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Would you hire him?
pickenup
Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! (editor's note: I would have hired him too!!)
NAME: Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, what ever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROMLIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
The gene pool needs clorine.
NAME: Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, what ever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROMLIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
The gene pool needs clorine.
Comments
Give your kids roots and wings. and dont forget the guns!!
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
=================================================================
Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
- Life NRA Member
"If cowardly & dishonorable men shoot unarmed men with army guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary...and not by general deprivation of constitutional privilege." - Arkansas Supreme Court, 1878
Previous Employer: Taylors Peach Farm
Position: Peach Picker
Reason For Leaving: No mo peaches to pick.
How can you hold that against a fella, he done picked 'em all.
Them ducks is wary.
If you don't know your rights, you dont't have any
Edited by - lokdok1 on 09/10/2002 23:52:41
None of the founders could have held a job swabbing the floor today,with out present cookie-cutter mentality.
God,Guts,& GunsHave we lost all 3 ??
If I make a contract with a man to accept his paycheck to perform a given job description, I can't afford to be allergic to the concept of management. Doesn't mean a smart, talented man can't move up, but a guy who gets teed off just for being told what to do should never knowingly take a job as a subordinate -- unless he's willing to keep his word to do the job he signed on for.
We voluntarily make a contract to accept a regular paycheck, and that paycheck represents the terms of the agreement we voluntarily made. If we don't comply, we can quit or be justifiably fired for nonperformance. A deal is a deal. And unemployment is unemployment.
I believe there are some people who don't like authority figures in general -- cops, bosses, whatever -- who seek out self employment, because every time they work for somebody else they wind up in trouble. So they look for a job where they can be entirely self-determining. Nice work, sometimes, if you can find it.
By the way, it costs too much to train some people to hire them, try them out and fire them. Better to get well adjusted people and keep them, in a high quality environment, let them do great work, and know they'll be around a long time.
- Life NRA Member
"If cowardly & dishonorable men shoot unarmed men with army guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary...and not by general deprivation of constitutional privilege." - Arkansas Supreme Court, 1878
Edited by - offeror on 09/11/2002 00:56:26
Why does man kill? He kills for food. But not only for food; frequently, he must have a beverage.
Actual, if he filled out that application right there on the spot, he's got to be a pretty "on his toes" kinda person, I'd give him a chance. I always try to find the better side of a person till they prove me otherwise. I'm sure he'd work there for a week and quit, or stay there until he found something better. You have to admit, working in the fast foo industry really sucks, and the pay does to...
If I'm wrong please correct me, I won't be offended.
The sound of a 12 gauge pump clears a house fatser than Rosie O eats a Big Mac !
"Thunderdome" will be a paradise compared to US if the blindness persists.....(Open your eyes please!) Id hired himm too for intelligence and sinserity.....
JD
400 million cows can't be wrong ( EAT GRASS !!! )
I was in a goofy mood because of extreme fatigue (nope, no drinkin'), and we had a blast at work, and we kicked solid butt in production. Happy folks work damn hard. An overly serious, mundane environment makes for mundane working habits. I know the guy who invented the ASRS system. He made working at his place so much fun that people couldn't wait to get to work. That's a guy who invented this stuff by playing with train sets. Good fun makes good stuff.
" God is in His Heaven, All is Right in the World. "
And none of the above is a bad thing!
Nord
And,if you run a small shop...can't you tell in 5 minutes of discussion what a man is capable of ?
God,Guts,& GunsHave we lost all 3 ??
However, when the worker tries to employ the same philosophy, minimum investment (labor) for maximum return (paycheck), he or she is a lazy, unproductive lout and probably a communist as well. Just so we're clear.
Your hurtin' me here buddy!
cbxjeffIt's too late for me, save yourself.
-Kid
Then again, I just might hire him!
Their ball, their bat, their game.
....................
AD ASTRA PER ASPERA
To the stars through difficulties