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What excuses do you tell your Wife when you get a new gun?

leeblackmanleeblackman Member Posts: 5,303 ✭✭
edited September 2001 in General Discussion
When you walk in that door with that big gren on your face, as soon as she walks around the corner, it hits you. "Oh, sh*t, she gonna ask where I got it and how much was it." What do you say?I used to use the "My father gave it to me." But that got old fast. Now everything only cost $50 and I couldn't pass it up, I'm gonna sale it to someone else for more. And yet there are many unsold, never will be sold rifles sitting in my crammed safe as we speak.
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Comments

  • Evil ATFEvil ATF Member Posts: 1,195 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I've always used the "It's for investment purposes! I bought it for half it's worth! I can resell it in two years after they've been on the ban list that long for quadruple what I paid for it! We'll be rich!" line. It worked for the first three AK's and a few Benelli Tacticals, but she's on to me now. I need a new pitch.
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  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,593 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I buy mostly deer rifles. I come home empty handed, say this rifle has the same problem the one I used last year had, so I got no deer, and I am going to have to get a new rifle for next year.I think she may have figured out the problem with the rifles is the shooter, but it worked for the first 7 or 8.
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  • LowriderLowrider Member Posts: 6,587
    edited November -1
    I just tell her to get in the kitchen and fix my supper.[This message has been edited by Lowrider (edited 09-22-2001).]
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  • soopsoop Member Posts: 4,633
    edited November -1
    Tell your wife?..YOU GUYS TELL YOUR WIFE? Whats wrong with you? That only leads to trouble.If you tell her you bought a gun,she will want a new refrigerator or something.That leaves you with less money for your toys. Seriously though,I have used the investment angle if she catches me with new gun.I have made a few good deals and hunted with them for a few years then sold them for a profit. I always let her know how much I made on the deal. Of course I don`t tell her the profit will go towards another gun.
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  • NEEDCOLDNEEDCOLD Member Posts: 134 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I got lots of guns and no wife. Works out pretty good for now. But I do need someone to clean up this mess... one of these days.
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  • BlueTicBlueTic Member Posts: 4,072
    edited November -1
    I just wait untill she buys something and is feeling guilty. Then go out with my half of OT money (ok sometimes her half too). I have used the kids as an excuse - "Gee honey she shot so good with that marlin - I thought she needed an upgrade" or "He's a growing boy - he'll need a good hunting rifle/shotgun". I know I've overused the investment thing.....
    IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY RIGHTS - GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY (this includes politicians)
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Mrs Rembrandt is so understanding of my "gun buying addiction", she gives me her complete paycheck and asks if that would help....I shed a tear or two out of guilt....then sheepishly accept her offers to help my gun buying illness. I knew years ago that this was a remarkable woman who would do anything for her guy....It saddens me that most of you are not so fortunate.....not!The truth is I have used all the previous excuses at least once, maybe more. My last gun purchase ran about $2500......Mrs Rembrandt got a $25,000 kitchen renovation in exchange. I'm still stinging from that one.
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  • badboybobbadboybob Member Posts: 1,658 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I don't worry about it. She says "did you buy another gun?" When I say yes, she says "I'm getting some new clothes". Damn clothes cost more than guns!
    So many guns to buy. So little money.
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  • NEEDCOLDNEEDCOLD Member Posts: 134 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Do any of y'all mind if I use these excuses in the future? Some seem pretty good and just gotta work...
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  • salzosalzo Member Posts: 6,396 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Leeblackman-by far, the most important and educational topic I have seen on this bb.When I first got married, I bought a Marlin 3030. I was young and stupid, and I actually told my wife how much it cost. A few days later, we went "shopping", and my wife found this beautiful sappire ring that she just had to have, which cost just about what I payed for the rifle. Got the ring, and realized my honesty policy was going nowhere. Now, I do pretty much the same as you. The gun was fifty dollars, or my dad gave it to me. I have started feeling guilty lying to her, so now I leave it in the trunk until she goes to bed, and then I put it in my safe.
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  • kimberkidkimberkid Member Posts: 8,858 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I got ya all beat cause my wife doesn't care as long as I pay for it out of my "gun money" which over the years has also paid for numerous trips to visit her parents or sister, last year when she was pregnant I up-graded her engagement ring diamond from a 1/4 caret to almost a full caret, she didn't know about that until two months ago when she wanted to see if it would fit yet and had me get it out of the safe ... (that got me some real kudos!) and most recently new carpet ... maybe she doesn't care since I spend "gun money" on her too ... and its always something she wants but never asks for or says will get it next year ...
    GUN CONTROL: If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention!kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
    If you really desire something, you'll find a way ?
    ? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Personal home budgets should be compared to our Nation's budget....Health & human services = food, insurance, medicalHud = house payments & utilitiesSocial Security = 401K's and retirementTransportation = pickup trucks, autos, motorcyclesDefense = full gun safe I beleive in a strong defense establishment!!!
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  • wiredogwiredog Member Posts: 116 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    easy "Oh, this thing, I've had this forever." She has no idea what is sitting in my safe. Of course she wouldn't know a .22 from a tank. Kinda helps.
    I spent all my money on guns, women, and beer. The rest I just wasted.wiredog70@hotmail.com
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  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
    edited November -1
    I'm lucky. My wife loves guns. The problem with her is how to keep her from taking it away from me. I have bought two at a time so I could give her one as a gift. Her brother is a different story. When he's ready to by a new gun, he grabs an empty hard case (rifle or pistol) and heads out the door exclaiming to his wife, "I'm going to go sell this d@#m gun, I've got too many as it is." He later returns (new gun in case) and tells her "H#!!, I'm not going to give the thing away. I'll sell it later." I've seen it work 50 times.
    Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE!
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  • tajjntajjn Member Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Got tired of lying, got rid of the wife
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  • leeblackmanleeblackman Member Posts: 5,303 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Boy some of you guys are just plain "whipped." Boy it sure was good when the 'My father bought it for me.' used to work, but then she found out my dad was using the same excuse with my mom, 'I bought it for Lee.' And that was over. Luckly when I can home with my last toy, I remembered another guy on a previous string said the "I got it for $50." and it popped in my head saving my butt.Luckely my dad is self employed and owns a large office space. He got a safe and put it in the back room of his office, we now just transport all new purchases directly to the safe. Now its just a matter of lying about why theres $1200 or $1400 missing from my checking accout.
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  • legn4legn4 Member Posts: 481 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Wiredog we must have married sisters thats what i always say.
    Work'n like a dog all nite
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  • gunpaqgunpaq Member Posts: 4,607 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    She always asks "Honey, why do you need another gun you have enough already?" I always answer"Honey why do you need another Longaberger basket you have enough already?" I don't think that I will catch up to her as she has over 90 baskets but it gives me an acceptable excuse if one were ever needed.She started shooting a handgun last month and likes it-said she will buy me a new basket of her choice if I buy her a Lady Smith.
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  • spec.4spec.4 Member Posts: 897 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I got you all beat! If I do not buy something that I like, she buys it for me. And she even took over my collection, which is about 30 guns, She even loves the one Swedish mauser I bought off of Steve, so I "had" to get another. I have to build them heavy so she will not take them or get one just like the one I first bought. Now I am buy or making two of everything. Now she want me to make her a 1911A1 like mine, plus a AR-15. Boy, I wish all women are like her. I do feel sorry for you when you have to tell "white lies" to you better half.Some guys have all the luck, and some don't. I guest I got luckly.
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  • YankeeClipperYankeeClipper Member Posts: 669 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Glad to hear that all of you went through the same thing that I did. But here is the kicker, I confronted my problem, and I realized it was bigger than both of us.So I just gave in and started bringing them through the front door like a kid with a new toy,and I was right, she didn't have the heart to complain,And I do the same for her. When she buys me a new gun for Christmas, Birthday or Fathers day, I'ts the best gun I've ever had and I've always wanted on of these.
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  • leeblackmanleeblackman Member Posts: 5,303 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    gunpaq- I have the answer to your problem, just buy more guns to shoot the baskets with. HeheheSpec4- Dude, I am so very jelous of you... Why can my old lady be more like that.
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  • ghotie_thumperghotie_thumper Member Posts: 1,561 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Unfortunately my wife doesn't have a hobby. She hunts with me but doesn't like to shoot targets much. I just go out find her a really nice Black Hills Gold Ring, especially if its got a itty bitty diamond in it, then the doors open to whatever I want and no lying, no begging no problems. I make about 3 times what she does but that doesn't have to come into the equation. We've been married 18 yrs, so far so good. I knew I was on the right track years ago when she came home from bingo with her mom. She won a 400 dollar blackout and told me I could buy a new rifle with it. I didn't feel bad about buying her a new ring with my next overtime check. And just the other day when I was looking over a new 11-87 sp 3 1/2 inch mag, she said, Who do I make the check out to honey? I took her out for steak and lobster after that one.
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  • XP100XP100 Member Posts: 435 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    No problems with my wife. I am opening a gun shop in a couple weeks(Oct 5th). My wife was out there and saw I have 3 empty places in my 36 gun display area and told me I "need" at least 3 more guns. Before you ask she has no sisters like her.
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  • WIN-COLTWIN-COLT Member Posts: 60 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    A good old friend that helped me learn the in's and out's of the gun business told me once that his wife couldn't tell 1 gun from another but she could count how many he had at one month to the next and that was his undoing. I tend to tell my wife nothing when I buy a gun because I would want to slip the new gun in when she isn't home. She has no idea that I have been buying, but now she ocasionally checks my gunbroker e-mail messages especially the 1's that say that I won another auction. I have a separate fund for buying guns like kimberkid does. I respect that kimberkid buys his wife stuff paid for from his gun money but I decimate my surplus nearly monthly and have just enough to buy my investment guns. Besides she learns of my purchases at a rate of 1 out of 3 or 4 guns.
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  • sandman2234sandman2234 Member Posts: 894 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Biggest mistake I made was letting my Wife read this over my shoulder.
    Have Gun, will travel
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  • 4000fps4000fps Member Posts: 786 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Walked in the door yesterday with a new Remington PSS. Told my wife I was trying to boost the economy a bit. She did not buy it.Purchased her a 1000.00 jute box in the afternoon....all is well.RembrandtCould you have your wife talk to mine?
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  • biganimalbiganimal Member Posts: 135 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    been wheelin n dealin in firearms for over 20 years and have bought diamonds, jewelry and vacations including a Hawaii trip with the proceeds of this hobby so when I come in with a new gun she says nothing. Besides that when you have over 100 she doesn't know if it's new or not. Heck I put our oldest son thru college too.
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  • Mark IIMark II Member Posts: 247 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My favorite one is "I traded that old one for it (this new one)." It has worked, mainly because I implied that it was a straight trade. She didn't notice the chunk missing from the checking account. I can't use the one about I got it from my father, she'll check. Now I am reduced to actually saving up for new guns. What has this world come to?
    "To meet with ill fortune is to meet with good fortune. To meet with submission is to meet an enemy."
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  • KadaverKadaver Member Posts: 333 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    i have no wife at the moment....might in about a year though.......we have a little deal, Every gun i get = a new ring for her.
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  • salzosalzo Member Posts: 6,396 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Kadaver- You are going to waste all of that money on Jewelry? You really have to find some other way.
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  • Dave3Dave3 Member Posts: 106 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I get the guns in all right but I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to sneek in that new safe. She is going to notice that! Plus she will then know that the other one must be full and when did I buy all those. I won it on a tip board. I traded for it(she dosent need to know I traded cash) It was only a couple hundred dollars My boss gave it to me as a bounus It's worth twice what I paid for it. I've had it on lay away for months.
    "Protect the Right to Protect yourself"
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    1."Hey babe,if the gunsmith calls while i`m gone,tell `em I`ll pick up them guns after work."...Notice I said guns,this frees me up to buy several at a time!!2.Look at this phone bill....these calls to your kin folks in Costa Rica are gunna brake me!!!...I`m gunna have to setup at another gunshow this weekend,and sell off some of my guns to pay for them calls!!...I`ll also have to invest in a few for the next show!!
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  • scksck Member Posts: 145 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Dear Fellows: Here is a solution that has worked for me and may do some of you some good. The important part is that she can't know how many guns you have or have access to the safe in order to count them. Basically the tactic works like this, when you get ready to go out to a gun show or gun shop, take a minute and stuff one of your old zippered type gun cases full of newspaper so it looks like there is a gun in it. When she asks about where you're going say something honest like "I'm thinking about trading in something on a new gun." It's not exactly a lie, because you have actually thought about trading something in, you just don't tell her that you decided against it! Then when you come home with a new gun in the case she will assume 1) you traded for something new or 2) you came back with what you started with. It also helps sometime to come home with the case empty, creating the illusion that you got rid of something. Then mope about for a couple of days like you lost your best friend and there may be a reward in it for you. The only weak spot in this strategy is when you reach the point that the expansion of your collections reaches the point that it requires buying another safe. Regards -- Steve
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