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Well, I thought they were funny
mudge
Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
Sent to me by my buddy in SD.
What is an Oxymoron?
Oxymoron Definition: A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined.
EXAMPLE:
"Oxymoron" - Removing the Ten Commandments from the courthouse while making people in court swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God ...while your hand is on the Bible!
How Gloves are made...
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was
nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't."
"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of
latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their
hands,let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the
right size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure,
she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"
Daddy Longlegs
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said "Well, it might be ok in California or New York but we're not having any of that crap in Wyoming."
Mudge the plagiarist
I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
What is an Oxymoron?
Oxymoron Definition: A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined.
EXAMPLE:
"Oxymoron" - Removing the Ten Commandments from the courthouse while making people in court swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God ...while your hand is on the Bible!
How Gloves are made...
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was
nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't."
"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of
latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their
hands,let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the
right size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure,
she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"
Daddy Longlegs
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said "Well, it might be ok in California or New York but we're not having any of that crap in Wyoming."
Mudge the plagiarist
I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
Comments
IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY RIGHTS - GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY (this includes politicians)