Brewster the Rooster

ATF

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Whitey kept records and any rooster that didn't
perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of Whitey's time so Whitey got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so Whitey could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Whitey's favorite rooster was old Brewster, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning Whitey noticed old Brewster's
bell hadn't rung at all!

Whitey went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

BUT, to Whitey's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Whitey was so proud of Brewster, he entered him in the county fair... and Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...

The judges not only awarded Brewster the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly Brewster was a democrat. Who else could figure out how to win two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populous and screwing them?

ATF

Whitey was in the egg business. He had several hundred young layers
called pullets and eight or ten roosters whose job was to fertilize
the eggs.

Whitey kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the
soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Whitey's time.

So Whitey decided to get a set of tiny bells and attached them to his
roosters. Each bell had a slightly different tone so Whitey could
tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit
on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to
the bells.

Whitey's favorite rooster was old Brewster, a very fine specimen he
was, too. However, this particular morning Whitey noticed old
Brewster's bell wasn't ringing, so Whitey went to investigate. The
other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets,
hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To Whitey's
amazement he found that Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it
couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and move on to
the next one.

Whitey was very proud of Brewster so he entered him in the county
fair, and Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was that the judges not only awarded Brewster the "No Bell
Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly Brewster was a Democrat. Who else could figure out how to win
two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the
best at sneaking up on the populous and screwing them before they
realized what was going on!

ATF

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young
layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to
fertilize the eggs. Whitey kept records and any rooster that didn't
perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of Whitey's time so Whitey got a set of tiny bells
and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so
Whitey could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he
could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by
listening to the bells.

Whitey's favorite rooster was old Brewster, a very fine specimen he was,
too. But on this particular morning Whitey noticed old Brewster's bell
hadn't rung at all!

Whitey went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets,
bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for
cover.

BUT, to Whitey's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it
couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the
next one.

Whitey was so proud of Brewster, he entered him in the county fair... and
Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...

The judges not only awarded Brewster the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they
also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.[:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D]

ATF

Farmer Brown had a rooster named Brewster. Brewster the Rooster had an insatiable appetite for sex. After Brewster had his way with every female fowl on the farm, he went after the cat, then the dog, then the sheep and the pigs.

Farmer Brown says to Brewster, "Brewster! You keep going at this rate, you're going to wear yourself out, and die of exhaustion. You're a good rooster, and I can't afford to lose you, so knock it off."

Two days later, Farmer Brown walks into the barn to find Brewster having his way with Farmer Brown's horse up against the barn door. "Brewster!," says Farmer Brown, "what did I just finish telling you the other day! I'm worried about you. I can't have you wearing yourself out and dying on me. You need to stop this nonsense right now. You're a good rooster, and I can't afford to lose you."

The next day, Farmer Brown walks out of the house and can see buzzards circling above his field. He walks out, and sure enough, lying motionless on the ground is Brewster. "Oh, Brewster," Farmer Brown sighs, "I told you this would happen. Shame, too, to lose such a good rooster."

Just then, Brewster's eye pops open. "Shhhh," whispers Brewster, pointing to the sky, "they're about to land..."

[:D]

chorkie

I think I need a drink[:0]

barto

I have a cassette tape with the TRUE&FACTUAL story of Brewster the rooster's many exploits.
Decorum prevents me from printing any of them here. (Also Nunn would prolly prevent it too).

Win some, lose some.
Winning's better.

Da-Tank

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]