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Instant justice from the darwin awards
drach
Member Posts: 130 ✭✭✭
After being pulled over by police for driving a "suspicious vehicle", Gerald Nolan decided it was better to try fleeing on foot than face possible jail time for a parole violation. This is the first indication of Gerald's failings - "The officers are only suspicious and alert now. Lets make them hot, sweaty, tired and pissed off as well, by leading them on a wild chase through the dark alleys and fields. After all, they're going to get the chance to choose how much physical force to use during restraint and apprehension later. Better make sure they're in the right mood for it." During the chase, Gerald attempted to dissuade offices from their pursuit by firing his 9mm handgun back over his shoulder. Second illustration of potential genetic deficiencies - "Officers running behind me. They have guns. I have a gun. But they have eyes in the front of their heads, so they can see to aim at me. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I can not tell what I'm aiming at. Let's fire wildly behind me anyway, and see how good the officers' marksmanship really is!" Unfortunately, Gerald appears to have been one of those folks who "can't chew gum and walk" at the same time. Or at least, he was one who "can't flee and fire". While trying to point the weapon back over his shoulder, Gerald managed to shoot himself in the face with his own gun. This definitely made the chase a lot shorter and easier for the officers. Police reported four shots were fired, none of them by the officers. They found Gerald's pistol next to his fallen form. Gerald was transported to a local hospital, and he expired the following day - thus removing a set of genes deficient in both judgment and coordination from the gene pool.
Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentis telum est ("A sword is never a killer, it's a tool in the killer's hands") ~~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the younger" ca. (4 BC - 65 AD)
Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentis telum est ("A sword is never a killer, it's a tool in the killer's hands") ~~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the younger" ca. (4 BC - 65 AD)
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