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Tom Daschle attacked!

alledanalledan Member Posts: 19,541
edited March 2002 in General Discussion
Tom Daschle's political future was dealt a severe blow Thursday, when a man posing as a barber completely butchered the South Dakota Senator's hair.The incident comes only a few weeks after Miami Heat coach Pat Riley had his hair butchered in similar fashion.The tragedy took place at Sally Quinn's Socially Acceptable Salon, located near Capitol Hill. Daschle was making his weekly visit to the facility and didn't notice anything unusual until he sat down for his trim. A man who went only by the name of Jimmy, volunteered to cut his hair, and none of the other stylists objected. Diane Jones, who also works at the Salon, witnessed the crime and agreed to give this reporter the details. "The Senator came in for his Thursday trim. As usual none of us wanted to cut his hair, because he's such a terrible tipper. You're lucky if you get a quarter out of that guy. That is when the new guy, Jimmy, who had only been working here for about a half an hour, volunteered to take Daschle. Of course no one objected, next thing I know, Jimmy is giving Daschle some sort of reverse Mohawk. He then throws down the clipper and runs out of the salon. No one has seen him since."Diane went on to say that Daschle didn't take the news of his hair butchering well. "He began jumping up and down, crying and screaming that those damn Republicans did this. Then one of the stylists gave him a lollipop and he began to settle down."Investigators made no public statements regarding the crime, but privately believe the Riley and Daschle cases are related. A source close to the investigation told us there wasn't much doubt about that. "We got two hair mutilations in three weeks, both incidents were carried out by an individual known only as Jimmy, the cases are shockingly similar. We are beginning to think we are dealing with a serial hair butcher." Adding to the mounting evidence of a serial hair butcher, was the note found on the floor inside the salon, it reportedly had only the words "Son of Floyd" written on it. As for Daschle's political future, many believe that this will have a very damaging effect. Yet others believe if he wears a hairpiece until his real hair grows back, he may be able to weather this storm. He is rumored to be contacting the Hair Club for Men at this very moment.
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