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Mary had a little lamb........

jimdeerejimdeere Member Posts: 20,069 ✭✭✭✭
edited December 2011 in General Discussion
Mary had a little Lamb,
She fed it castor oil,
And everywhere that Mary went
it fertilized the soil.

Mary had a little Lamb,
She also had a duck,
She put them on the windowsill
To see if they would fall off.

Mary had a little watch
She swallowed it one day
And so she took some castor oil
To pass the time away.

The castor oil it did not work
The watch refused to pass,
So if you want to know the time,
Just look up ... at the clock.

Mary had a little Lamb,
It followed her to school,
They tied a brick around its neck
And drowned it in the pool.

Mary had a bicycle,
She rode it back to front,
And every time she turned a bend
The spokes went up her leg.

Mary had a little Lamb,
She took it to the zoo,
It got raped by an elephant
And had a kangaroo.

Mary had a little Lamb,
Her father shot it dead,
She still takes the lamb to school
Between two bits of bread.

Mary had a little Lamb,
You've heard that tale before,
But have you heard she passed her plate
And had a little more.

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10 000 volts shot up its ...leg
And turned its wool to nylon

Mary had an little lamb
It danced in skips and hops,
It danced into the road one day
And ended up as chops

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
But I've never seen her bare.

Mary had a little dress
Its seam was split up high
And every where that Mary went
The boys could see her thigh

Mary had another dress
Its seam was split up front
But she never wore that one!

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
But when Old McDonald had a farm
He couldn't believe his eyes

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
Its sooty foot he put.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
Maar 'n ram het die lam gevang
En kyk hoe lyk hy nou!

They sat upon the grassy bank
And she was all a-quiver...
He undid her suspender belt
And her leg fell into the river!

Mary had a little lamb
and tied it to the heater,
every time it turned around
it burned its little peter!

Mary had a little lamb
She ate it with mint sauce
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb went too, of course

Mary had a little lamb,
And it was always grunting.
She tied to the garden fence,
And kicked it's ... favourite soccerball

Mary is a proper girl,
She goes to church on Sundays.
She prays that she will have the strength,
To chase the boys on Mondays.

A peanut sat on a railroad track
His heart was all a-flutter
A chooka train came round the bend,
TOOT TOOT Peanut butter.

A hen and a chicken went for a walk
Just to stretch their legs,
A motorcar came round the bend,
TOOT TOOT Ham and eggs.

Oh! the night was dark and dreary,
The air was full of sleet,
.........

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