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Liberals Are More Likely To Suffer Heart Attacks
zipperzap
Member Posts: 25,057
I guess there IS a Dog!
In a recent study performed by researchers at Drew Fallon College near Redding, CA, suggests that people passionate in liberal causes tend to suffer more heart-related ailments.
Susan Belusco, who led the research, managed to gather three study groups, one group of 115 people claiming to be passionate over conservative causes, a second group of 115 claiming to be passionate over liberal causes, and a third group of 115 people who claiming not to pay much attention to political issues, dubbed the "neutral group".
"The conservative and neutral groups seemed to share similar vitals after testings on the EKG and the treadmill", notes Belusco. "Blood pressure readings didn't seem to vary much between these two groups. However, the liberal group showed remarkably higher number of people above the healthy blood pressure range, and treadmill tests suggested a higher number of people with weaker cardiac rhythm, and more stressed breathing."
Overall, Belusco notes the liberal group had an 18% higher rate of cardio-pulmonary risk factors, ranging from hypertension, to smoking, to being overweight.
A psychological analysis conducted by Belusco's assistant, Jonathan Fitz, showed that the liberal group tended to have more sleeping problems, and experienced higher cases of stress. "Tests we've conducted showed the liberal group tended to have higher feelings of hopelessness than with the conservative and neutral groups", Fitz explains.
Dr. Isao Yamapoopa, who studies the effects of current events on human behavior at Cowle Laboratories, Inc. in Payson, AZ, took an interest in the study and offered some explanations surrounding the results.
"Within the past 10 years, we've witnessed certain events that tend to weigh more heavily on people active in the liberal movement", says Yamapoopa. "News of global warming, Americans voting for more conservative politicians, the building of more Wal-Mart stores, these things and more are putting liberals under greater stress".
Yamapoopa also points to more clinical matters, such as a correlation of caffeine addiction with the increase of coffee houses, higher sodium intake with the popularity of tofu-based substitutes, and an increase in electro-magnetic radiation from driving hybrid cars.
[:D]
In a recent study performed by researchers at Drew Fallon College near Redding, CA, suggests that people passionate in liberal causes tend to suffer more heart-related ailments.
Susan Belusco, who led the research, managed to gather three study groups, one group of 115 people claiming to be passionate over conservative causes, a second group of 115 claiming to be passionate over liberal causes, and a third group of 115 people who claiming not to pay much attention to political issues, dubbed the "neutral group".
"The conservative and neutral groups seemed to share similar vitals after testings on the EKG and the treadmill", notes Belusco. "Blood pressure readings didn't seem to vary much between these two groups. However, the liberal group showed remarkably higher number of people above the healthy blood pressure range, and treadmill tests suggested a higher number of people with weaker cardiac rhythm, and more stressed breathing."
Overall, Belusco notes the liberal group had an 18% higher rate of cardio-pulmonary risk factors, ranging from hypertension, to smoking, to being overweight.
A psychological analysis conducted by Belusco's assistant, Jonathan Fitz, showed that the liberal group tended to have more sleeping problems, and experienced higher cases of stress. "Tests we've conducted showed the liberal group tended to have higher feelings of hopelessness than with the conservative and neutral groups", Fitz explains.
Dr. Isao Yamapoopa, who studies the effects of current events on human behavior at Cowle Laboratories, Inc. in Payson, AZ, took an interest in the study and offered some explanations surrounding the results.
"Within the past 10 years, we've witnessed certain events that tend to weigh more heavily on people active in the liberal movement", says Yamapoopa. "News of global warming, Americans voting for more conservative politicians, the building of more Wal-Mart stores, these things and more are putting liberals under greater stress".
Yamapoopa also points to more clinical matters, such as a correlation of caffeine addiction with the increase of coffee houses, higher sodium intake with the popularity of tofu-based substitutes, and an increase in electro-magnetic radiation from driving hybrid cars.
[:D]
Comments
I've got to cut back on sniffing glue.[;)]
Liberals have their heads lodged up their @$$es. This means that they don't get enough oxygen in their bloodstream, thus leading to heart problems.
What I don't get is that usually liberals are younger folks and conservatives are older folks. The younger folks should be in better cardiovascular shape. For the study to be valid they would have to find liberals and conservatives of the same age group.
I think the younger liberals are just misinformed kids who havent lived long enough to figure out the truth. Older liberals are folks who just can't accept the truth and are more likely to be "pathologically liberal."
I like the part about the building of more Walmart Stores putting liberals under pressure. Funny, Walmart seems to have the same effect on conservative folks on this forum.
What I don't get is that usually liberals are younger folks and conservatives are older folks. The younger folks should be in better cardiovascular shape. For the study to be valid they would have to find liberals and conservatives of the same age group.
I think the younger liberals are just misinformed kids who havent lived long enough to figure out the truth. Older liberals are folks who just can't accept the truth and are more likely to be "pathologically liberal."
Winston Churchill once said, "Any man under 30 who is not liberal has no heart. Any man over 30 who is not convervative has no brains."
Yamapoopa, Yourapoopa wouldn't you like to be a poopa too?
I've got to cut back on sniffing glue.[;)]
[:D][:D]
ROFLMAO Hugh, the average of posters on this board must be about 11,413!
quote:usually liberals are younger folks and conservatives are older folks.
ROFLMAO Hugh, the average of posters on this board must be about 11,413!
Like Paul Simon said.. Why deny the obvious child?
On that alone I call junk science
what about Dick Cheney???
On that alone I call junk science
There was no study. It is supposed to be a joke. It's just some crap that someone who hates liberals made up. You could do the same thing with the results reversed, and say that Conservatives have more brain aneurysms because seeing gay people holding hands in public makes their brains explode.
True, dat.
Now, I'm liberal, but to a degree
I want ev'rybody to be free
But if you think that I'll let Dick Cheney
Move in next door and marry my daughter
You must think I'm crazy!
I wouldn't let him do it for all the farms in Cuba.
(Owing much to "I shall be free #10" -Bob Dylan)