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Help, I screwed up!

mcneely77mcneely77 Member Posts: 411 ✭✭✭
edited February 2002 in General Discussion
Today I went and purchased this NIB Springfield 1911A1 I have been eyeballing for some time. The wife knew that I wanted it, but she thought that I was going to buy this previously owned Ruger that I was also looking at that was much less expensive. When she found out what I did, she blew a fuse. I made the mistake of trying to explain about my love for the Tradition, History etc. etc., I was wasting my breath. To make a long story shorter, She made me swear this was the last gun I was going to buy. To smooth things over, I agreed. I know it will turn out to be a lie, but I had to say it. Have any of you ever made this mistake and then gotten out of it? How did you do it? How long did it take before you could purchase another weapon? Thanks for the help in advance.Thom
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Comments

  • oneshyoneshy Member Posts: 417 ✭
    edited November -1
    Do what my brother did. Take her to the range, teach her to shoot and let her blast a few tin cans. Get her involved and she'll get the fever too.
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    ....afraid you've really dug a deep hole here. Maybe...just maybe, if you buy some flowers and crawl on your knees....take her out for a nice dinner & movie....well, you can only hope for the best.
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  • BoltactionManBoltactionMan Member Posts: 2,048 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Now I can't recommend this for everyone. In this day and age of sensitivity and truthfulness and all...but here goes. Leave the house with an empty gun case and come back with a full one. This really only works if you have separate gun cash stash. Personally, I also sell some of mine from time to time if I don't shoot them, so it all evens out. "You bought another gun?" Me:"Yes dear, but jeez I just sold two last week."Also, she likes to buy baskets and figurines and such. I don't say a word. If I start getting the third degree I just stand silently in the family room and slowly scan 360 degrees.KC
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  • rogue_robrogue_rob Member Posts: 7,033 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'll give ya 200 bucks for the gun. hehe.
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  • wipalawipala Member Posts: 11,067
    edited November -1
    Go to her closet open it up and look at her shoes and start adding up the cost.
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  • robsgunsrobsguns Member Posts: 4,581 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'd go out and immediately buy another and bring it home and show her, and let her know I was calling her bluff. Is she bluffing??
    SSgt Ryan E. Roberts, USMC
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  • boeboeboeboe Member Posts: 3,331
    edited November -1
    Well, here's a thought. You didn't promise not to buy anymore gun parts, did you? You could start buying parts and receivers, possibly the 80% complete unfinished receivers, and just start building your own guns yourself. Just once should do it. When she sees how much you are spending on the individual parts and how much time you are spending putting it together, she will be begging you to just buy the dang things all put together. If one doesn't do it, start spending money on a lathe, milling mahine, and precision tools so you can finish them out. Oh yeh, there's the welder, too. Not to mention the video tapes on how to finish the guns. And perhaps the vo-tech classes to learn to operate the equipment. Start with a big project, like a heavy barrel FAL rifle. The DSA heavy barrel front ends for the FAL are $550.00 themselves. Then there's the quality parts you will need to make it a real match grade rifle. But you'll have a heck of a gun when you do get finished. you might as well make it a good one, since you can only build one per year.There's a big advantage to doing that. If you build your own guns using the 80% complete receivers, you are building guns you can legally own, but can never sell. So the divorce judge can't order you to sell them!Before you start the project sit down with her with a calculator, and figure up the tools, parts, and other needed items might be all you need. Maybe she will get the point.Then again, you can always just buy more guns and keep them at my house. I'll never tell a soul.
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  • will270winwill270win Member Posts: 4,845
    edited November -1
    That "fever" thing worked with my wife. You should see all the guns in this place. Some of them are hers and she wants another Glock!
    If you can't fix it with a hammer, take it to a mechanic. will270win@aol.com ~Secret Select Society Of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
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  • Rafter-SRafter-S Member Posts: 2,173 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I think there is a "good" reason for your wife to get mad, then there is the "real" reason. It's up to you to deternine the real reason. Could it be:- she is worried about paying the bills and having enough for what she feels is important for the family, like utilities, insurance, 401K savings, shoes for the kids, etc...- she feels short-changed in buying "toys"...for example, have you bought other non-essential things where she didn't get an equal number/value of personal things?- she feels you buy things that take you away from doing things with her--your friends and stuff get more of your attention than she wants to give up...Get the idea? You have to find out "why" she pitched the fit. If you don't, trouble lies ahead.I think if it were me, I would return the gun for a refund. Even if she now said don't. And even if I lost money on the deal. It would be less important than the peace between us. Then I would get my wife alone, maybe out to dinner...but somewhere where nothing could interrupt us for several hours and try to get her to express her feelings on my buying guns. I would try to understand why she felt the way she did. In doing so I would NOT try to justify myself or imply she was wrong in feeling the way she does.Anyway, good luck on the problem. Take it from someone who has been married 41 years...and owns over 50 guns, you have to understand what bothers your wife and learn to deal with it. That understanding can get you lots of toys in your toy-box and a contented wife too.
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  • niklasalniklasal Member Posts: 776 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    That same thing happened to me. I had some old friends fly into town, and we took a visit to a gun shop. Well, normally I'd look and leave, but with my friends prodding meon, I couldn't resist and got another handgun."How I am going to explain this to the missus?!""Let me take care of this....Hey Ms. NIKLASAL! Look what we bought for you!"Yep, technically it's her gun, but I still have a new gun I canshoot and I still get to sleep in the bed!
    NIKLASAL@hotmail.com
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  • offerorofferor Member Posts: 8,625 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I think you've got something there. My dad used to come home with a man toy now and then, and Mom usually went ballistic. But Dad also made the mistake of buying Mom cookware or a sweeper for her birthday... fireworks!
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  • Richie RichRichie Rich Member Posts: 439 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I just had a simalar thing happen to me where I said one amount and actualy was alot more...soooo I just sold a old a-5 and ruger p94 to make it up.But, for her cure---DIAMONDS---- seems to make mine forget. One thing about having a safe though is she can't tell a old one from a new one.
    Remember,"your woman may not find you handsome, But atleast she'll find ya handy". I love that show..............
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  • Richie RichRichie Rich Member Posts: 439 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I just had a simalar thing happen to me where I said one amount and actualy was alot more...soooo I just sold a old a-5 and ruger p94 to make it up.But, for her cure---DIAMONDS---- seems to make mine forget. One thing about having a safe though is she can't tell a old gun from a new one.
    Remember,"your woman may not find you handsome, But atleast she'll find ya handy". I love that show..............
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  • Richie RichRichie Rich Member Posts: 439 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    opps thought I stopped in time to change a word, guess not.
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  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It pays in the long run to buy what you really want and not what is made to look appealing because of a sale price.The money is soon forgotten and you'd be looking at a second best for a lot of years,regretting you didnt get what you really want.Your wife wouldnt want Lord and Taylor lookalike shoes from Thom McAnns would she?My wife is a German national who has all the gestapo genes. I thought she was unaware of my burgeoning gun hobby until I recently found out she didnt miss a trick. She figures an active gun hobby beats an interest in blondes or buying another airplane.A few years ago in a model shop a guy and his wife were looking at two sets of wheels for a Spad; one was $5. and the other more detailed pair were $60. When they walked out the clerk said "he's coming back without the wife and will buy the $60 pair. That's how men are.Apologize but explain that in some things you just have to have the best.
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  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Rafter-S has a good point. Lemme give you a bit of advice that I wish I could have given you before the situation arose. First of all, you have to determine her true objection. Start off by saying, "Obviously you have a reason for saying that. What is that reason?" She will give you a reason such as, "We need new shingles on the house." Counter that by saying, "Just suppose we didn't need the new shingles. Would you mind then?" If it is the true objection, she will say that she wouldn't mind. If she throws in another objection, then you know her initial objection wasn't the real deal. Counter her second objection with the "Obviously you have a reason for saying that" bit again. It sounds canned so you need to switch around the wording and make it sound natural. After you determine the true objection, overcome it. "I understand how you feel. I feel the same way. But I think we will come to find out that we can still get the new shingles if...." Be creative with this rationalization part. Don't give her a chance to butt in just yet. Say, "So with that in mind, I could buy this new gun and we could get the new shingles if...." Finish with the rationalization but have a great credible justification for the new gun and a great line of reasoning that will overcome her new objection. 1. Determine objection.2. Feel, Felt, Find (appeals to feelings, women dig that)3. Rationalize objection.4. Propose solution that will satisfy objection and satisfy your desire for a new gun. 5. Finish by suggesting two different timelines and manners in which her objection can be satisfied. Ensure that both timelines and manners are suitable to you but let her pick which one she wants to follow so she feels empowered by that choice.[This message has been edited by idsman75 (edited 02-26-2002).]
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  • Matt45Matt45 Member Posts: 3,185
    edited November -1
    Belive it or not, my wife actually LISTENS to me when I present a calm rational, well thought out, logical line of reasoning as to why I need to have this new "barrel/die/powder/bullets/pistol/rifle/stock/accessory/acoutrement".Of course then when she's done listening she laughs hysterically and says, "That's nice dear."No really, if I have a good reason, I usually get my way, even if it has a few small strings attached. Usually the strings are chores I was going to do anyway, I just have to do 'em when she wants is all.
    Reserving my Right to Arm Bears!!!!
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  • aby80aby80 Member Posts: 245 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I guess I am lucky. My wife has never complained about the number of guns I buy. She even listens to the local trades and sales program on our local radio station when I am out of the room and will write down a description and phone number of any guns listed for sale. I make sure I never complain about anything she wants to buy. I have never been disappointed in our relationship. I have bought her at least 6-8 guns of her own that she shoots when we go to the local shooting area.
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