jewish Rabbi, a Catholic Priest, and a Baptist Minister were in a boat fishing, when they ran out of bait the Baptist Minister said "We'll have to row back to shore and get more". The Jewish Rabbi said " I'll just go and get it" and stepped out of the boat then walked to the shore and back. The Baptist Minister thought "What faith!". Later the same thing except the Catholic Priest walked to the shore and back, again the Baptist Minister thought "What faith!". Later they again needed bait, the Baptist Minister thought "Surely I have the faith of my companions" and stepped out of the boat, he quickly sank out of sight. The Catholic Priest looked at the Jewish Rabbi and said " I guess we should have told him where the stepping stones are".