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Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035

Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
edited November 2001 in General Discussion
Newspaper headlines in the year 2035

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops &livestock.

Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine.

[:D][:)][8D][:I][}:)][:o)][:p]




















ATF

Comments

  • Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November -1
    Fourth one from the bottom is the best one!

    NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
    largest country in the world, California.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the
    California's third language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops &
    livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

    Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of
    the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and
    Lebanon.)

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten
    more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
    but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
    mail delivery to Wednesday only.

    35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
    rights.

    Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so
    it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
    swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions
    to campaign accounts.

    Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.











    Edited by - pabooger on 11/04/2002 15:51:18
  • Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November -1
    Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035 Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon) Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with candy striper. Texas executes last remaining citizen. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.
    I wouldn't mind being the last man on earth-just to see if all of those girls were telling me the truth....
  • Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November -1
    Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035-- Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.-- Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops and livestock.-- Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon).-- Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.-- George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.-- 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.-- Nursing home event: Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with candy striper.-- Texas executes last remaining citizen.-- Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.-- Baby conceived naturally; scientists stumped.-- Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.-- Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.-- Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.-- Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.-- New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.
  • Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November -1
    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

    Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $7.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

    35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.



    SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the best gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net
  • Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November -1
    Subject: Fw: NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035





    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
    largest country in the world, California.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
    California's third language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens! northwestern United States crops &
    livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

    Authentic year 2000 "Chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
    legally, but Pres. Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

    35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
    rights.

    Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
    swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.~~~


    Quod principi placuit legis habet vigorem.Semper Fidelis
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