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The True Southerner

nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,078 ******
edited April 2002 in General Discussion
Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you don't "have" them, but "pitch" them. Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess. A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in, "Going to town, be back directly." Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.) True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb. A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern: a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares the bejezus out of you. True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." We stand IN them, not ON them. And when we're in line, we talk to everybody. Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage. True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all." True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food. Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened; "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway - you say, "Bless her heart" and go your way.
Certified SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of the General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the premier gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net Jesus is Lord!
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Comments

  • hunter280manhunter280man Member Posts: 705 ✭
    edited November -1
    Now thats nice nunn!
    Though I was born to royalty, I was snatched at birth, so treat me as the noble I am!!!
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  • Jungle JimJungle Jim Member Posts: 264 ✭
    edited November -1
    Nunn,That's the kind of stuff we need on this board! Thanks for cleaning up the board, too!Jim
    "De Oppresso Liber"
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  • RugerNinerRugerNiner Member Posts: 12,636 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Youse people say "Looky Here", what kind of English is that?
    Remember...Terrorist are attacking Civilians; Not the Government. Protect Yourself!
    Keep your Powder dry and your Musket well oiled.
    NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
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  • Submariner .Submariner . Member Posts: 165 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    true southerners know you can say the most terrible things about someone else as long as you follow it by "bless his/her/its/their heart.example le peggy sue just gave birth to the ugliest baby i ever did see ,poor thing looks like it belongs on a bag of ole roy,bless its little heart.at the conclusion of the obligatory "bless its little heart" the other ladies will nod in agreement and laugh
    Truck Driver,Submarine Veteran,Rusty Wallace fan,and piss poor typist E-MAIL WNUNLEY@USIT.NET
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  • njretcopnjretcop Member Posts: 7,975
    edited November -1
    Geez, youse guys talk funny, not like here in Joisey. I got your Southern gentlemen talk right here! -Charlie
    It's the stuff dreams are made of AngelNRA Certified Firearms InstructorMember: GOA, RKBA, NJSPBA, NJ area rep for the 2ndAMPD. njretcop@copmail.com
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  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
    edited November -1
    That's why I feel at home here. There are folks who understand my southern grammer an local lingo. Thanks nunn, I needed that. I wish my dad were still alive, he would love that one. Maybe he's reading it up there! Thanks again,
    Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE![This message has been edited by dheffley (edited 04-07-2002).]
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  • varmit huntervarmit hunter Member Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Recon I be nowen here and now how Nunn.He come by that moderator job you know!.Now that dog will hunt.Folks wont be doing no messin with old nunn.He be putem on down the road you hear.Bless is heart.
    A unarmed man is a subject.A armed man is a citizen.
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  • PelicanPelican Member Posts: 1,061 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Yup
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  • Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Charlie, I gotta ask this one. On the east coast and up north in you know where land.( I won't use the "Y" word", do they teach the letter R in school? If they do teach that letter, why do some many yan....I won't say it , sorry,,anyhow why don't they use it in their words? And why do so many New Yorkers and people men from the surounding NYC area all talk like Sylvester Stallone?
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  • njretcopnjretcop Member Posts: 7,975
    edited November -1
    Gee, It must be worse than I thought. I never noticed that Sly talked any differently than anybody else, lol.Actually, a lot of directors come to the NY area from Hollywood to make their movies and they expect everybody to talk like that, so we do in case they need extras for the movie, haha.-Charlie
    It's the stuff dreams are made of AngelNRA Certified Firearms InstructorMember: GOA, RKBA, NJSPBA, NJ area rep for the 2ndAMPD. njretcop@copmail.com
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  • RugerNinerRugerNiner Member Posts: 12,636 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sylvester Stallone has a Philly accent, but you would have to be a Yankee to know that.New Jersey accents are split, South Jersey is part of Philly. While North Jersey is part of New York.
    Remember...Terrorist are attacking Civilians; Not the Government. Protect Yourself!
    Keep your Powder dry and your Musket well oiled.
    NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
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  • BlueTicBlueTic Member Posts: 4,072
    edited November -1
    I do believe I've met a few Southerners in sheeps clothing on the trips I took to NY. But some of Y'all look at us funny when we talk in line.
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